for you
where it should ache is hollow
regret for what I don't feel
it died so long ago
and I let it fester under your
apparent disinterest
I kept it in display
for solidarity's sake
a dead thing on a stake
and it's not that
you were the murderer
but more of
we kept the pitiful thing
alive too long after
too many stab wounds
life support of the novel kind
words not ours sewn like
frankenstein's monster
I pulled the plug
and you still don't see
you're talking to a corpse

raw
the word repeats
raw raw raw
the word describes
overwhelm - truth - vulnerability
raw meat
is what lays inside flesh
raw as is my poetry
meat picked off my bones
for consumption
it tastes different
as everyone seasons it
cooks it
prepares it
and i serve it raw

for 8 days i struck you down
deconstructed myself
it isnt over till
i toss that trinket into a river

you, my dear,
have been the first ive cursed
in a long long time

your effect
truly was a flame to the wind
this town will harbor you no sanctuary
as it never did

what you hold
is a false crescendo
you'll have to use your own breath
to fuel your own flame one day

self-love is /gorging /buying /hoarding
the discounted chocolates
in the darkest corner
brands unheard of
the forgotten relics
considered a step below the rest
to become a delight to enjoy
for those whom
valentines day does not serve
discount chocolate
doesn't care for the reason it's consumed
just that it's consumed
entirely
and with abandon

watch as they tell you to let it blow over
tell them eight days is a very long storm
and you didn't have the resources prepared for this
you love a storm as much as the next
but not when you are the storm
banging against the windshield of your car
howling howling howling

the night Polaris kissed me
i was a princess trapped in a tower
hair too short to reach the window frame
let alone to be a lifeline for salvation
i could see them from every pane of glass
i was kept behind

i had been blowing kisses
to Polaris
as if they were my lover
for several seasons past
that star and the space i was contained
were the only things that stayed the same

and they
they they they
came a long way just to shine a little

a tiny
tiny tiny tiny
light crowned in a foreign world

still substance enough to
return a kiss

isn't it funny how you can simply
stop
talking with anyone
and after a long enough time
its like they never existed?

the biggest tragedy here
is how they let it happen
and how i let them let it happen

a reminder
that i lived without them before
and can live without them now
why am i so sad about it still

i dont need anyone but
oh goddess
i want

im sorry i ran out of energy
glasses up for anyone who's tried
to keep with me
through the radio silence