I sat down today and thought of a face—
with kind curves and welcoming eyes,
with a smile that could illuminate a space,
and warm the chilled voids betwixt thighs.

So I snatched up a pen and scribbled like mad,
an articulate letter on said visage so divine—
pages upon pages of marvelous musings—
hunger dripping off of each line.

Then my hands finished working, my fingers at rest,
observing my mess of inked letters and blots.
One simple message derived from it all:

**“You’re in my inappropriate thoughts.”

Eyeing the dawn rising from the East
          in the back seat of a car
The mist from the fields fills the country roads
        with precious calm
Time has slowed to a sweet molasses flow,
like the hovering mist
        over the road
She plays a lullaby of Bow and Arrows,
          a broken guitar
Behind her,
         I wrap my arms
around her shoulders, holding her gently firm
       in my heart
Softly singing to her ear
through a tangle of auburn hair,
over the mountains and
        under the stars
as the illuminated plum purple starts to glow blue orange, we drive
           for the dark

It fills me with apathy.
for a love that cannot be.
A reality we must force ourselves to see.
And a choice we must make to live happily.

Despite this strife that plagues our life.
Its time to sit down and lose this fight.
Cause we’re out of ways to make that plight.
I will forever feel that love when I look onto your eyes but must know that its not right.

So this is what I will do,
pick up the pieces of my heart that were broken and smashed a million times by you.
Let the pieces take their time to fall into place,
so once again I have a base,
from which to stand from which to dive,
so I can feel alive and re learn to thrive.
I don’t wanna know what it feels like that final time you go.
Casue I imagine it being the lowest of low.
I guess that’s why im still holding on,
to that little part of you that makes me feel strong.
And gives me some reason to carry on,
for the hope that we might one day be together.
In a realm beyond forever,
I cant settle right now for ‘never’ and yet the latter is too far away,
it scares me to know the opposite has to be the way
I will be creating my experience in this day to day,
meanial existence.

This is the beginning, life has been setting the stage and creating lessons for me to overcome and they have led me to this point, this harmonious balance of fun and change, of inspiration and strength. I’ve fallen down, and those who pushed me there were the hands to pull me up. I’ve lost, and in that misery found a certain peace in knowing nothing more could be taken away.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I’m just now dusting myself off. The sunlight is coming back into my eyes. Burning that hole of darkness, but I don’t want to look away, not this time. Not to fall into the societal trap of striving for mediocrity. I want more for the world I’m living in. I want all of us to reach for the wildest possibilities that our minds can imagine, not just me, not just you. There’s a place I’ve seen in a trance of waking dream state that could be this place. We just have to stop letting the distractions get in the way.

Our egos feed on extrinsic desires but stuff is stuff and people are souls. They are connected to us through the energy of consciousness that is invisibly surrounding us all the time. As out minds get fat from satisfactions of the worlds obsessions, it gets harder to feel this energy of connection. But I guarantee, it is there, and when others feel it, or see it, there’s no way they can forget it; and do everything in their power to spread the awareness of it.

We are not above nature we are nature. Ahisma: for all living creatures. Redefine need from want; convenience from importance; innovation from destruction; oil from energy; and love from obsession. Replace ignorance for understanding, and not just that but a desire to know. Replace trickery with clarity, when you lie to others you’re only lying to yourself. Only then, can we have unity, and unity, is the only thing that will work to change anything. Once there is unity, there is Love; the most powerful force in the universe.

I have mentioned before, that a person doesn’t have to ‘stand for’ the same thing that I stand for, I appreciate uniqueness and difference. Just so long as you see A FLAW in the world around us and YOU ARE personally trying to change it. I see many flaws, but I can’t change them all, I can only do what is in the realm of my possibilities. That sounds like a limiting statement, but in fact, I have not yet found what the limit of my possibility is. It is only when you push the boundaries of reality that you discover how malleable they really are.

        “If you can dream it…” what is the dream? Equality, harmony, free energy? It is everything that will allow us to flourish in peace. It is more of a feeling than a word. Minds get conditioned not to think big, the future mother earth needs is so far from where we are that it feels overwhelming. Like looking at the stars, and trying to grasp the universe with our mental capacities. Use your heart instead. When you look into the windows of each other’s souls, do you feel you want War? ****? Pain? Death Through Suffering? Toxic Chemicals injected into the Atmosphere, the Water, the Ground? Why keep doing this. Focus not on where it comes from, but on what we together can do to fix it. What does your paradise look like? How can we get there.

Smell of fear fills the air,
and i start to walk faster.
The same anxiety a wounded fish feels when it knows a shark is nearby.

Some nights,
I just feel so small...
And I don't know
what to do
with myself.

I don't know whether or not
I should laugh
         or have a really good cry.

I feel like a gray area
trapped in such
a beautifully colored world.