Do you miss home?
Not the place that kept you sheltered
but the place that made you whole
I sometimes wonder what ours would’ve been like
if you hadn’t gone away
instead I’m here alone in this house watching the walls decay
I can’t stop replaying memories of us in my head
it’s been almost a year now and I still want you in my bed
I’ve tried to find another people who will suite me like you do
maybe I’m being dishonest, I know I’ll never replace you

Do you miss me?
Not the person I became but the person I used to be
because I see you walking by now and I can barely recognize
this girl with so much ego and anger in her eyes
now I know I’ve changed too, I’m more anxious and more sad
I have so many flaws now that I wish I never had

but for me one thing still remains
you still live inside my brain
I still think about you constantly, I think about you everyday
and I wanted to say I just wish you ******* stayed
I hope you never hear the songs I’ve wrote
I hope our memories fade away

I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet

She was allergic
To pollen, but she jumped in
Flowers anyways.

She was terrified
Of thunderstorms, yet she was
A storm of her own.

She said she didn't
Know how to love, yet she loved
Him to perfection.

You are not a walking coffin,
A sinner, murderer,
Or mother to a dead baby;

You are a woman who decided not to have a child,
The woman who took control of her pregnancy and made the right choice for herself,
A woman who was not afraid to deny a huge commitment,
And you are a woman who's not wrong in the choice you made.

They tell me the things I crave to hear
I'm hesitant every time knowing that it is all *******
I hold back as much as possible, but still give in I am only human
Thinking this time will be different, I was wrong
I am always wrong
Leaving an unfamiliar home mascara stains under my eyes
Residue of a wiped off sticky white substance on my chest
Lighting my cigarette a habit I had given up months ago
Crying because he was the same as all the others even though he stated over and over again he was not, and how he wanted to change my perception of men but he was one of them from the start
Inhaling each drag along with a a memory of the ones before
They always give so much affection and admiration until they got what they intended when they first laid eyes on you but it is now replaced with cold distant replies
They can not all be the problem right? So I guess the problem has always been me

You texted and talked....
Even slightly stalked...

You exalted praise...
What an ego raise...

You said you loved...
So I thought you loved....

You fussed and cared...
So I thought you cared...

You pledged you sweared...
And so slowly I dared...

I loosened the grip...
I let my heart trip..,

At first all said...
Was sweetness spread...

My thoughts my words...
Were chirping birds...

For hours and hours....
And hours and hours...

We’d talk and chat....
Timeless was that....

All of a sudden....
I turned to burden....

Abrupt it was....
Didn’t know the cause....

So bitter you turned....
My heart it burnt....

All sweet turned sour....
Every minute every hour....

It stabbed my soul...
Esse shaken whole...

I tried to reach...
To know to preach...

Just why and what...
That’s all I sought...

So vague so weird...
So strangely severed...

I longed so much...
For a wordly touch...

Please just one word...
I yearned for a word....

Silence only...
**** the melancholy...

It dawned on me..,
Just played did thee...

Those words were fake...
My mind did wake...

Metamorphosed am I...
Now I no more sigh....

Now am not the same.....
I evolved in your game....