love doesn't cost much, to say the least. ive never bought love before but i know people who have. some say it costs an arm and a leg, some will say it's about a dollar and two cents. no refunds, as everything goes. sadness is an acquired taste, but it costs nothing more than the entirety of your youth. it has an interest rate too, so if you cant pay it all immediately, you're gonna be in debt for the rest of your life. sometimes you dont realise you bought sadness in the first place. sometimes you mix things up in your shopping cart and that's okay. it happens to the best of us. fear, on the other hand, is something you don't buy. it's just been there for as long as you can remember. some people have more of it, some people have less. sometimes people like to share their fear to other people, or even force it into a poor, unsuspecting fool's hands. everything else is a hand-me-down, opinions and what-not. kids these days like to take those opinions and cut them up and add new stuff to it, making it something new entirely. it's interesting, and it's become some sort of new trend nowadays — a trend i gladly participate in. but there's one thing i don't think i can buy, not for now atleast. happiness. happiness is something i see in a store shelf, a price tag with an ungodly amount of digits sticked on it. happiness is the item in the shop that i pick up and inspect with a longing in my heart, but never can buy. i don't have enough money for happiness. sometimes people drop their happiness as they go about their lives, and i would be the person behind them to see it. there would always be an inner debate within me whether to keep it for myself, or to return it to the owner. on most occasions i am a model citizen, and return it to the person who dropped it. but sometimes i place it inside my bag and bring it home, to where id take it out and feel the corners of my lips twitch into a smile. i know it wasn't mine, but the rich people who can afford it tend to be so careless, as if they don't want it. i know i took someone else's happiness away from them. so i'd place it back in my bag, go back to where i found it and place it there, hoping the owner comes back and finds it. then i'd go back home feeling accomplished, yet heavy inside. it was the right thing to do, i'd repeat to myself. one day i'll buy my own happiness. happiness to call my own.

it's the scent of rain in the morning
and the sound of rain in the night
it's a feeling that overwhelms you
yet a feeling not quite
when all the world is fast asleep
but you sit there, eyes wide

it is the aching in your heart
the stinging in your eyes
it is the sentences left unsaid
and the desire to rewind
but it is also the fear of embarrassment
the fear of crowds
but the desire to speak up
and speak aloud

but no one can hear you
no one wants to.

the remnants of his laugh was the mere ringing in my ears
and the touch of his fingers
a phantom feeling
yet my skin prickles
and a shiver slithers
down the length of my spine
how could i forget the colour of his eyes?
ones that held the sun inside
every stare lights my flesh ablaze
how could i forget the colour of his voice?
each word spoken lined in gold
dazzling like his smile
oh, that smile.