Hear the drum in my heart
It goes bang when it can

And in my heart I see you
And I race against myself.
I forgot how to dance

With your red dress
And the the mousse in you hair,
I am just helpless.
Helplessly falling out of love

Wishing it wasn't so,
I thought about our future,
But I saw someone else.

Sent Jun 29th, 12:10am

i just want someone to want me
to fall in love with my personality
and not the temporary
aspects of me

pink hearts and red flowers are easily handled
movie tickets and sun exposure
in the name of seeing one another
for a little bit longer

dinner dates and meeting my mother
holding each other for hour upon hour
under the impression that things
might be okay

and my ribcage is disappearing
underneath layers and layers of good intention
and i can feel the masks withering and cracking
and i am scared

as i stand, naked, before a full length mirror
i look at myself in confusion
and i desperately search for why
in every crease and line
throughout every dimple and bone
in between the spider veins and stretch marks
pale skin and scars
this isn't beauty

as i lay, naked, in the warmth of your arms
i look at you with sincerity
and i calmly understand why
in every crease and line
throughout every dimple and bone
in between your blonde hair and blue eyes
pale skin and scars
this is beauty

God
Dear God
Oh Lord
Heavenly Father
My Messiah
Lord in Heaven

I haven't felt


this

good

in
years

I'm a woman who just escaped the depths of a cave and felt sunlight on her skin.

I haven't felt like this about someone
since I was young
and believed that true love existed
and that once I met him I would know.
We would live in a castle in the sky
and hold hands
and laugh until our lungs caved in.
This mystery man of mine


But you

oh you

I can't help it
I've fallen for you
so deeply to the point where I don't recognize myself

This is the person I used to be
when I wasn't hardened by harsh words
and tainted smiles.

What did I do to meet you?

Which stars aligned to where I allowed to know you?

It was an accident
a simple click of a button
and a small interest

And yet
I feel so hopelessly dedicated to this relationship

God you

You

I just

I can't say it

But I will