It was the same during his time
His blood came from a bottle
The shape was the same
The cork
But he could not live by its memory alone

The further he descended into feeling
The less engaged he became
He could only observe
A ******
But he could not live if he could not love another

He drew every wall near to his hands
As they gestured aloud
His voice listened
A thought
But he could not live if it did not matter to anyone

He was a canvas for every person he met
He remembered their smiles
More so their tears
A reflection
But he could not live if he judged them wrongly

The birds and the breezes of a moment
Like so many people I came to know
Living long enough in my sight for love
But leaving without planting seeds that grow

Flags at half-mast from a grateful nation
I thought the same of a long lost friend
There is more than one who knew me well
But without a goodbye my past left with them

We’ve kissed so many people without thought
We remember now how it hurts so much
All that remains are the vacations you loved
You rescued them from the ruins of his touch

All of your feelings are ready to cope  
You like the view but the distance is better
We really feel these things the same way
I can prove it if only you would come closer

Every day we don’t speak
Every day you make me think
Another day disappears in the past
What was good
Is what you’re trying to ****

Every day I think the worst
Every day I think I had you first
Another day no longer lasts
What was good
Is no longer your will

It’s a wall that I started
But you finished it so well
I thought I heard a drum
But it was only silence that fell

There’s nothing we didn’t say
Nothing we didn’t feel
Now I feel nothing from you
Only a dream that once was real

Your heart  beats easy no matter what
You accept life as it comes
But I can’t believe how being so far away
Makes me feel life more than when you were near

It’s a wall that I started
But you left it for me to climb
I touched each side asking for mercy
All I see are voices you painted on my mind

You pray every day thanking him while you cry
Angels live because hope draws clouds in the sky
We believe they are only there to make it rain
You watch for signs that your life is not in vain

You’re not afraid to admit it if only they believed
You know you can love as much as what you received
Every leaf you turn over once had roots so deep
Someone is wondering too about memories you keep

I put you through all that
I couldn’t believe you were serious
I kept thinking about who I am
Instead I never saw who you were

I put you through all that
You believed in me for a moment
Now I know what happened
Only being friends is more than I can bear

You love anything that moves with the moon
Low tide means love will join you soon
But washed over footprints in the sand
Are the memories when I held your hand

I put you through all that
I couldn’t believe you were serious
I kept thinking about who I am
Instead I lost all that you were

I put you through all that
You believed in me for a moment
Now I know what happened
Being apart is not a life we can share

Something is wrapped tightly all around me
Though I am allowed to move freely
I can see the stars
Feel the wind at my face
And even smile at a stranger
But my footprints are washed by my chains
Though the key  is on the table
It fears no use or loss
For I willingly live within the confines of choice

Where a day must end with accomplishment
A night begins with longing
And what I may one day find of my myself
Is a trail that only I know to find
But will never walk again
And peace that arrived at the same time
That the trail did end

I don’t want to talk about why everybody’s angry
I don’t want to think about why they lose sleep
They’re running away from love instead of hate
Nobody’s worrying about promises they should keep

Would everyone say something if we got together
They see the differences the world can’t get over
But I only see your smile, it’s the same as mine
I’m not going to be looking over my shoulder

You think about these things
I think about them too
Worrying about the world
Is not something we should do
We’re just killing time
Instead of living free
If you want to be different
Then just talk of love to me

I want to love you like my children
And forgive you like I forgive them
I want to know tomorrow is ours
The way I know tomorrow is theirs

Why do you want to be part of a world that hurts you
You want to fight back and show them you’re strong
But I see your beautiful heart and it’s so lonely inside
It’s time to find a new world where we both belong

You think about these things
I think about them too
Worrying about the world
Is not something we should do
We’re just killing time
Instead of living free
If you want to be different
Then just talk of love to me

It’s clear to me what I’m doing
I’m waiting for something to happen
Waiting for love to introduce itself
Waiting for my soul to walk in

I don’t feel alone so much
Just wondering if this is the way it will be
I know so much about my own life
But what about the days standing in front of me?

I don’t know if I’m planting or harvesting
Or am I a ghost town with memories nobody can guess?
Every time I played the fool I stayed awake alone
But those times are gone and I’m still the same

I wonder if anyone loved me like I loved them
When we sail on we can only see what sets
I’ve been told more than once about living alone
But my dream remembers what yours forgets

I don’t know if I’m awake or asleep
Or is it that I’m not trying like I did when I was fearless
Every time you played the fool I stayed awake alone
Those times are gone because you won’t call my name

How many of us know where we’re going?
We only know where we’ve been
And where we hope to begin again

One time there was a love of the life
But that was when I was young
There was nothing to feel but strong

Days are nights with the light turned on
I can walk straight if I can see
But I can’t sleep if you’re not next to me

Some folks make it in spite of themselves
Something finally reached them
They don’t put anything above their friend

We think it gets easier the longer we’re alone
We are shadows of our own making
But my dreams know I’m the one who’s faking

Nights are days with the light turned off
I can’t walk straight if I can’t see
But I can if you’re sleeping next to me

You might say it’s not too late for tomorrow
Are you ever late if it’s not your time?
But tomorrow won’t wait in yesterday’s line

I wanted to burn like a wildfire in your forest
You didn’t understand so you held me back
You thought I would make your green leaves black

A dream knows about day and night
It tells me the way things ought to be
But how can I see without you next to me?

