Your bliss turns to blues.
You're in the bottom
but now you know
your only way is up.

Your warmth turns to drought.
You can pour gasoline
in the dying fire inside of you
to feel warm again.

Your love turns to lost.
You may have lost in love
but in the first place,
you found it.

They say, the only thing
that is constant is change.
But can bliss, warmth, and love
be constant........ for a change?

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

I know you aren't here,
but that's not going to stop me from looking for you.

I'm still going to sit here glancing at the door,
hoping you will walk in.

And now i'm realizing the fact that it all comes down
to the person you look for in a crowded room.

Yeah, that's who you love.

B.K.

Trying to get
over someone
you never had?

Yeah,
that's the worst
kind of struggle.

B.K.

she was war,
a collection of cuts and old scars,
armored in the pain of her past,
bones of ash and thorn.
blood like spilled scarlet wine
splashed across the bathroom floor,
she cried alone—
unseen,
unknown.
but for all the tears, she rose to her feet
and sat upon her barbwire throne
for these bones still ache,
this body still bleeds,
these lungs still breathe,
and this heart still beats,
still beats,
still beats.

— my heart is not a home for cowards

Scratch by scratch
The knife is marking my wrist
Tears are streaming down my face
But I feel numb.

Scratch by scratch
I keep leaving shallow scrape on my shin
Tears are streaming down my face
It's starting to hurt.

Scratch by scratch
There's a reddish stroke lining my spine
Tears are streaming down my face
I'm finally alive.