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how do I compare a thought that isn't there
an absence of words
something so absurd
yet profound
I dig deeper down
only to find a lack of sound
lack of how or why
this fleeting feeling is thin as smoke
I grasp for it with clenched fingers
further away it floats on by
eluding me it
lingers
further away this hope
I'm searching for
casts me out to sea a hundred times more
until my last and final breath
I'll keep swimming towards the shore
pushing forward until I return to the source and
soul departs
rips a part
the hardest part is
trying to describe
an empty
aching hollowness from syllables that once died
somewhere between barriers
brain
and tongue
graveyards of songs that will remain only a hum
unravel this winding web
I'm alone in my head again
when you sell your conscious for a profit
what do you gain
you've lost it
when the money is all gone
you won't be able to right your wrongs
I sit behind a computer screen trying to compute all that remains unseen
how can it be
our one and only home is dying
children throughout the world are crying
politicians stay lying
I'll never stop trying to make sense of it all
we're heaven sent but bound to fall
we mismanage nature yet act like grand creators
most would label me as a hater but I'm just trying to be my own savior
in a world full of deception
you have to put everything to the test and
I guess knowledge is a blessing but this new world view has me stressing
introspective
trying to find the meaning in every lesson
because there's always something to be learned
another bridge to burn as the planet takes a turn
I conceal my concern as to not stir up a riot
not like the people would buy it
these thoughts I cannot quiet
how do you expect me to remain silent when the world remains violent
unlearn everything you thought you knew
I urge you to try it
I had to wander from the path and never look back
your counterfeit reality is bound to crack
conspiracy theorists were on the right track when they said 9/11 was an inside attack
the true battle is not over oil or gold though
it's over your god-forsaken soul
which side are you on
where will you go
to be continued
the story unfolds
external forces
contort my frame of mind
walls were never built to tear down
but to stand tall
..
I thought empty rooms
had no worth
..
think of the possibilities
shouting from the rooftops
sprouting from your bones
filling in old holes
thought you would never have it all together
come to find out there's no such thing as whole
nor broken
we're all merely human
all merely coping
hanging on to hope and
I could have made a choice
but I choked
fear ripped out my vocal cords
spoke for me when I couldn't speak at all
..
I can taste change on the tip of
my tongue
feel the steady hum of it pumping through my veins
safe to say I'm
slowly starting to grasp
it's not about the fall
it's about the comeback
I see hope and
opportunity walking up to my doorway hand in hand
they knock
and my indecision lingers
fear digs its claws in deeper
the eternal woe of an undefeated foe
I guess it's true what they say
you reap what you sow
new beginnings beckon
a shipwreck lies within
dive beneath my waters
thoughts slip and falter
running out of time
             rhymes fall out of line
will someone please just throw me a line
I'm drowning in uncertainty
whether to take a chance or
let it be
the question is
will a chance take me?
set me free
give me new eyes to see and
a fresh beating heart
one that hasn't been ripped apart
torn to shreds
another hour sheds its skin
will I ever let someone in?
there are angels all around
God in every breath
today I will arise from bed
with wonder in my eyes and
music in my ears
fear has no grip on me
ever streaming sadness
not a single tear shed
devoid of all expression
living yet dead
unscrew my head
things better left unsaid
It’s not that I want to die
I can’t quite explain why
this body never felt like mine
merely a vessel and
this side of life
a lesson
I wish to escape all further testing
I already know the results
I’m not lost
my home lies beyond these weary bones
lay me in a tomb and
shoot me to the moon
I was never meant to wed a groom
consume regurgitated thoughts
this is what it feels like to be lost
out of place
no sense in trying to retrace my steps
these veins are not filled with regret
who would have guessed emptiness feels the heaviest
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