Laura Gee: Favorites

Dec 2016 Laura Gee

Nothing.

Dec 2016 Laura Gee

Rae

Nothing.

i am nothing.
don't say i'm not
because i know the truth
the mirror is my proof.

i can't look at myself
straight in the eyes
because it breaks my heart
to see all of the nothing they hide.

i used to be fine
i swear it's true!
but now i'm very much not.
you can tell if you listen to my thoughts.

i
am
nothing.

i use pain
to relieve my pain
and it's all my fault
that i have nothing left to gain.

i am worthless.
i fake my smiles
i fake being okay
i'm faking, all day.

who even wants
someone like me?
there's likely a mistake
when each day i wake.

i don't deserve
to be alright
i deserve to be alone
every single night.

i
am
nothing.

i hurt so i can be okay
but it hurts.
it hurts to hurt more.
it hurts me to the core.

i

deserve

to

be

**nothing

#heartbreak #alone #nothing #gone #deep #myself #worthless

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Sorry.

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

SorrowsOfAKing

Sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't ever enough for you,
I'm sorry I became so attached to you like super glue,

Not knowing that we would grow apart so fast and detaching from you was what hurt the most.. Because honestly.. I had plans with you, growing old.. Hell.. Even sailing on a boat from coast to coast..

I know I'm a handful.. I admit it but.. Sometimes I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror without constantly judging every inch of myself..

I love you.. You taught me to love myself but now.. Now I feel like I'm not even enough for myself..

So.. When we get to that point where we say our goodbyes.. Just know.. I would have done anything for you.. Even leave you alone completely.. So you could be happy with another guy

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Debris

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Jade Welch

Debris

You don't hear my cries,
all I hear is lies,
thinking you were nice
whilst falling for those eyes.

Eyes bluer than the sea
so sinking it shall be,
held under by debris
from hearts of the lonely.

#love #heartbreak #sad #lonely #hate #eyes #cry #blue #sea #heartache

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

yet

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

lei

yet

it's scary
to think that the possibility of meeting you
wasn't as slim as i thought it would be
that i'd look into your eyes
and feel that tickle in my stomach
i'd be red all over
because i finally have the chance
to say all the words
i still have yet to piece together
and i'd finally be able to
hold onto the moment that i
never thought would ever happen

for jww, the one person i'm too scared to touch

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

to the cosmos (haiku)

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

she who adores the universe

to the cosmos (haiku)

it feels like i have
explored the whole universe
when i look at you

to the boy who made me see every single star, who made the sun brighter, who made the moon shine more radiantly. to the boy who hung up the moon.

#love #poem #haiku #universe #cosmos #explore

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

eric

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

dani evelyn

eric

your patient hands waiting, waiting, waiting for me.

i am not easy to manage, and neither are you. we exist here, together, two problems, each other’s solutions, all at once.

i’ll never forget that week you were in the hospital. i think back to who i was then, a pale girl with a fistful of car keys, bursting through the radiology ward, intense and very afraid and full of something she couldn’t describe. for you: anything. i could have sat by your side and looked at you forever, letting myself take you in, mine and yours and yours and mine until there wasn’t distance between us anymore.

and even when all i can hear is your voice on the other end of the phone line, when all i can do is listen as you describe a night sky i can’t see underneath a haze of city lights, it’s both enough and terribly not enough. i can’t stop thinking about how much bigger you have made my heart, like my entire ribcage cracked open just to make room for you.

you are so patient for me and i am trying to be patient for you. i am here, sitting on top of clock towers and singing to the moon. i am here, ticking off the days on the calendar until i can see you again. i am here, i am here. i am still right here.

eric

#love #relationship #romance #distance

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

the page wanderers

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Rapunzoll

the page wanderers

my mother always said
"don't fall in love with a poet"
they pretend to love you
but what they really love
is writing about loving you
you are mere words to them
feelings cheapened by a page,
dusty grey typewriters,
and many unfinished drafts
of lovers both old and new,
you are the question mark,
but not the answer,
they are searching for ?
person unidentified: mystery
the page wanderer,
each poem a missing
person poster to cover their
bedroom walls.
they cannot love something
that is in their head
poets are the loneliest of
all people, my mother said.
they write to immortalize
what has long passed.
to live within their words,
but not reality,
lost souls writing suicide notes
and proclaiming it art.

© copyright

NOTE: i've noticed people sharing this to other sites without having spoken to me about it beforehand, I do not give permission for this and all poems are copyright, keep this in mind.

------------------------------------------------
my mother never actually said this to me, but i figure i'll probably end up saying it one day if i have children.

it's pessimistic yes, but i know there are exceptions. please don't take to heart. it's more a criticism of myself than all poets. :)

#love #heartbreak #poetry #sad #depression #heart #pain #lost #thoughts #you

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Idiosyncrasies & the Bar Scene

Oct 2016 Laura Gee

Morgan

Idiosyncrasies & the Bar Scene

I didn't ask to be like this,
Sitting on a bar stool in south Philly,
Hoping no one notices the water in my fist
Because I don't drink,
And I can't decide if that matters

I didn't ask to be like this,
Counting tiles as I walk through them,
Hoping no one notices
the concentration in my teeth,
Because I can barely breathe,
And I can't decide if I want to

Liking the rain doesn't make you interesting,
it makes you half-past 20 in northern PA,
And saying whatever is on your mind
doesn't make you edgy,
It makes you obnoxious...
It makes me think just maybe
You talk a little bit too much,
And tequila shots don't make you brave,
They make you sound like an 18 year old,
Just as lost, just as confused, just as scared-
But less articulate for sure,
Your matte red lips aren't deep,
Your matte red lips match mine
& every other woman in this ******* bar,
I didn't come here to talk about acid trips,
Or the hypocrisy in your politics,
I didn't come here to make friends,
Ever think I just wanted to sit?

I haven't spoken a word out loud
In six weeks and three days,
So I'm sorry if my voice shakes

I don't go outside for much anymore
So I'm sorry if your blinded by my complexion

I work at a nursing home
And I'm nearly as dead
As the patients,
The failure in my brain
Is a little different
But I'm equally exhausted
By my inadequacies

Without a lack of trying
I'm begging for the strength
To slit my own throat,
Because I don't feel like
Showing up for an other day

My diagnosis is a list 6 pages long
Full of initialisms that
end in the letter "D"
For Disorder

And I promise my tattoos
Are not an invitation for conversation,
So don't look so confused
When I get up and walk away
From you

I keep telling my boyfriend
Not to fall in love with me
Even though I've been
In love with him all along

I keep telling my boyfriend
To protect himself
Because I've been on my way out
Since I turned sixteen,

I say,
"I never thought I'd make it to
twenty-two, but please remember
I didn't stay to be with you"

I'm always trying to save
Bright eyed people,
Full of swirling galaxies,
And light
From the way I seem to
hallow them out,

I'm sorry I stayed in bed
With the tick inside my head
Again this week,
Don't forgive me