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when
so many long to be free of this cage; could
it be only when selfishness knows no boundary,
or when each season arrives, cleansing the
past of its hold on our dreams

Is it when I wish to be what I cannot see;
nothing more than honest cry; as a baby
would only know, without remorse or
foresight

Is it when I can only be what is real that
I wish to be, the unseen senses in silent
purpose and longing without pretense

Is it when I wish to be only in turbulent
flow; in horror and shame, because of
what I know to be true of this life

Is it when I wish to be in a constant state
of inspiration; walking with nature;
without conversation excepting my eyes

Is it when I wish to be sad without laughter
or lightness, raw nerved; expressed in
pained fullness

Is it when I wish to be of you, to mingle your
pain with my own; to see your heart and
it’s ugly stain of life; cracked and imperfect

Is it when I wish to be, alone in my walk; to
know what I am; dove or rock; kindness or
unfeeling;

Is it when I wish to be what cannot be touched
by another's hand; a living soul, a pure spirit
and nothing more, living in my own land
without fences or title

Is it when I wish to be involved, not entertained;
original in thought, unexplained; piercing your
skin not for a night but even after I am gone

Is it when I wish to be myself but open, full
of energy, honest in pure emotion; an actor yet
real; a poet yet grounded; an artist who believes
in despair as much as in hope

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when I
can thank God no matter how I long for love;
no matter that the life of my father is over; no
matter that the world does not care for my
questions or my pain; tell me is there a time?

Did you know that being honest is ok?
Not running away
Not pretending
That is only for those who are not honest
Because they can’t
They are afraid
But there is no difference except one thing
You are able to be afraid
And they are not
They cannot say these things out loud
Because they are afraid
While you are not
But how can that be if you are afraid
It’s only about something
Not being something
It’s not always about  being afraid though
It’s about ideas
Or trying something
It’s not worrying about what they think
It’s a test for them
Do they know you?
It’s time that they accept the changes
You won’t let it happen
Not to be who you are
You’re not going to think as a man or a woman
Only as who you are
Then they will know
You can still love who you wish to love
The way you wish to love
And they will know
But they won’t know what to think
Because you’re not afraid
Because you’re honest
Some people only speak with their voice
Their heart is silent
As is their soul
But yours are about to come alive
To use your voice
Not be ruled by it
You are not going to  be afraid to say it
That you loved them
That they hurt you
You are going to write something
It’s how you feel
That’s why it’s honest
You are going to no longer worry
What you feel
They feel
You are going to be able to say it
Because you’re honest
And you’re not afraid
They never knew that about you
Now they do
They'll be ok

I know you are real
My eyes tell me so
And how I feel when you go
There is nothing to question
No mystic force to know
Only what your heart will not show
I would rather smile than cry
But until love becomes more than woe
My tears will only travel paths of long ago

When I look back
I know I was crazy
The things I did just to love you
Are things I can’t believe are true

I was climbing out of windows
And locking doors behind me
It was me escaping
But it was you I was chasing

Memory  Memory  Memory

If you can remember
Whatever you’ve found
Is not what I’m about
You’re walking ahead
Never looking back
But feeling my eyes
What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
Love wants a crazy life

Now I don’t have the key
But if you were a locked door
You once opened it willingly
Now I can't believe what you’re telling me

Going out on my own
Playing it back in my head
It’s just songs I’m hearing now
I once knew, now I don’t know how

If you can remember
Whatever you’ve found
Is not what I’m about
You’re walking ahead
Never looking back
But feeling my eyes

What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
Falling in love is a crazy life

What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
True love is a crazy life

Memory  Memory  Memory

I saw you by the water’s edge
I was on the other side
I know why you’re looking
It’s the reflection in which you confide

But you’re there for another reason
That’s why your shoes are off
You want to know if it’s cold
I just want to know if it’s soft

I’m not the water baby
I’m not the water
I’m just on the other side
I’m not the water baby
I’m just on the other side

You forgot how to get things started
You’re only thinking about how it might end
I’m not so afraid of losing someone anymore
I just don’t want to hurt another friend

I’m not the water baby
I’m not the water
It just seems that way ‘cause it’s awful wide
I’m not the water baby
I’m waiting on the other side

If you can’t see me for the water
Then watch the sun rise in the morning
If you see a reflection in the light you see
Then you’ll know the water is not me

I’m not the water baby
I’m not the water baby

Don’t be afraid of me
Don’t be afraid of me
Don’t be afraid of me

I gave you love that was all I had
It was almost enough
There was so much between us that mattered
But uncertainty dimmed the light

You were over my head
That's why I talked so much
I wanted to give you a life to believe in
But it took a movie to keep you around

I played a part
I made it easy for you
I made a mistake
I made it too easy for you

Now you look at me that way
I throw stones into quiet ponds
You didn't know how to reach the other side
I never knew it was me who brought it to you

How close to God
How close to love
Could we even think like that
When only sin made it last as long as it did

I played a part
I made it hard for you
I made a choice
I made it hard for you

You can read what a man says;
you don’t have to believe
but what if he says something
you already knew to be true?

