the
Truth
Is where our hearts
Lie.

And I know sometimes you stay up later than you want to
Thinking about things,
you would rather forget.

And you wonder why
You're always sure to lock the doors
And draw the blinds
But you somehow
leave pieces of yourself
Folded up in the pockets of your jeans
And dropped in puddles on the sidewalk.
You don't understand
How you're always sure to blow the candles out,
But never able to let anyone else in

I don't know why the caged bird sings,
And I'm not sure why you haven't called.

I imagine
That the love of your life
Is like your favorite book
Because you'll know
He's the one
Only a few
Chapters in

We played
Tic
Tac
Toe,
And even there,
Lost in our game
of curves
And lines,
We couldn't find
A single path
To take.

And I think it makes the right kind of sense, that I would think of you in the moments that the clouds break.
It's in those slips of blue sky, that I remember why I loved you in the first place, and how hard you fought, to burn me out with the sun.

You were
The bookmark
In my life,
Tucked away between pages
I never wanted to reread.
You were the song that filled
Every silence,
Always singing me
words
That I
wanted to forget.
You were the heartbeat
Hammering in my chest,
When all I wanted
Was to be still.

And it's not the leaving that hurts, but rather, your ability to come back without making a sound.

I kept hoping over cracks only to fall hopelessly into holes. I continued to skip over bumps, only to be tripped by the mountains.

And the blinds hung crooked, so everyone could see...that even inside, things were terribly not right.

Maybe it was just a chapter, but you don't understand how desperately I wanted it to be an entire book.

There are a lot of things we should stop, and even more things we should start doing.

Tell me about the galaxies you had to cross to get here, about the beds you slept in before mine. Remind me that my life was something you grabbed up like raindrops in a drought.

I stopped listening to love songs because I want so much more than words strung together by empty promises.

He had a talent for moving like water. I had a talent for burning in silence.

I suppose you had a birthday somewhere in those months of silence. I suppose you went on grand adventures and maybe even kissed a few girls. I suppose you never even thought of me.

There's something about reading poetry in the dark that reminds me of you.

I loved the stars before they were galaxies.

And.

I loved you before you loved yourself.

And oh, I love the trees. They bend the same way I break.

Took a walk in my bare feet just to feel something.

And it was so hard, all the red flags looked like roses.

You were so violent that
Every time I saw you
The breathe escaped me.
You were so threatening, you,
Always trying to capture
And keep me.
You were so beautiful, you,
Always painting the future
With colors that did not exist.
You were so smart
You knew just the moment
To walk away.
You

At sixteen,
You should be allowed
To make promises
You can't keep.

And he will fill your heart with so many nerves, you will mistake it for your brain.

I think we read big books to forget that we are living small lives.

Because sometimes you can't carry yourself home.

We have a lot of time in this life to think.
What we don't have however, is time to
Dance
Sing
Laugh
Hug
Explore
And create
So let's spend our time doing that.
And let's think about it later.
Let's create while the paint is wet and dance while the music is good.
We can think some other time.

I build things up in my head, I create alternate universes for alternate versions of myself. I sprinkle charm and madness into every crack and wait for flowers to spring up. I dissolution myself into tiny pieces, and then, when no one is looking, I release a breath of air... And send those pieces flying into the void

I know that 'right now' doesn't
feel right.
I know that everything
feels too big or too tight.
But
we are still growing,
still adjusting,
still
learning to breathe.
I know that one day
it will get better.
Because I have seen happy moments take flight
and fill up an entire sky.
We will continue, we will fail, and we will become.
I hold these truths to be self evident.
We measure life in birthdays and weddings and
milestones.
We fill the spaces with car rides, and coffee cups and
stolen kisses.
We keep chasing, we keep searching, we keep becoming.

There is a bookcase
Full of stories
She never read.
There is a closet
Stuffed with clothes
That never touched her skin.
There is a journal
On the floor
with empty pages.
Because every thought
She ever had
Was never
Good enough.

Write me a song
And I'll fall
In love.
With every
Word
Every breath
Every note.
Play me a rhythm
And I'll
Dance along
To every beat
Every drop
Every strum.
Write me a love story
And I'll fall
In love
With every lie.

But, when you keep saying "I'm stronger than this"
and your voice wavers
and tears
threaten
it is very hard to believe
that
you are stronger
than anything.  
Because when you look up
at a great big mountain
and its peak kisses god's lips
but you can't even
mumble his name.
When you look at an ocean
and see
how it's waves keep reaching
the sand
and you can't even reach out.
When you see a bird
find the way back to
it's hidden nest,
but some days
you can't even
find your way back
to
yourself