it's been lifetimes since i've allowed light to shine through these windows.
-
i've never let anyone in; nothing like the way i'm willing to let you fall into me, to hold you so close that my tears become an ocean you refuse to dive into and your eyes become my refuge. (yes, never is such a long time)
i've never let anyone touch me the way i let you, because all that anyone has ever done is rip me apart while building their own castles and collecting their cheap crowns. but you, you hold me like i'm a butterfly, with delicate wings that have become tired, all in its pathetic attempt to be beautiful. you hold me like i'm all you ever need in this dying world
and everything else that exists is just a repetitive love song.
i've never loved anyone's voice as much as i do yours. how you speak prose that sound like eulogies, solemn but necessary; with patience, kindness, and everything that love bleeds, everything it professes, everything i need.
(you're amazing and it's killing me)
-
the sunlight is creeping in through the curtains, windows no longer shut. i feel my heart beating again and i'm no longer listening to the solemn lullaby that put me here in the first place.
you've woken me up
and now, i'm finally free
**(to love you endlessly)

She doesn't know
But i know what would come
If I said anything
So I'll keep my gaze low
And burn all the words I wished I could say.

We watch the perpetual war in the sky
The vivid colors of the gods
Bleeding before the mountains
A sultry foreshadow of nightfalls' catastrophe
He waits for the Suns' demise
Under the Gemini Moon
My Twin Legs split open
Wolves echo in synchronicities of
Madness
In the morning I call for Zeus
God of Thunder
Crack the earth open
Let my lovers fall to the underworld of your brothers  
Wash the scents of greed from my hair
And the hyrogliphic bite marks from my thighs  
Or bare my soul to wind
Starvation and feast
It all tastes like love
under the Yellowstone moon.

We are human
We fight for freedom.
Gender equality,
Peace between the races
And for the end of all wars.

Yet, we have sold ourselves
To mental slavery.
Concocting an idea of beauty
That evolves
Each time we get close enough to grasp it.

We consume morsels
And curl our frail bodies over the toilet bowl
Stare into the mirror, and
Smile.
For between our thighs
we have carved, a gap.

We paint our faces
and hide the artwork that lies beneath.
We are enslaved by ourselves
And in turn we enslave society.

But, we are human,
We fight for freedom,
Gender equality,
Peace between the races
And the end of all wars.

But we neglect the wars going on inside us.

We’ve always
learned in school
that if you were found
to have written
something that
someone else wrote
(even unintentionally)
you would be
reprimanded.
But even then
I've always wondered;
out of the billions
how could I
possibly
be so unique?

I trace places you used to touch
Looking for echoes of your fingertips

I light candles where you used to stand
Trying to recreate the warmth you exuded

I wrap your sweaters around my body
Mimicking the sensation of your arms around me

I listen to the clinks of wine glasses
Pretending we're back on our first date

I stare at your lips in your pictures
Wishing I had kissed you longer

I thought losing you would get easier
But I miss you more every minute

I was asked
         
                 why don't you
                   write something
                                 positive?
postive,
positive?

maybe it's like
school,
it's hard to weave
interests into subjects
coincident not
of delight

a page is an unworn
white t-shirt
that i seem to stain
unrecognizable
when my pen
wipes it's fingers

and theres nothing
more to clean my
hands with

so i guess
why i don't write
positives a majority
of the time
is because when it rains
the ground doesn't
just decide to stay dry.

make a happy  world send a smile a day

send it round the universe many miles away

send it to the lonely when there in despair

send a smile a day show them that you care



send it to the poor who are worse than you

just a smile a day will help them to pull through

just a smile a day is all that it will take

a difference to the world just a smile will make