"The problem is,
You look for meaning in everything"

Shouldn't everything about a problem have meaning?

Seduced
by the
school
shooter
singing
siren
songs
of
shotgun
blows
to the heart beat 
of the wet American dream.

It's the human interest
horror allegory
The hero doesn't even get
15 minutes

But the shadow has
got a gun fetish
Counting bullets as 
They're counting blessings,
numbered 1-27
3x his pump action 

Light 'em up
***** 'em out 

Some head-sick self-entitled 
monster in a mask
on a mission of mass destruction
Cashed in on their
little tax deductions

The most sacred snuffed out
before the light could become them

It's the darkness that dominates
As the dragon *******
Witch inside
The mind
displacing emotions
away from the art of 
living 
loving 
and losing

You're the submissive
Ascend the divine madness
or find yourself in shackles
in the machinery. 

Humming
hypnotizing
hymns 
of conformity 

Another one's lost his mind
Descended
And the scapegoat 
is mental illness

We all know, 
The media is the medium
is the message
The subliminal secret passage
to the shared skewed subconscious
Planting ideas of bloodshed
Like evidence in the 
Bodies of specific demographics 

Demonize
Pack the prisons

Capitalize
And cut the blood losses

Here we are now
Hopeless
It makes for great entertainment

She danced
a symbolic grace
with a look of malice
written on her face

She cast a
lunatic eclipse
of my erratic soul

The Maiden
The Mother
The Crone

It was more than a phase

Just a glimpse into our story-lines
She was the moon
I was the son

The anima
The animus
star-crossed
in our own paths
in our own way

I crowned her in stars,
she shed the scales
from her eyes
and we met
in a fiery embrace

Heaven on Earth
aligned like syzygy,
but only for a moment
We destroyed each other,
Yet we were complete.

Je ne sais quoi
Yeah,
she don't got it no more.

They aborted it from her
when they sold her the
the false perfection elixir
that soul'd her out

Hook, line, and sink her
gut her,
fillet her.

Ctrl-alt-del the fetus,
the sacrifice of the inner-child.
Molested into the machinery of Moloch

He butchered
the absolute heart
of the poem of life
out of her body.

She stands naked
goddess-less
kicked into the prison pit
of existence

Now she's like *everybody.
She's nobody.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
I'm sorry I slaughtered
Your sweet-heart

You tasted like
electro-magnetism
when I pulled 
the sword from inside you
like ******* symbolism

In an anti-synchronistic
fashion
I lured you in
Led you on and 
broke the law 
of attraction

It was supposed to slay the dragon
not the anima

All you wanted was
to make me feel alive 
without drugs.

I gave into temptation
And let the patriarchal door 
Of oppression 
Smack your *** 
on the way out

The fire of my *****
went to my head 
And I killed chivalry dead

Long live debauchery

You just wanted to be
the light of my life

Now it's the shadow
And I
******* in light 
of your bloodshed.

I work for the machine
that bashes bastardized beauty
into the face of the masses

The status quo
of oppressing the Goddess
to some golden ratio
of ***** perfection

"We set the standards, baby"

An arrogance of man,
A battle born in blood
objectifying some sacred symbol,
The cosmic ****
we all crawled out of
as star dust

The holy hole
to heaven on Earth
Gaia taken advantage of
Rejecting the gift of consciousness

We'll de-evolve
like past-life regressions
like we're so self-entitled to 
come back around
Among the cosmos
cradled in the crescent 

Deny yourself the mystique of the feminine
The clashing of the anima and animus
The syzergy of 
the sun 
the moon 
and us
Call on your angels
And submit to the psychosis

My brothers,
These are our 
sisters and mothers
They don't want to castrate
The ******* symbol

Destroy the alpha male
And the omega oppression
The beginning and the end of
**** shaming 

I worked for the 
misogyny machinery of Moloch
My heart no longer beats here
It just bleeds for *her.