Do you wish to discover the meaning of life
or is it just that you need a friend
who already thinks like you?

I called for all the words to gather
but only twenty six letters arrived,
each an island
surrounded by promise
separate but equal
for what was one without another

Except for I

Then I realized it’s the same as a piano,
everything is there that I need;
it’s all up to me

Every person who suffers
and every person who laughs
can never be fully described
until someone decides to make people see

Boys were once ready to be men
but the girls wouldn’t let them

So they crossed the river to the other side

But instead of love
they only found broken glass walls
and grown women smiling, until
they laid on no bed for a bride

Then they find someone;
and love them always,
until they don’t

The tides of emotion rise above us
and we think,
this is it

That’s when you know it’s in God’s hands;
for we weren’t meant to swim
in waters he refuses to part

We live knowing how we feel,
anger, sorrow, joy
and sometimes,
we even know why

Is it our destiny to watch women pass
while we wait to catch their eye;
and what could we say without a word
that they would always remember?

It was how we communicated as children

That we recall
love from afar
the imagination
able to pair
with another
but fired by
uncertainty
not so different
than now

I may never again speak of regret
for what good to a condemned man
or a man who walks freely
as he did as a child

What good would it do?

What good would it do?

Can you tell me?

Take my letters
use them as you will
the answers are all there

I cannot look at them any longer

She once was just another star you drowned in your light
But when our little world stopped spinning
All that remained was the end of another long day
The night sky seemed good only for a long goodbye
Instead it became the light that helped me find my way

I decided I wanted to be in love again
But you said I fell for the first star I saw that night
Maybe what you meant is not what for me to say
There is nothing to regret if the first hello always lasts
And nothing to forget of the light that chased your shadow away

It’s not our opinions upon which we must judge
Sometimes we wish to untie old knots with words that bind
Our hands were left free to choose another place to stay
But what was left of our minds held close our parting
Knowing our spoken words were not how small children play

I never saw it coming
I thought we were in that place together
I knew I’d finally found something
But being with someone who is lost themselves
Is living between perfection and thinking it all might end

I just want to live for a little while
It seems you’re more concerned with dying
If it’s all in God’s hands then what’s left in ours?
I’m watching you live for a future that may never arrive
You’re thinking about how you might you lose another friend

You picked out a flat earth for yourself
You don’t like shadows or horizons
Wherever the sun goes at night
You just invent another one

I never saw it going
But you were just passing through
I felt like a coffee shop on the corner
I made you relax but you longed for more
I said it’s alright you’re still going where I’ve already been

You picked out a small garden for yourself
But you don’t like fences or thorns
Whatever flies away in the wind
Plants itself where love refuses to be born

She was smiling but her head was tilted back
I asked her where she was going?
She said I’m happy but I don’t know what to believe
I told her don’t believe anything
Just believe in yourself

I could love with no strings attached
All she could see was love that was afraid to show
I said we’ll never meet in the middle if you think like that
She said I’m already there, it’s you who won’t let go

Your problem is you like to burn bridges
You’ve crossed so many now they light up the night
I try to keep all my mistakes to myself
Just in case somebody walks the same road I might

I used to pride myself on being to handle my liquor
That was so long ago maybe it means I grew up
I ordered us some red wine
When did I become so cool going out on the town
I just wish my heart could feel the same

I couldn’t love with no strings attached
But I didn’t let my weakness show
She said I was too strong for somebody like that
I said I’m ready for you if only you would let yourself go

They say a poet should not cultivate sentiment
But I will not be wrong to cry with someone
Nor to smile for the fact that we met again
For though I could describe flowers
I’d rather hear your deep sighs
And even if I must wait
I will not be still waters dying under the sun
For if your heart is ever cast before another
I will be there if he walks over it
Telling you never to vow away love
You were made to try again
For your failures are what new rivers seek
Born from tears raining all around you
To fill your heart again before you put it away
Forever
Because what I want is to tell you that I love you
And I don’t care who knows
Or thinks
About how I say it
Or show it

As he walked around the corner
Each silhouette of the past separated
Every transformation of his soul
And though dirt stains everyone
The soil where he began remained under his feet

Through every age
From as a boy to an aging man
A new realization
Each of what he once believed
And now what  it is he must accommodate

Once he knew ignorance
It was as common to him as the sky was blue
Then the truth surrounded him
Like desperate men emerging from the rocks
Ready to ****, if only he knew it came from within

He was saddened by the death of her pet
And the broken mind of a friend
While his own battles raged from behind the rocks
Where the images of man reflect upon one another
And the faith in a real God awaits a true believer

