There's nothing quite like
Your first family dog
You bring him home as a puppy
And he is rambunctious and playful
He tugs at your ponytail and nips at your ankles
Always seems to find trouble
And then he gets older, he still likes to chase squirrels
Thinks he's the biggest baddest dog in town
He will always protect your family from the evil mastermind ( also known as the mailman)
Will always provide love and comfort
And is forever happy to see you
Especially if you have doggy ice cream or a banana ( but really he's not picky he'll eat anything other than lettuce)
There's nothing quite like
How a dog becomes family
From the moment you bring him home
He is filled with love and you are filled with love for him
You begin to make memories and then
Eventually it's hard to recall
Memories made without him
Through the good and the bad he was always by your side
There's nothing quite like
The heartbreak that happens
When your dog dies
When you lose a part of your family
Just thinking about the next time you go home
He won't be there to greet you with a wagging tail
There's nothing quite like dogs.

Right now
in your kitchen
on the bottom rack of the dishwasher
resides a secret;
a dark spot on your soul –
a malignant little horror
that threatens to destroy
your sense of self worth.

Maybe it’s a butter knife
with an in-congruent rust spot
on one side of the blade…
Maybe it’s a random salad fork,
the final piece remaining
from a long forgotten flatware set,
with a fossilized chunk of radicchio
lodged between the third and fourth tines.

Probably it’s the fork.

There it has sat
without being moved;
without being touched;
just existing as the metaphor that it is
for 8 straight wash cycles.
The result has never varied.
The dirt remains.

Soon will come a ninth wash cycle.
You hope that things will change.
You know that they will not.
Despite this unwavering conviction
that the fork will always be *****,
the next time you run the cycle,
open the dishwasher door,
peer through the gauzy veil
of lemon scented fog
and see the small bit of filth
you will still feel disappointed.
You will grow a little bitterer.
You will be a little more contemptuous.
The world will be a deeper shade of gray.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can go
right now
into the kitchen
to the bottom rack of the dishwasher and
reach down
with a trembling hand
to grasp destiny.

You are bigger than this fork.
You are bigger than this fork.

You
are bigger
than this fork.

With a sense of control firmly clasped between your fingers
take that 15 uncomfortable seconds
to scrape away the debris with your thumbnail
and then be free.

BE FREE

Deep and resounding will be
the sigh of relief;
the utter completion;
the contentment absolute
that you experience
when you place that clean salad fork
back in the drawer.

It will never match
the new silver
that your In-Laws gave you last Christmas, but
at least it will be clean and
in its home
safely ensconced
in that wire organizer.

Right now
in your kitchen
on the bottom rack of the dishwasher
is a chance for redemption.

Today
A child of nature walked out under the bare sky
for the first time since she broke

The Sky,
So joyed to be able to see her beauty,
began to weep a wondrous rain storm

But
The girl thought The Sky was upset
and hid back under car hoods and roofs once again

Its Tears
Flooded the world as The Sky wept harder,
wondering when its kin would return

The girl,
So beautiful that she was comparable to the sky,
would hide away until she would be fixed

Next spring,
She would try to be a part of nature again
but this spring she must heal before she can blossom

I wanted it to be you
I bled for it to be you
I prayed for it to be you
But there was always someone else
In my bed

There are empty coffee cups all over this room
Somehow, I only notice when you're gone.
It reminds me of you, my cup of coffee
You take yours black one sugar,
I get a white peppermint mocha
Sweet with just a hint of bitter
Kinda like me in a way.
You can always know a person by where they get their coffee,
We like the local places, if we have time.,
But when we don't, we're Starbucks fans.
You know all the best spots in town.
Not just for coffee, foe everything.
When you took me to that park on the hill,
On that freezing winter night, I almost cried.
Because I thought, no I knew,
I'm in love and I've never felt better!
And even though Portland is freezing,
I was warm, because I was with you.

I woke up this morning
To the sign of the times
Wondering where it all went
As none of this I recognize

Why do the best of all memories
Have to grow old
As years of tears have cleared the dust
From off my country road

Nothing's now simple
As it used to be
The world in which I once lived
Has moved to the South side of mean

Cold winds have brought a chill
To all I used to know
Blowing the dust off
Of my country road

There's no way to go back
But I still swim in the pond of my dreams
Diving into simpler times
Wading through serene scenes

It didn't happen all the sudden
So it never really showed
Until all the dust came up missing
From my country road

I sometimes catch slight glimpses
If you know what I mean
As I blink back the tears
From the space in-between

Would things have been different
If I would have been shown
What lay beneath
The dust of my country road

i no longer pray for forgiveness.
i pray for growth.
and for me

that is enough.

•••
*City sounds, city lights
Chaos, hustles and bustles
Amidst the busy street
I saw you, only you
In a world of deafening sounds
And blinding lights
There was you, only you
And in a world where people come and go
You choose to stop and stay
You ask me to stop and not let go
And in the name of love, I did

beyond the happiness, beyond the saddness
somewhere out there amidst the madness
within the shadows and depths of black
beyond the point of no turning back
where all hope and dreams are lost
into the bitter and lightless frost
feeling nothing & loving no one
finally hitting the very bottom
battered a tattered soul lies
and all alone it slowly dies
innocence wasted away
happiness gone astray...
what have i become?
nothing, just numb.