more difficult than
threading a camel
through the eye of a needle.
If unable to maintain contractual obligation
(meaning being delinquent
with timely monthly payments)
our 2020 Hyundai Elantra
will be repossessed.
Though totally aware
when ghost in the machine
a MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015)
rendered said laptop locked courtesy malware,
which unfortunate circumstance
launched an avoidable fiasco,
I foolishly erred and dialed
the number that flashed
with unbeknownst sinister implications.
Lemme preface details of scoundrels who preyed on obliviousness blindly ensnared in scam by informing thee dear reader of the fact that I take nine prescription medications (for severe social anxiety, mild depression, and palmar hyperhidrosis), and often feel (dazed and confused) in a heavily drugged stupor.
The following summary presents the scenario copied/pasted when details initially whipsawed psyche of mine with horrible feeling of being duped, and utterly reckless and absent at oblivious to red flags.
All sense and sensibility went out the window on what began as an ordinary Tuesday, where writer of these thought of death wish.
I already filed a police report after being bilked for above mentioned funds, which incident occurred encompassing the dates June 20th and 21st 2023, whereby an Apple tech impersonator scared the dickens out of me by claiming Macbook Pro replete with countless Trojan Horses, computer viruses, malware, et cetera, and mislead me to withdraw cash out checking and savings accounts then going to the nearest ATM to convert cash into bitcoin cyber currency vis a vis courtesy creating easy to pluck virtual pursestrings thru My Wallet.com. Said funds siphoned immediately into the coffers of hucksters.
Effusiveness coursed thru my every pore regarding glimmer of optimism recouping all or part of the monies adroit bamboozler (scammer) finagled courtesy prestidigitation. He wove a fabrication, whereby Citizens Bank employees supposedly schemed (courtesy stealth me) to scoop up rightful capital constituting checking and savings of yours truly.
Matthew Harris courteously, imploringly, and quiveringly asked divine omniscient wizard if he could initiate a line of communication with your head honcho to present synopsis (see following paragraphs), whereby obliviousness to being exploited (to extract life savings - like taking candy from a child) predicated and linkedin to mindset on the date of June 20th, 2023.
Unsure how Macbook Pro (the computer utilized here and now) got hacked, but while perusing innocuous poetry website, a ghost in the machine suddenly, and unexpectedly disallowed me to proceed with any further activity. A warning message and contact number showed up which specific details no longer recalled. Even after turning off the laptop, and then turning said trusty Apple product (par excellence) back on, the same ominous warning reappeared.
After hesitantly dialing the number (out of service at this juncture), the following ruse coalesced.
We initially spoke late morning on the former aforementioned date after Macbook Pro rendered inoperable. As mentioned, no matter I turned off computer then turned machine back on again, an ominous message with contact number appeared to flicker on the screen rendering any processing impossible.
Fingers nervously dialed 331-307- 4900 (as iterated above number no longer in service) what supposedly fronted as Apple Technical facility. A alternate number (559-421-6744 also now no longer in service) also utilized.
Nevertheless, upon answering at the other end, said impatient impersonator, and impious imposter reeled off an immediate recitation of countless Trojan Horses, computer viruses, malware, et cetera supposed populated Macbook Pro, which prognosis scared the dickens out of me lest all private date compromised.
In order to resolve computer issues (in retrospect those **** bugs most likely planted, when he or his cohorts hacked laptop - I thought safe and sound with relevant protection) then convincing con artist barked out the following commands.
As directed (as if figurative gun held to my head), I drove to two separate Citizens Bank branches; one in Limerick, Pennsylvania and another Trappe, Pennsylvania roamed across riches and took out goodly sums; $ MMMC, $ MMMMCM, and $ IXD at either former or the latter site over the course of two days.
Said key player employing artifice repeatedly warned me to be attentive (keeping cell phone of mine turned on (cuz clerks might exhibit over friendly behaviour regarding said plan extorting money as a mode to distract me), and thus wise to keep mum lest tellers become privy to getting nabbed.
Truth be told, I take nine prescription medications (for severe social anxiety, mild depression, and palmar hyperhidrosis), and often feel (dazed and confused) in a heavily drugged stupor, which state of mind being comfortably numb rapaciously, necessarily, and hopefully helps explain how said drugs contributed to submissive foggy mental health condition.