I have fallen inside myself
Though I walk the streets
And speak to my friends
What I say is what I have found
The walls inside my mind
Await the graffiti of my failures
What I say to you
Is only what I say to myself
I am not the answer
I am only a question
For in your life
I only search for mine
And in my life
It has become a search
For the source of your strength

I only lack spiritual guidance
Still I know what please my eye
When I said forget about me
I didn’t mean it
I was trying to grieve
But I didn’t know how
So much has happened
I will never again ask why
The answer is always the same
Life is that way for everyone
It’s just my turn to feel the pain

I  want to see everything in your face
Deep feeling eyes holding back a lake
Tight skin erasing traces of the past
Lips pressed together blocking the air
You nose, ears, everything about you
Like rusty ships in a harbor
Guarded, waiting for their purpose
To be born again without remorse
Every scream, every betrayal
But only you can remember
Because it did not happen to me
How long have you been there?
I can only say, long enough

You can ask me to describe something
But I can only describe the past
Or a dream I once had
You were in it
Though you never knew
You were in it
Because you want what I want
So it was about you
Even though it was about me
All I can say is that what I saw in you
I see in everyone
But it is how you can take it
That is what I want for myself
You are like a flamenco guitar
Making us feel all that we are

You entered my life walking through my eyes
But when you left it was through my heart
I didn’t think anything was more than myself
Until you said I never made you feel more than less

You became every girl that I see kiss
A man that I knew that they loved
I never knew you when you weren’t coming for me
Or leaving just to get away

I didn’t know how
To let you be who you are
We never had a chance
Because I thought I was doing you a favor
I knew you felt that way
But only for a year maybe more
Then one day you realized
You were stronger without me

You entered my life swimming through my tears
But when you drowned I couldn’t save you
I needed you for an instant
And for a moment I was the love you always wanted

I am every man who looks at you
A girl they want to possess
You never knew a time when you weren’t my night
Or a day that I felt might be our last

I didn’t know how
To let you be who you are
We never had a chance
Because I thought you were the lucky one
I knew you felt that way
But only for a year maybe less
Then one day you realized
I was weaker without you

Foot prints in the sand
Traces of the escape
Erased by the tide
What we remember
Remains quietly inside

Hands on the pavement
Traces of their fate
Preserved by what dried
Frozen still every December
By what your life was denied

Candles on the bar
Traces of every mistake
Shadows on their sighs
Beach combing ember
My light by your side

A beautiful woman can make you forget
It’s as if the world never existed
She doesn’t want to talk about it tonight
What’s the point?

The prayers we never heard
The tears we never saw
We only know what someone decided we should know

Great minds **** one another
and those too small to notice

How many men were destroyed
because
they did not have the power

But those who struggle
and lose
are mightier than anyone else

So many stories never told
They were witnesses
But passed over

I wanted to think about what I didn’t know
About who died in the darkness of history
They deserved at least that much
I hate being so accepting of reality
Does it mean I’m crazy like everyone else
Or does dancing keep my soul alive?

They were killed twice
Once when they were alive
And once when someone tried to write a book
But they survived in the minds of those who looked like them

Powerful minds killed the real world
They bury their sins with a smile on their face

Powerful minds died with a dream world

They know

They know the truth

They know what God knows

What we know are the cherry’s we pick
What we want to forget fall, shriveled and spread upon the ground
The legacy they wanted was never spoken
It was too late except the last prayer a man ever thought to say

What do you want to talk about?
Europe’s ****** history
Or art and philosophy
Russia’s ****** history
Or Tchaikovsky?

Anything but the wars started by man

What happened to those murdered before their time?
They did not alter history
They were subsumed by it

Because the nature of man is to assume he lives on a higher moral plane
But the assumption of being given God’s will is only a man who is ready to ****

What a dream once said to me
   is what a dreamer said to you
I hope what I see when I look at you
   is what you see when you look at me
What a dreamer thinks awake
   is what a dream never forgets
I hope what you feel when I touch you
   is what I feel when you touch me
What a dreamer dreams to be
   is inside the dream of another
I hope the way I want to live with you
   is the way you want to live with me
What a dreamer hopes to be true
   is what a dream told me about you

What did I do with it;
what was handed to me without my request,
but a discovery to bring myself to bare; to
perform or be anonymous, a fearful animal;
but first I needed to be fed

What did I do with it;
what was given to me by my demands or else
I would never silence the stark selfishness of
my needs, yes to be angry because I was birthed
without permission, so  tend to me now

What did I do with it;
it was at this point that my life was fully in order;
I was never late, never a disappointment though I
could annoy a dog; a baby; an easy life, I was loved

What did I do with it;
a disturbance, I was to wait my turn, another
baby with the same rapport with my creator;
another outrage, within my soul I learned that
nothing happened with my permission

What did I do with it;
I said a word, then walked with it alongside a
window; looking out, the fact that poor people
existed or that my dog wouldn’t live forever was
not in the picture I thought was real

What did I do with it;
the sound of black bean mambo; no green egg  
could undo what was cooking in the living room  
as the dancing man was too happy to concern
himself with the  loss of his country

What did I do with it;
how can you lose something so vital; to have
in your own image the worlds fears and anger;
the migration of  the heart followed by feet that
only moved to a poor man’s trumpet?

