You were my first kiss
It’s true
No way around it
But when you kissed me
I felt nothing
Except disappointment
I thought your first kiss
Was supposed to be
Life changing
The best
It just
Felt wrong
Out of place
And almost forced
You kissed me
I didn’t kiss you
You wanted me
I tolerated you
But when he kissed me
My stomach did a flip
There were fireworks
Going off in my mind
He took my breath away
You just took my first kiss
I said I loved you
You said you loved me
I knew it wasn’t true
They were just words
But when he touches my face
And pulls away from my lips
To whisper to me his love
My whole body smiles
Yes you were my first kiss
But he is my first love

I haven't felt this way in awhile
I haven't had any words left in my heart
Each time I sat to write
My soul was vacant
And nothing felt right
Now after all this time
I sit with my laptop on hand
And my words are there
And it feels pure
My lungs finally fill with the air
They have craved for so long
It's been such a dark and lonely road
But with you back in my life
The paradox that somehow
Makes everything feel right
You, the one I thought was gone
You, the one who I tried to forget
You, the one who I did wrong
Giving me a second chance
After all this time
You are the strangest paradox I know
Yet at the end of the day
I can't help but to say
I love you

Dancing alone
With the company of a thousand stars
Dancing alone
Waiting for someone to love you as you are

I’m the midst of a crowd
Always in, but never a part
Sitting to the side
Creating your own art

On the outskirts of the world
Observing but never knowing
Where you truly belong
So on the waves of the world you keep rowing

Never giving up
Even when the sky is black
And the stars are gone
You know there is no going back

So do what you love
Breathe in the view
And know you are enough.

Hands all over me
Softly carressing all of me
Sensations I didn’t know I could feel
Is any of this
Even real?
You lifted me up and laid me down
Skin to skin
Lips to lips
I felt your hands
Move down my hips
Your eyes so bright and blue
Bringing up these feelings
So strange and new
One night full of bliss
Who knew
I would have to pay like this
A **** Boy
That’s all that you are
I see that now
Just a shooting star
One minute
You bring me hope and light
But you’re always gone
Before the end of the night

A blank slate
An empty plate
A finished meal
The same old wound
That just can’t heal
Stuck in a row
No place to go
Been here an eternity
Lungs fueled by depravity
Smoking up this stuff
Just staring ahead
Longing for my bed
But this line won’t move
I’m stuck in this place
Nothing to do
But dwell on my disgrace
I take a step forward
And he cuts line
Taking away
All that was mine
Two steps back now
It’s just how it goes
Will I be forever?
God only knows.

Dimly lit rooms
In the dead of the night
Dimly lit thoughts
In my bed without light
I lay with these thoughts
Racing through my head
All these voices
Whispering in my bed
Voices of the night
Pillow talk
I run, take flight
I can’t even walk
I’m stuck in an up,
In a down
I bow my head
Only I know of my crown
I wear it for this kingdom below
I wear it for the sins
I chose not to show
You want to talk
And you want to hear
But you can not ever know
Who I am, my dear.