I don't remember the last time
I heard your voice
or the last time you spoke so
nice and softly to me
like you used to.
I listen to old voicemails
just to hear that voice again.
I don't know what form of torture you
would call that,
but it's like putting a drop
of water in the desert
making it long for more
but we all know water doesn't
belong in the desert.
you don't belong here
with me anymore.

Thank you for always being here,
when I needed you the most.
When I asked you to come over,
you were there in a matter of minutes and most days,
you even brought your best friend Anxiety,
so we wouldn't be alone.
Some days,
you asked if you could stay over,
because you were all alone and really needed a hug.
My reply was a of course,
I know how it feels like to be alone in this world.

But now,
now you will not leave,
no one else wants you and I'm stuck here with you in my bedroom.
I don't remember how it felt like,
before you came around and it is like having a best friend you just can't be apart from.
It is weird because sometimes I hate you,
other times I can't live without you.
You can make me feel so important,
yet so dead and I wish I did not have to say this,
but dear Depression,
I think it is time for you to leave.

(e.k.j.)

I am the phantom
That walks through the halls
Of your sad, empty mind.

I am the spirit
That reminds you, endlessly,
Of the reality you left behind.

I am the ghost*
That keeps you awake and afraid
Of facing another pitiful day.

Today I learned that
humans are 99.9% genetically identical to one another.
That's an awful lot isn't it?

So please forgive me for having these mud-colored eyes of mine.  
For I know you cant compare them to something beautiful
like the fresh waters off the coast of Venice
Or to the first leaf of spring exposed after the final layer of ice thawed off.

Please forgive me for having this unruly curly hair
which you can never run your fingers through unless
you are okay with the amount of time it takes to untangle your fingers
from the mess I carry upon my shoulders.

Please forgive me for not having English be the first language to roll off my tongue.
I know I pay the cost when I cannot find the right words to express
how deeply I am in love with everything that is you.

But darling, if you must know one thing, know this:

Every cell in my body craves to show you
how infatuated I am with you.
This heart beats so loudly whenever you are near
it's a wonder it hasn't broken the ribs which enclose it.  
My fickle brain goes back and forth between
wanting you and needing you.
But there is no need to worry, my love.
I always manage to steer it in the right direction.

And because of all this,
I will never fear the day when you will no longer love me
because if everything within my skin loves you this deeply,
I know everything you carry inside feels the same way
because
today I learned that
humans are 99.9% genetically identical to one another.
That's an awful lot isn't it?

It's hard not to love you
And I know it should be easier now that your gone
But in truth it has only gotten harder
It's like you have knowingly trained me to miss you
And all this hot weather has got me wanting to take a swim in your eyes
Craving the affection I never really received
I imagine that I know what your lips taste like
It's like watching someone eat something you are allergic to
And you have never had it yourself, but you imagine it's wonderful
Loving you was the easiest thing I ever did,
Even when it was hard it was easy
Loving you was like breathing
I am watching you fall in love with her and
I am watching her fall in love with you
And while I am watching you fall in love with each other
All people can do is ask me if I am okay
This world is no place for people with hearts
Not when we give them away so easily
And yet knew this and still loved you
I loved you anyways