What did I do with it;
you can’t live in someone else’s past; the same
blood flows but the stones move the water in
different directions; every river goes its own
way no matter the headwaters

What did I do with it;
learning to be a part of the world; not to watch
as the sand does wondering how it will be moved
today; but instead to push my  way forward, and
even in retreat knowing I will return

What did I do with it;
loving freely, easily; learning my lessons, as only
love can teach; making promises that failed to
germinate; hearing promises that one day realized
it was a river too

What did I do with it;
a chilly night, a young man, wanting to believe;
he did; but not the way he was taught; whether
faith or grace, it was for him alone to decide; for
what miracle to believe must he choose?

What did I do with it;
the world has now become a game for those
who wish to play; for others a curse; life, all
it’s dreams, in the face of a beautiful girl; yet
even she cries alone for love that did not last

What did I do with it;
it became a plan, to be an adult, for that is what
the baby needed; he never knew that he would
need love as before but it brushed past him while
he held his children’s future tightly

What did I do with it;
time, a commodity that cannot be sold; only taken
for granted; I saw love glance at me from the ship
passing while I washed ashore; the tide never letting
go, the moon all I will ever know

I miss the sky
I know it’s above me,
held in place by angels hands;
their wings, fluttering
rearranging the clouds
and our lives

I miss the sunset
I know it’s before me,
painted by surrealistic bristles;
it’s edges, softened
by the hands of a man
who cried last night

I miss your love
I know it’s in me
passing through my heart;
like a lost puppy
waiting for you
to come claim it

Something that existed
Before nothing
Made something
From nothing
In seven days
Then fooled a man
With a snake
And a woman
Then flooded something
And made it
Nothing
Then gave us something
A spirit
And a son
Who was God
Or was he?
Raised from the dead
Then nothing
For two thousand years
Except a book
In another language
From another land
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
The law
Spoken from your lips
Demanding tithes
Judging
Preaching
Witnessing
Praying
Laying hands
Faith healing
Speaking in tongues
Evangelizing
Lifting up
Right
Wrong
Fear
Yeah
That's a lot of talk
But what does that have to do with me?
Born of the same man
But not the same Mom
Separated
Sent away
Living in the desert
Believing in miracles
Of a ****** birth
Of ascension from life
Further revelation
The final prophet
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
From nothing
Something
Primordial soup
A fish
A monkey
A man
Then death
Then nothing
And you believe
In nothing
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
Which miracle should I believe?
The miracle of a God?
The miracle of life from nothing?
The miracle of my life?
The miracle of yours?
How can I be sure?
How can you?
Yet you are
And I am not
Your assuredness
Leads
My skepticism
Follows
The more you believe
The less I do
Why must I be like you?
Are alms not enough?
Stop shaking my shoulders
Stop telling me I’m going to die
Stop telling me I am not chosen
Stop telling me only idiots believe in God
Stop
I met you forty years ago
Then again
And again
Each time
A difference face
Each time
With the same message
Believe
Don’t believe
It never changes
So stop
Please
I've heard it
I've thought about it
I've felt it
You cannot reach me
Only I can reach myself
I know how bad I can be
I know how I hurt others
I know my capabilities
I know my limitations
I know I need to forgive
And I know how I feel
I know
Ok?
So you live
As will I
Let me follow my path
It will be unspoken
I cannot tell
I will not tell
Maybe you will see
Maybe you will know
So
As you follow your path
While disapproving of mine
And you find yourself
Trippin'
Because you were judging my way
Instead of living your own
You might ask yourself
What does it have to do with him?

It had become so easy for her to say goodbye to a lover
She had become a rose with too many thorns

The melancholy of a guitar lingered always,
playing softly,
as she grew worried about things like intentions

They all walked away because she told them to

When she finally became a flower,
she could only love a man who refused to leave

There was no need to linger on the vine
When it was time for thorns it was time

Growing up one way is hard to forget

That’s what she decided
It was too hard to forget

But still,
she would try
because thorns can only hurt

and that’s not what she wanted to be

Flowers do not grow well in memories made of rice
or ribbons
or promises

But thorns can survive being buried in flesh
and in someone’s heart

Yes it was easier to live that way
Like a rose with too many thorns

Until he picked her for himself

Context is understanding why they did it
Without it emotion is like a shell abandoned by the ocean
Contrast reveals our differences though the water feels the same
Someone noticed my palms
I said how much I sweat depends on the distance between us

A whisper is sweet music like a match that lights easily
But passion is how we know if they are honest
You were once a star that fell from the sky long ago
You finally learned to swim
But the ocean walked away when you weren’t looking

I asked you a question and you asked me why
I said I wanted to touch a white canvas with a brush
But I had to dip the tip into the paint first
You smiled at my hesitance
But someone who lives by the tide is always ready to leave

i write not to remember
what you will never forget
i think thoughts to forget
that you will always remember
we had moments to remember
that we will never forget
we will try to forget
what we will always remember