A short time after stepping out the door (here at apartment b44 - highland manor apartments to track whether I happened to be following instructions), his calling on landline (to keep tabs on me) location showed Comerica Bank (1-800-266-3742) in Michigan.
After exiting the first and subsequent second Citizens bank branch (June 21st, 2023), I maintained regular dialogue (using cell phone 267-643-7315) with "Harvey Specter," who then instructed his thoroughly conquered, connived, and convinced subject (me) to drive to MP gas station; location 125 Gravel Pike, Collegeville, PA 19426.
Once there, whereat ATM machine accessed, and all the cash converted into bitcoin cryptocurrency, and virtually stored in MyWallet.com, which process (for reasons that seemed logical and believable at the time) also entailed scanning/photographing my license.
Upon returning to said man cave, an uneasy non peaceful feeling arose. Hunch validated after dialing Crypto currency toll free number 888-897-9792, and got told all monies liquidated, hence I filed a police report despite capturing culprit an exercise in futility.
Fingers and toes crossed (to no avail) after professionalism sought to affect a desirable outcome, and since that fateful fiasco finances never bounced back to a satisfactory dollar figure.
I now append a poetic endeavor that did recaptcha dire emotional straits linkedin to the unconscionable spectre of Harvey Specter or so he falsely called himself.
A diabolical, inimical, piratical,
and venal worm,
whose cut throat devious shenanigans
found yours truly to squirm;
his addiction to money (mine)
sated until he ****** me dry
analogous to nicoderm,
yet impossible mission
to smoke out the most minute germ
converting life savings of mine
into bitcoin cyber currency.
Horrible reality of being hoodwinked,
preyed upon human vermin
immediately upended high jinxed mien
floundering ten thousand leagues
under the cyber sea
analogous to Titanic submersible.
I always feel myself surprised
to what length con artists (scammers)
expend themselves, when they
(he, she) could be
productive citizens of society.
In plain English,
yours truly got blindsided, extorted
interrogated, needled,
tricked, and frankly zapped
courtesy fobbing off
honest to goodness verity
springing from computer malware
kickstarting me to be virtually robbed
in broad daylight
with the fullest consent of
self anointed aspiring poet,
(steeled against irony
as if liberating money
in both saving
and checking accounts – two of each
emptied out as if expunged funds
belonged to somebody else),
when delivering a sucker punch
that cost me more than
thirteen thousand dollars
inviting such thoughts
to overdose on prescription medication.
Hence, the shonda rhyme
of utter literal pennilessness
decries hatred linkedin
proclaiming scathing wretchedness
upon the talking head
(with a clipped dialect)
ensnaring unsuspecting victims
(lower case in point -
writer of these words),
when Macbook Pro laptop
got rendered non functionally disabled
thank you ghost in the machine,
wherein reigned indubitable chaos.
Hence, loss of nest egg
(found me cracked up)
regarding resultant monetary liquidation
fall of the crowded house ushered
disquisition without hesitation
briefly describing my death
originally due to fetal positioned
congenital psychological affliction
and today's painful aggravation,
when countless Benjamins
gussied up as hobgoblins
joined human league
averse to plaintive benediction
thence, this with mine jetblue
skinny legs like a chicken
his (mein kampf) got dealt mortal
(who gives a hoot) blowfish
rem mains disintegrated
by mailer daemons usurped dereliction,
whereby sanity given eviction
in the subsequent fiction
that makes feeble attempt
to evoke stricken gumption,
where eons ago nihilistic thoughts rode
roughshod to wreak humiliation
upon prepubescent initiation,
whereby the antithesis of jubilation
kept the author (yes, yours truly)
like a trapped mouse
in a cat protected kitchen,
where no cheeses cur heist
could rectify or bring libation.
Noah hide dee ya what mailer daemon
possessed this earthlinked
live nada so hotmail
to splutter so much persiflage
as evidenced above and in the following.
Ye might well categorize
the palaver as pure llama
heaped dung attempting
to sneak into yar consciousness
as some esoteric badinage aspiring
to convey that this doodler
with words adroit
with the english language.
Temptation to bid fare thee well
bah humbug anguish
cuz down the gullet goes lethal drug
e'en without any farewell hug
after smacking lips polished
off deadly drink from mug.
