Loving you was a great idea
But baby,
We forgot that God has better plan.

It's alright,
You'll be fine.
I'm always here,
Everything's going to be just fine.

"Aku dah penat dengan hidup aku,
korang tak penat ke dengan aku?"

Life is unfair, comical but
beautiful as a whole.

Is there such thing
as feelingless?
If yes,
where can I have one?

Stronger, they said.

No tears from the eyes,
Only the bleeding heart
That’s all left.

The silence,
The hidden emotions,
And, something inside me is broken.  

A soul with mixed emotions,
Occupying the skulls
Just to continue living this endless life

And begging God to bring lights,
feeding the spirit’s craving emotion.

"Tuhan wujudkan kegelapan supaya kita boleh nampak bintang."

Love is a feeling that doesn’t necessarily need to be in every one of us,
but in each moment of our life.

Beautiful,
I say that million times when I see your name.
It really fits you though.
I fell the first time I saw that brown eyes of yours.
I had tried my best to avoid any feelings but you're just perfect to me.
Is this what they called, love at first sight or is it just an infatuation?
I wonder.

I wish you were the sun that could keep me warm
I wish you were the moon that brings me the light
Then I realized
you were neither
but a rainbow
that stay with me
only after cloudy days.

I saw you posting about your feelings.
Sorry for not understanding the meanings of your words earlier.
My hands are eager to reply but scared if you would just ignore me.
I'm trying to show you my concern,
Because I'm scared of losing someone like you.
Not because of the feelings I have,
but because you have something
that is hard to be found in others.
I hope you're okay there.
You think too much that it brings you to the feelings of regretting and all.
All I want is just, you'll be fine there.

Where are you going?
I put so much efforts to catch you
But it went in vain.
Since this evening,
I've seen you nowhere.
Are you okay?
Why are you leaving me with only a soul?
All this time, we had been together.
You gave me experiences.
You created me either good or bad.
And suddenly, you just went away without goodbye?
Oh **** you, feelings.
Now, I understand what they meant by feelings faded.

My first love was a flower.
He cheered me up with the beautiful petals he had.
I hope he knew that I was really happy back then.
The colours of him still stuck in my mind till now.
I was the water that gave him freshness,
But all he needed was lights from the sun.

They say the remedy to happiness is
By staying low and love everyone equally.
What if I had done that and yet, sadness still haunt me?
Who should I blame for?

How can you make a curve on your face when you know
Inside you is a chaos?
The curve on your face giving others less burdens
While nobody knows how heavy the burdens you're carrying.
I wish I could carry the burdens I have as easy as how I smile to others.

Freedom doesn't define happy,
And love isn't only for some.
Like a salmon,
You came and went away,
Leaving me without notice.
You sacrificed yourself
And turned into dust.
Here I am, asking if it is worth?

You are the only one I'm waiting
But I keep restraining myself from getting to you.
You're so high that I can't even reach with my hand.
Sorry,
If I ever do anything wrongs to you.
Talking to you is the only thing I wanna do all the time.

I have never been missing someone this much,
help me, oh God.
I’m drowning deep in the ocean,
hoping you would come and save me.
I wish you know that I’ll be missing you forever, and it will never stop.

I'm writting because I can't express.
I hope someone understand how much I'm hurting inside.
I'm writting because I'm not okay.
I hope someone someone ask me how am I doing today.
I'm writting because words seem to be helpless.
I hope someone out there virtually care about me.
I'm writting because I can't find the right person to tell.
I hope those who read this have found a person who they can tell everything.

In another life,
may the one with genuine heart
receive more than one gives.

In another life,
may the heart healer
find peace one has been longing for.

In another life,
may the heart breaker
taste one's own actions.

In another life,
may we know each other better,
giving all to understand,
rather than arguments.

In another life,
may we find each other
as soul mates,
not heart healer and heart breaker.

Sincerely,
Jia.

The feelings I have,
Are fading.
Should I be scared
Or just pretending to be fine?

Life is tiring,
I’m either  
surviving or dying.

You're the moon
admired by many stella.
While I'm a dim star that can
only see you from alibi.
There are so many obstacles
which tear us apart.
I'm trying to reach you ad infinitum
but the sun seems to be jealous.
So, I give up and
be one of the dead stars.

At 22
I found out that
life *****.
No matter how hard I look at it,
even from different perspectives
I still find that
life *****
It couldn't get any better,
I had tried,
believe me
I really did.

Here I am,
Thinking what would happen tomorrow.
Hoping it'll  be a better day.
To be honest, I miss home already.
I feel like everything seems to be wronged.
Nothing is right for now.
I can't stop thinking of my lil brother and my mum and my room.
I just want to spend all my life with books.
I wish I could but that's too much.
No one I could talk to, cuz everyone is having their own problems.
So, here I am, writting what's inside me.

I want someone to hug me
And say everything is going to be fine.
Where's my dad when I need him the most?
Had a fight with my mum.
She sent me a very long text and
I just don't know what should I reply.
Why is everyone pushing me?
What's life anyway..
It is not fair to only be happy when you're with people while inside you is in chaos.
I wanna swear alot, but swear doesn't really give anything in return.
I wanna **** myself but it doesn't work that way.
I wanna tell someone how I really feel,
But there's nothing they can do.
I can't take this anymore.
Just why.....
Where can I find pills that can make me sleep forever?

Nothing left inside this broken heart
Whose belong to a broken child.
Some say she's strong that she survives untill now but nobody knows the journey she had.
She only have one faith in her life,
Hoping that one day it will be heard.

From now on,
I'll no longer care what I feel,
Having so much problems makes my heart hardened,
My soul as just a soul,
My feelings fade,
I wish I could have another life,
So, that things like these would never happen again.

Is it that hard to confess?
Oh let me change it,
Is it hard to tell the truth?

I hope you can see how I see you.
Just look at the moon right now
And you'll know,
How bright you are in my life.
You always bring light to me
Especially when my life turns dark.
Just so you know,
You can find me among the stars,
But you can't love me like
How you love that one star, right?

Andai rembulan berhenti menyinarkan cahaya matahari,
Janganlah engkau lupa akan daku,
Memori memori indah kita berdua,
Walau tak seberapa.
Andai pada masa hadapan,
Engkau jauh dariku,
Mohonlah pada Tuhan
Supaya didekatkan kita berdua
Sekali lagi.

I'm sick and no one is willing to treat me.
I'm drowning but no helps from anyone.
I'm lonely cause no one is accompanying me.
I'm broken but there's no cure.
I mean, who am I to them.
I'm just a person who isn't that important in anyone's life.
I come and go.
I don't stay at one place.
Sorry not sorry.

I'm in my room,
Looking for the star,
You're looking at.

We're under the same sky
But different place.
Remember when we said
We're gonna paint the sky with prussian blue?

I was so excited that I bought a new canvas and paints
I saw you at the shop with a girl
But still,
I waited and waited for you
Under that **** place we love to hang out
You didn't show up

So, I used the red colour
To paint the sky
And for a few minutes after that,
You showed up.
You asked me why red?
So I said,
it represents my bleeding heart.

Told myself to stop,
Stop giving love they don't deserve.
Stop pretending to be okay and
Cry whenever I want to.
Carrying this broken heart is much more painful than I thought.
People believe that love can cure,
When don't even know
What real love means.
The word love has been polluted
By those who don't appreciate it.

I always tell myself to let go the past
I know sometimes, it hurts.
But then I ask myself,
What's the point of having the past on your back?
Nothing, really.