Pretty girl standing with her man
The world laid out in front of them
Turning on every moment as best as it can

They had their ups and downs,
Drama film makers, circus clowns
Neither of them wrote the soundtrack
But they knew how to walk among the trees
Listening to autumn voices falling all around

I wanted to tell you long before I knew you
Maybe I’m actually living in that time
But then I thought memories are stronger than hope

You know what you want
Skies that long for your touch
Sunsets that pause to look at you just before they set
Sometimes you think you love nature more than love
But rainbows can't make you feel like the day we first met

Pretty girl standing with her man
Was it yesterday or a dream shared between them?
I hoped it was today because it meant you trusted love again

The line in the sand
Once crossed
Is where slaves are made
And there is no return
Behind his back
The line became the spell
And blinded him
To the immoral slow death
The filling of the mind
Not of the calm spirit
But the stress of demand
Deep tension
With no way out
No care for the soul
Or dignity of the mind
Without self-reliance
Instead compliance
Where is the inspiration
Instead drudgery
Where is the purpose
Instead repetition
Where is the peace
Instead turmoil
Where is the love
Instead fear
Where is the happy
Instead depression
Where is the identity
Instead of I it is they
Where is creation
Instead destruction
In the belief we hold
It is to be forgotten
In a state of captivity
Like an animal
Waiting to be fed
It is to be lost upon us
They have bought our life
We wait for our time
To think freely
To speak freely
But we do not dare
We can only hope
That there is still time
Beware ambition
For it is only the few
Instead you will know
Dying of unknown causes
The trail of blood
Cannot be seen
Only felt in fatigue
Not a bent back
Or giant knuckles
But in temperament
As anger grows
While tolerance wanes
But his children smile
Because he goes
And comes
And everything in between
What they only see
Is the food
And the sun
But not in his eyes
They have grown soft
Like running water
But he is swept away
A branch that fell
From the tree he helped grow
Do not be fooled
The eternal life is not here
Do not be fooled
It is not near
Do not be fooled
Not in the sand
Once the line is crossed
Tell your children to run
Run from the line
Run the other way
There is nothing for them
Except to lose themselves
What importance do they pursue
If it is not inside
For no man can provide
If they cross to the other side

It's still me

My memories tell me so
As do the winds that blow
And the lands where I may someday go

Though

Melting ice gathers at my feet
And I feel the fire burning heat

It's still me

Time passing the only difference
Yet what I claim to know now
Will someday be known as my ignorance
As it was when I once thought I knew
Why the winds blew
Over the land where I once grew
Into a life that once was new

When you think of me
Don’t think too much
Except about being strong
Because I love you
And I always will

When you think of me
Don’t think of your fears
Think of our future together
Because I know you love me
Though your heart lies still

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

When you think of me
Don’t think of anything else
Except what it really means
You said you met someone
But what’s empty he’ll never fill

So many times we've waited
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

“Perform all thy actions with mind concentrated on the Divine”

We are free where flowers grow
But if you walk into the garden
Do not send me into the desert

“Blessed are the peacemakers”

You may accept who I am
And you may think freely
You may give me your hand
And you may think freely
You may speak of your wounds
And you may think freely
You may be who you are
And you may think freely

"Renounce attachment"

I am not a preacher of miracles
I only know them when I see them
But knowing of them is not understanding
It is only a miracle if I do not understand
Otherwise it is as common as my failures

“Look upon success and failure with an equal eye”

I am not a wise man
I only gather the words of those who are
For they have opened their minds to others
And the castle has already been built
I must choose to walk within its walls

"Spirituality implies equanimity"

Do you want someone to save the day
Or is the name you know all you need
Is it in his name that you walk
Is it in his name that you pray
But in my own name I see only despair

"I and I is the oneness of two persons"

The deeper you fall into your face
The further away from your soul
It is that you have invested in flesh
And while your mind withers alone
In desperation you watch as you age

“The cause of all suffering is desire”

The only thing I can control is trust
The trust you have in me is my word
The trust I have in God is faith
The trust he has in me is not for me to say

“Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone”

I do not know what it is that he trusts
I am his creation with nothing to offer
There is no need to trust in me
For I have not been asked to make a promise
Only to believe

“We only dream this *******. Wake up and let it go.”

I don't mind if you ask me if I'm ever coming back
If you wasn't worried I'd probably ask the same question
For some reason you think I can't fall in love with anybody
But I can and I did and it's you so you can quit your frettin'

You look at me like you're not sure what you're lookin' at
I can take being stared at but forget whatever's on your mind
You pretty much showed me how much you loved me last night
You can give me the benefit of the doubt 'cause my heart ain't blind

C'mon girl it's gonna' be alright
If you don't believe then it's just a long night
You have to trust something
Somehow
Someway
So why don't you trust yourself
There's something about you that love can't fight

I walked up to the door and saw the peephole go dark
You opened it like I was a stranger you never met
I can't understand how you can live with so much doubt
But I guess the last guy that left is hard for you to forget

I love you baby
It's plain to see
But you ain't lookin'
You see somethin'
But it's not me

