admiration
seems to be one of our weakest
qualities
not able to see the love in the rays
the sun sets our way
or the whispers that insist the universe
cares about us each
in our own way
in the middle of the night
when the moon watches over us
as we shutter subtle fragile cries in our sleep
that our lips read "why did you do this to me?"

we come from ingrown trees
compacted of broken branches glued
together with moss
and we plant ourselves on the tops of hills
that way when our lovers finally do come
back (because ninety percent of the time
we're dead sure they will)
we can watch the sun set aside the beautiful
home where the sounds of our hearts
seem to beat
gaze into their eyes and tell them we never
could have gone on if they would have held
strong in leaving me
i mean us

so we hold their hands that still have bits of branches
coiled around their knuckles
and tighten our grip fitting in between their fingers
and we admire their eyes
their lips
their structure
them

but when they are not there
when they have picked themselves clean enough
of the sapling remains
and gotten rid of the pieces we so badly hold close
to our chests and made sure to remember
because they were the most rugged
and ridged imperfections of the earth
that way we cannot connect on the same levels as
before because they are now far passed perfect
and no longer intertwined in our bark
and the grooves are smoothed out so the lines have
disappeared with no birds or leaves that fall because
the seasons stopped changing and the wind stopped
whirling and the water stopped glowing and the grass
stopped growing
and everything just stopped

we sit frozen fixed
on the stump that sits stumped
next to us
and pray to angels above and the sun that it'll grow
oh please grow
rain
we tell it
rain
so it will magically reappear even though it's been
cut down
and we yell at the sky for not cooperating
because there isn't one single cloud
and we just stay fixed
on that bump that stands up out of the ground
and we forget that the sun is still there
waiting
wondering
hoping we will just turn our cheek another ninety degrees
and see its pretty fixtures from different angles
and its hands it has to hold
because when it comes to the world

we do not know how to admire any of its causes
we become too blinded in the animosity of who
is there to admire it with
and we stare at the empty space living next to us
but do nothing to soak up the delight-fullness that it is still there to be admired and the truth that
the eyes of our lovers got all of their colors
from those reflected in everything of what surrounds us

words protect us.
they shelter us from the storm of life.
they wrap themselves around us,
engulfing our every movement.
whether they are sung or spoken or written,
words have power.
more power than you could ever imagine.
they can hurt.
your words can cause torrential downpours
in the hearts of others.
but kind words are just as powerful.
they can inspire.
your words can achieve someone's dream.
why would you choose harmful words when your kind sentences can change the world?

I absorbed,
Blotted misery,
Lapped with eyes,
Soaked-up transgressions,
Mopped-up history,
Was steeped in trials,
Ingested triumphs,
And truly assimilated.
But the ground is saturated,
My prints fill
With the brine
Squeezed out.
I am the salt on the earth,
Parched and cracked.
You preferred candyfloss;
I dripped the last drop.

There’s a clumsiness
to the way I unbutton my shirt,
hoist it over my head
and let it snuffle to the floor.

I stand there, *******
and unkempt armpit hair on display
but you’ve already almost
totally disrobed,

the light from outside
licking your spine,
dribbling down a leg
like melted sunflower petals.

We catch each other’s eyes,
except you don’t catch eyes,
you see the other person
looking at you
and you know what’s next,

the standing ****,
dry skin and bellybuttons
viewed only by a fortunate few,
a bunch of names
like grapes squashed
into bed sheets
we won’t touch again.

I think this is supposed to be sexier,
my underwear flinging off,
boxer shorts champagne cork
towards the window,
your bra sunny side up
by the foot of the door.

Rather I watch you
peer at the skin I’m in
waiting for a shrill buzzer sound,
a number out of ten
and a spatter of applause
from a conjured-up crowd.

I think you look glorious.
I go to say this but my brain feels
as though it’s been whisked.
You walk over, slink your hands
towards my face,
put an icicle finger to my lips.
I’ve no idea what I’m doing
but you’ll show me the way.

Today was unusual,
while crossing a rocky
path, my 42 year old
son reached back offering
his hand to steady my
steps of progress.
A small thing at first glance.

When for all these years
it was me holding his hand,
guiding his path.
Age has intervened,
Now our roles have reversed,
as it does, as it must.

Accepting this reality
the only path to choose.