love is a roller coaster.
filled with highs and lows,
the anticipation builds, your hand in mine.
nervous about the drop ahead.
rough times designed to bring us
closer than we are.
Sometimes it feels like we're stuck in a whirl.
looping around and around.
face full of wind. trying to be brave in front of each other.
knowing that we're both afraid of heights.
Our throats touch the bottom of our stomach.
our necks **** coming out of every bend.
racing in what feels like two hundred miles an hour.
laughing and screaming. a terrifyingly good time.
the wind sometimes stealing the sound.
hold on to me tight. The end is near.
throw your hands above your head.
let out your loudest scream.
our hearts almost beating out of our chest.
the last drop is just ahead. soon to slow down
then stop.
Admitting that we're afraid was the first step.
Though we had no choice but to let go of our ego,
It was fun.
the second time around won't be so bad.
you're here with me, gliding to the end.
on second thought.
maybe we should sit for a minute
when the ride stops

though a storm can reveal a tree’s roots.
their essence remains.
through the soil, through every crevice.
a home is still a home.
no matter how far it moves.
no matter how fast and far time moves.
the eyes learn different than hearts.
the body reacts. soon lost in the gaping hole
backfilling a testament with everything tangible.
hearts like tree roots.
grow and they twist, and they turn.
they will always be there.
my heart seeks to learn from yours.
growing big and thick.
though a storm can reveal a tree’s roots.
very seldom, does it remove every root.
beneath the skin, where my heart and yours exists,
layer after layer of dirt blessed by the gift of life.
no matter how much the storm rages.
a piece of you and I will always exist

in a downpour of rain.
the world fades away in a flash
of white.
the rain slants and drizzles,
Beginning to fill the gaps of potholes.
And crooked cracks left empty
against the pavement.
the drivers behind
the wheels of their cars
turn their windshield wipers
on high, to no avail.
Their wipers constantly beaded
down, covered white.
Fading away.
the downpour is too heavy.
the rain is too heavy.
It's thuds bead down
against the metal car roofs.
my heart too sways in the wind.
Pinged and drenched,
caught in the downpour of how your
heart's whispers have turned to screams.
rain-soaked tears unveiled to fill the
gaps of all things missing.
including the distance between you and I.
Soon, I too will errupt and overflow.
Fading away in a flash of white

I felt so alone.
every place I went. every place I stopped to visit.
Seemed off.
I followed the noise of everything around me
in the hope of finding something familiar.
I rounded corners, crossed mazes of streets.
I didn't feel like I belonged to any of these places.
mostly filled with strange looks. anxious behavior.
still, I walked.
big city life is too busy.
always somewhere to be. always something to do.
it's easy to lose track of time.
keeping up with the next thing to do, the next place to be.
I felt so alone.
my walk becoming more unease. my shoulders more tense.
nothing really felt warm.
everyone felt cold, lost in the hustle of busy feet.
Shoulders almost bumping into each other,
Cars screeching their horn almost running into the other.
the sanctuary of what I really needed seemed far away.
still, I walked.
meeting the avenue of your eyes. you.
you seemed different.
far different than any place I’ve been.
I felt like I’ve been here before, or at least
Would remember if I’ve dreamed about it.
I didn't need to look at a menu to know what I wanted.
there wasn't a question of where I’d sit, or if there'd be
a seat by the window.
No remembering if I needed to stop at an ATM or if I had the right
Amount of money. I felt at ease.
I immediately knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
if I did continue to walk, it would be into tomorrow.
so that I could come back here.
a patron whose face would take no time to remember.
when the weeks turn into years.
I’ll remember to tell you; this is how I got home

with a can of spray paint.
I tag my name across the wall of your heart.
my love for you condensed,
shaken up, expanding through
the burst of a nozzle.
swirls of tie-dye,
colliding in pink monochrome and blue.
Vibing, tripping.
After spray freckles tiptoe as high as my arm will reach.
And as low as my knee will allow.
chaos drips in small bubbles soon to dry.
Running through rough open spaces
Where paint used to be.
condensed circles, widening out to bigger circles.
your heart my canvas.
there is no such thing as running out of room.
the best things in life overlap and cross over
into each other.
my name splashed monochrome.
shaken up, expanding through
the burst of a nozzle.
I am swirling in love.
In every shade and in every hue.
coloring outside the lines.
your heart's a kaleidoscope
intertwined between the space of my fingers.
Life imitates art.
Art imitates love.
I imitate you.

the last time you were here.
you brought a bar of soap with you
that you left before you walked away.
it provides a fragrant lather.
rinsing off, swirling around before being rinsed
down the drain.
although not forever, even bars of soap
have a shelf life.
it's expectancy dwindling with every use.
although you're not here, the bar of soap
you left behind is.
the question of masculine is not up for debate.
just as fleeting as every shower is.
i am not at all ashamed to say that it left
my skin feeling smoother.
the bar of soap gets thinner and thinner.
tossing in turning, scrubbing itself against my wash rag.
the doubt of you coming back is more evident.
the thinner this bar of soap gets.
if nothing else.
you can't say that I didn't think about you

when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
somewhere where I know that you're safe.
somewhere that I don't have to question.
your lips a pendant to the charms
that bang against my chest if I were to run.
the chain of your arms looped around my neck.
not to bind, or to keep stagnant.
to take in the sights, to breathe as one,
just as the planets that clasp together,
dangling from the universe's neck.
and
how the stars gleam and radiate.
bouncing and filling the empty gaps of space.
astronauts know this for a fact.
nestled in the comfort of their ships, sailing the sky.
clutching their keepsakes.
thinking about the love they've left back home.
although I am far from an astronaut.
you guide me through some of my darkest times.
when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
if ever I am lost, you center me