C'mon girl it's gonna' be alright
If you don't believe then it's just a long night
You have to trust something
Somehow
Someway
So why don't you trust yourself
There's something about you that love can't fight

I saw you walking
Staring straight ahead
In your wake lay every man
But a common girl you chose to be instead

You lived inside their every eye
A silence that stared to communicate
Your hands clasped in your lap
Instead of riches it is love that you await

The night you wore only your face
Was when you knew your own name
You went into the night unafraid
You decided life was better looking plain

Look at the night sky
What you see are the scars
Evidence of the past
And it was me
I removed what was there
One by one
What remains
Is light
Experience
If only you would see them for what they are

They wait for you
For night
Your night
For theirs is always different
You have a memory
They are your memory
And they will never be anything else
Yet you are able to spend time away
While they point in all directions
Without a compass
Or a purpose

You are not locked in a room
You are walking freely
And every good thing that happens
You must see why it happened

For once
Long ago
There was something in the place of the scars
Something before that was only about you
But now it’s about something else
Something you must share
But I have your past in my hand
Before it all happened
For they were never stars
Instead they are scars
But they smile even though you cannot
I took them with me
The purity you long for
But that is not life
Purity is not life

Only a reminder of what is important

Look at them
Look at the sky
You have lived

The purity is now what guides you
It is in every smile
And there are as many left as there are scars

Every scar is a reminder of what lies ahead
That is why they are bright against the darkness

Just as the chance to be happy contrasts with your sadness

So you have a new boyfriend
How about that
He likes everything you like
At least he’s smart enough to try
Maybe in ten years you’ll know if he was serious

So you have a new lover
How’s it feel this time
I won’t tell him the things you did
Maybe he thinks like I do
He’s the only man  to make you love like you do

Make sure baby
Make sure it’s love
You look too good for honesty
A man will promise anything
To make love to you

So you think you’re in love
How would you know
Loneliness is nothing to compare love to
But if you’re trying to forget me
Look into his eyes, I will be waiting for you there

You can’t make your bed with our sheets
I took them home with me
I didn’t wash them because it’s your memory
I’ll bring them back someday
But first you have to love him instead of me

Make sure baby
Make sure it’s love
You look too good for honesty
A man will promise anything
To make love to you

I don’t even know how I got past your door
I was wondering if I could walk through it
I can’t be the messenger anymore
Just a light at the end of the room
But it’s my shadow that knows what to say

I'm not a road or even a small tower
You can look at me though if you dare
You can go around the side but not know how
Everyone who felt the same way knew why
But everyone with their own mind said nothing

A crowded room has spaces nobody can see
I noticed it one time in a painting
It was a long stretch of land
It seemed like a good place to shoot a gun
But not where spaces hide from one another

Sometimes there’s so little to say to one another
Except which way the money went today
Everybody who digs a ditch wants a window
Everybody with a window wants to open it
I thought the answer came with a bottle

You know you got lost before you started
The sax in the song was too fast for you
It was confusing anyway you heard it
It didn’t add anything to the room
So you left before you even got there

I think I’m gonna’ laugh about it now
Making sense never works for me
No matter how far, they’ve already been there
I thought about writing a song about you
But a long explanation is too shallow
And a short one is always too deep

He didn’t think to write it in a language I could understand
But I wasn’t around so what difference to that kind of man?
Somebody finally decided to tell the rest of us what it meant
But the King’s English confused borrowing and fasting for lent

But then
He whispered
No faith is too great for nails
He whispered
No sin is too large for forgiveness
He whispered
No grave is too deep for a resurrection
He whispered
No prayer is too soft for hearing

The dreamer wrote letters to those that were always awake
Though the distance between then and now changes every day
I became lost not in the words but in how I chose to live my life
I held a promise in my hands but I didn’t know how to pray

But then
He whispered
No rock is too big to move
He whispered
No ocean is too deep to part
He whispered
No bush is too hot to touch
He whispered
No flood is too wide for a dove

I was wondering how old my blood is
I haven’t bled in a long time
At least not on the outside
Maybe I should set some of it free
Free to find another
Another body to love

Say goodbye when he goes off to war
He won’t be what you remembered
He might not talk for a week
It didn’t make him wise
It just made him aware
That’s why his smile is so old

I was wondering how old my tears are
Seems like they are born every day
A gully inside every reason
A reason inside every drop
No particular place to go
Just a scar soon forgotten

Say good morning when she wakes up
The sun in her hair may set too soon
I will have to live with a regret
But I know I will always love her
So when tomorrow comes
My mind won’t feel so old

Closer to my soul the sword of man does sharpen
I cannot fight though my eyes by hate will darken
They dilate because my heart won’t let the light in
If only the tide washed up on the right side

There’s no place for a man with no power to live
What he must take is harder than what he can’t give
The time to repent is the moment you can’t forgive
If only the tide would choose instead of divide

She passes us by
But she doesn’t know we're right here
She’s been living a lie
Taught that perfection will bring her near
Nearer to God  
And all the things this earth cannot provide