Within reverie long fostered hankered freedom
at last attained to exit silently
terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid
during hulu heralded century 21,
which would deliver
(ants sir) rectifying eternal senescent deliverance.
Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness
and goodwill toward men/women
served as a mere pretense
extant the global arcade.
Nothing boot charade, enfilade
(albeit with limp poetic/
prosaic pugnacious), facade,
gilded hilariously inside *******.
Ever since he kickstarted lifelessly,
his noggin oddly plunged quietly
resting as a deceased shutterfly
tonight under vaporous wisps
as somber mood prevailed
amidst the cloistered silence imposed from
the shunted cremated preference
re: symbolic (logical)
figurative burial of Matthew Harris
subsequently reincarnated as soft dust.
Potter's field here I come,
one harried styled swiftly tailored
faceless book earthworm member
joined the rank n file
of his slimy brethren n cistern
when a mortal male
(crushed courtesy cruel
cockamamie crime) ceased
to live June twenty first
two thousand twenty three.
I foresaw how miserable fate worse than death
resolved, albeit at loss to kith and kin
of beloved brother, father to deux
darling grown daughters and husband
since July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
now left destitute and widowed.
Immune to antics of scallywags,
the grim reaper undertook requisite business
and swung a his scythe with effortless breath
and started coffin.
He exhaled little billows of cold air
while awaiting the hearst
carrying lifeless body
of none other than me doppelganger.
Prior to imagined demise, I took special pains
to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.
A mossy glen with a mill by the pond
of my boyhood swimming hole
served like the ideal welcome mat
for the return of this native son
long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.
At pinnacle of storied fame
death struck (with welcome arms) unexpectedly
while dodging the madding crowd
off hucksters, punsters,
and xenophobic bummers
jostling to get a glimpse of renown author,
where paparazzi seemed
destined to track me down.
As the advocate of countless essays
on inalienable rights
for all creatures large and small,
no pause from the hounding
local populace offered peace of mind.
Until now!
The prospect of dying
never scared this non-believer.
Cessation of consciousness
essentially served completion of life
in corporeal form
and reconstituted physical being
into grist for other organisms to flourish.
Karma and glorious unique characteristics
comprising each of our respective charisma,
dogma, and persona
(generally comprising an enigma
to the world) absorbed
after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.
Brief occupancy on this terrafirma
as inscribed in genetic code
(merely a blink of an eye
in the universal schema)
gave this now deceased dreamer
notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.
One need not globe trot
(and boast of espying exotic places),
but could experience inner harmony
by imbibing the present.
Simple pleasures that abounded
in the wild or evoked via creative imagination
of august writers supplied
ample sustenance for satisfaction.
Contemplative and introspective mien
prompted Eros to be discerned
in the grand canyon of Mother Nature
in tandem with personal motive
to indulge like-minded thinkers
since the beginning of time.
Any given day frequently found thoughts
turning over every figurative
jagged rolling stone
when the veiled, shrouded, cloaked...
characterization invoking angel of death
might silently spring a surprise visit,
which metaphysical thought
interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.
Why?
Upon termination of enjoying existence
in living color, the eradication
of this pet peeve of mine i.e.
anxiety/ panic attacks
interwoven with inxs
of obsessive compulsive behavior
would dissolve into basic elements
of earth, wind and fire.
No iota amount of matter
marshaled the non-entity dimension
would assume command.
Those former psychological trials
would thence be relinquished
from their parasite role
and recompose cells
of one mortal man (me)
into matter to be recycled
into raw materiel
for other organisms to feast upon.
Basic constituent cells
of **** sapien in question
would become necessary seeds
for some other manifestation
for plant or animal development.
Godaddy maggots sans fancy feast,
a best buy per this former
foo fighting beastie boy,
whose nihilistic outlook
promulgated within his in utero psyche.
Gestation as an embryonic fetus,
the potential live, googly eyed,
earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy
harbored no oshkosh bug gosh
pinterest to remain
in the world wide web of bad company.
Hence, nothing could mollify measly
mumbling linkedin kibitzer,
albeit progressive matchless
who unwittingly opened
the red box of Pandora.
Molecular features
would assume novel combinations
thru said degradation of flesh,
yet improvisation of biology
would wield wasted corpse
that once epitomized an articulate,
civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate,
kind male into novel marvels
of unpredictable genus and species.