Your too late,
Now you have to hurt.

Just like I did.

- leah

How do you manage to make every
conversation sound like our last,

like your saying goodbye.

- Leah

I remember, after it ended
I would check

check up on you
see how you are

scour your Instagram feed
in the hopes of finding out you were lonely

I would check if you have seen my
most recent Snapchat story

or wait for the notification that
you liked my post

but yesterday

I uploaded, an image of me laughing
genuinely laughing
and i didn't check.

- Leah

when i left my house this morning
it was raining, no, storming
i ran to my car in a hurried sprint
trying to make it to shelter before i
got drenched in the down pour

as i sat in the drivers seat
i thought to myself
about how much i loved this weather
that i loved how miserable it was
the dark clouds
the lingering dampness
the possibility of danger because of it

and then i had a realization

how come when its thunder storming i dash for shelter
but when you create a thunderstorm i stand right in the middle?

- Leah

I don’t think about you anymore
at least I thought I didn’t
until I was holding his hand
and my finger stroked his thumb
feeling  around for the mole you have
then I realised that his hands aren’t yours.

I miss that mole.

- Leah

I know we've never been "together."
I know you said to move on.
I tried to be fine with wading this weather,
But the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful,
But you did treat me like I was special.
Lately has been so uneventful.
And I'm starting to think this isn't a game...

I get a little jealous when you look at other girls.
I know we're not together, but... You are my whole world.
I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.
It's because we're not together, but...
You told me that you liked me... You told me that you do.

Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.
Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine.
When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos--
Soundless replacements for you, who knows.

You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play.
You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way.
You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot.
I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face.
My prized possessions... I should've given you space.
Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to?
Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue.
And now I regret this—now I really do.
True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy.
I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.

be patient with me
things take time

i take time

be slow, don't rush it
it will take time for my body to feel loved again

don't ignore the bruises and scars people have left behind
don't lose hope if i shy away
don't worry if i flinch

it takes time to get over the past
be there for me
that's all i ask

- Leah