The rising night pearl
Inside a giant shell that never opens
Just like a beautiful girl
Our watching eyes like needles and pins
Pricking her skin
And all the things that she can no longer hide

She was a good girl
But good does not always see light
They made her live their life
It became an empty way to live
Even though they told her it was full

She fell into a trap
Nothing left but darkness to avoid
She thought she had a map
They said only the next life could be enjoyed
But she only could see the night
That’s how she knew she's still inside

Her parents called her
They thought she was going to make it
She became a soul they could no longer stir
What her fears came to admit
Scared them
Their desires she could no longer ride

She was a good girl
But she couldn’t smile anymore
Her mother kept asking her why
She was pleasing somebody but not herself
She was a sheep wearing everybody else's wool

We spend our entire life looking for it
Even before we knew life was a search

For
A word that is more than a voice
For
A voice that is more than dream
For
A lens that is more than a vision
For
A smile that is more than a child
For
A feeling that is more than birth
For
A love that is more than life
For
A life that is more than death
For
A God that is more than creation

We spend our entire life playing pretend
Even when we believe we have found it

No further words are necessary
What our eyes say will be enough
The harvested past sustains us
Insatiable to our appetites
How we react is experience
How we feel is knowledge
How we live is what we choose

I want you to know how I feel
In the silence of the same dream
Like seeing your child again
In the laughter of a grandchild
Going back in time
That is why they cry
This is what we know

It’s what I thought anyway
There was a time when I knew
You loved me like no other
I didn’t know about the gift
The gift of someone who could love
But that someone was in a movie
And I’m here reading the credits

The dream was a deeper feeling of emotion
There was nothing to hold it back
No notions of manhood
Or sanity
Or walls to build
Or stones to carry
Only bare feet
And faith in our differences
As shapes of anger and longing float by
But as he looked upon them they changed
And he realized that they did not want to him to know
So instead of looking
He felt their presence
And the room suddenly was full of light
Not because his eyes were filled with the sunrise
But because his soul was awake
Every emotion he had ever felt gathered before him
And none would look upon him
For they could not ask of him what they could not give
And when he finally stood up
He took his time
There was no reason for haste
Or impatience
His life would now forever know
That a dream was the way inhibitions yield to truth
And that emotion is the only way to love

I thought about growing up
Then I remembered
I did that a couple of weeks ago
So now what
I watched my old self
It was a wild girl
I once knew how to handle her
Now I just wanted to raise her
It all seemed so pointless
Getting wasted
Talking about seeing you on the other side
Now I think about slamming doors
I want to tell my neighbor how to change his life
To quietly close a door is power
It is control over the air around you
Because you begin to glide
But I don’t think he can do it
Don’t get me wrong
That wild girl looked so good
You never grow out of that
The problem is she wants conversation
And fun
You have to chase her all night
Who has time for that?
While I was thinking about it
I heard some chords on a piano
Everyone was impressed
But I knew it was a trick
It’s called practice
Sometimes it’s just better to leave
It’s better to be your parents
It’s better to be strong
Standing accused of being an adult
It’s amazing
To wake up so bored
Because there is no dread
No secrets
Everything is in front of you
Nothing is watching
Nothing is behind the bush
Nothing is in my hand
Except the longing to touch you
And that’s just it
I can’t grow out of that
It’s like love is always a child
I thought I’d buried it
I saw the flowers drop into the hole
But then they grew
I’d only planted them
Somebody said you were a nice girl
Yeah
You were
I know that
Wild is wild
But nice is loving a cat
And you did
I wondered if she stared out the window
But I know better
Reflection was not her style
Neither was regret
She’d as soon die on a plane crash tomorrow
As grow to be an old lady
It was all life to her
You just live in the moment
Then see what you got at the end of the day
Then forget it
But I couldn’t live like that
I had to assume I was going to survive
For a long time
I don’t want to beg
I don’t want to live in the cheapest place I can find
But I will
If I have to
Because I have before
Before I grew up
It was only a couple of weeks ago
Or years
Or decades
Or another life
It seems I lived one once
I think you were there
Unless it’s a dream
But there’s too much detail
I never sleep that long anyway
It had to be real
That’s why I grew up
Everything a young man needs
Was inside you
And I was there
Inside
And now I walk away
All grown up
Because you were so wild
And I saw myself on the other side
Emerging from the fog of your crazy world
But it was beautiful
Like a morning cloud in a valley
I was in the valley
Now I’m on a hill looking at the cloud
And I know what’s going on down there
Because you’re still there
Because I am an adult
And I hate it

A glass of Cru does not make one a Frenchman
   Though you feel it in flow through your veins
A pair of Lobbs does not make one an Englishman
   Though you will wish to walk like that again
A silk Armani suit does not make one an Italian
   Though your new style will be your gain
A parcel of land does make one a countryman
   Though you will hear the call of the plain
A part in a play does not make one a thespian
   Though you may know how to explain
A romantic kiss does not make one a husband
   Though she will forever live in your brain
An eagle soaring does not make one a shaman
   Though you see it fly through the rain
But the right woman can make you a gentleman
   And a soul can guide a humble man