She's the girl with the Bambi Eyes
Hidden behind a pair
of heart-shaped sunglasses
The ones I bought her

I like to roll her name
off the tip of my tongue
from the pit
of the fire
of my *****

Great artists steal
She took my heart
and fueled it with temptation
and had me
fullfill her wish lists

with kisses of wishful thinking
if I thought I was going
to get more than pics

Seductive
snapshots
slipping
Something beautiful
in the back of my mind for once
'cause all I see dark
things sometimes

It'd be nice to shed some light
on the situation
like I'm worthy of enlightenment
we are all one narrative
choose your own anima archetype

******,
operative
word
plays
my heart like a harp
and makes life seem
more
harmonious

The more she stares me down
with
assisted
spontaneous
combustion
on her mind

I'm sorry
I ****** up your heart
and got your hopes up

When all you wanted to do
was make me feel alive
without drugs

I dragged your eccentric soul out
and led you on
to the fifth slaughterhouse
Where I made you watch me
Vonnegut myself

...So it goes
you're swallowing
more than your doubt

A metaphor shoved
down your throat
and all you could do
was gag
on the right things
you should have said.

Like a ghost in the stairway
floating
the after-thought
overhead.

We we're never meant to be.
I was just lonely
and you were just bored.
Right?

Then I don't feel as bad.
Maybe we needed it.
******* move on.

Miss Amphetamine,
It's been two weeks
Since I bowed down
to speak in tongues
To worship you.

You ****.
You told me
That you'd see me next Tuesday
When I felt my soul
wasn't enough.

But I met someone else
She sets my soul on fire
sings my body electric
and keeps my
electro-magnetic heart
stimulated

Attracting the opposite
of what you held together
and selfishly beat
with chemicals

Miss Amphetamine,
you were my soul's
straight jacket

A cuckold of imagination
you got off
on watching me
**** myself

"You need to be more self-aware"*

At least that's what the voices in my head keep telling me.

Hello Eve
I Am Man
let me MANipulate you
make you MINE

          Helen of Troy,
          I held you on high
          Put the *****
          on a pedestal

Mary,
divinity in the
mirror, mirror
objectification
of my own reflection

          Sophia,
          Set my soul on fire
          ***-trafficked my heart
          into art

Ground control
     to impulse control
          are you in control?

What's your frequency?
     Whats your vibration?

Your resonation
     has resigned
          from the radar

Too many astral planes crashing
     Lost like a sacrifice
          to the island
          of isolation

My mind's a loaded weapon

Too many triggers
     to finger
     BANG
     temptation

This is lust
     for little deaths
          of inspiration

This is dreams of debauchery
     This is the self-prescribed
     nightmare of reality

Waking up to hangovers
     from a rope
          in the basement

Dekalb,
Where the soil demanded a sacrifice
Of the girl with the sunflower tattoo

Dekalb,
Where I left a lot of blood
Defending your honor

Rockford,
In ICU where I woke up with
Angels at the end of my hospital bed

Rockford,
Where I woke up
on the phone
with my best-friend's ex

Arlington Heights
Where we attempted
to find our lost minds together

Arlington Heights,
...it was kind of a funny story

Illinois,
I've given you all
and I'm still here *******.

Deleted from existence
     You ended all your processes

The blue screen of death
     depression's screen saver

Staring you down
From my sacral chakra

But what makes you so
******* sacred?

It's no secret
You loosen
Your legs
When I tap the
tip of my tongue
to my teeth

Go on show me
your spirit animal
underneath

Between the
vibrations
of divinity

I hummed along
and sung you
back to a deity

You're just the
diamond in the rough
streets  Chi-burbia

The girl next-door archetype

I'm just the
scumbag
psychopath
soliciting
snapchats

Darling,
Don't you wanna
get disrespected?

I know this wine
is loosening my lips

How about you?

Are you all wet yet?
Do you want me
to come in?

Hypnotize them
like Ginsberg
with his sync'd breaths
beating out a generation
of some self-entited
royalty mentality
generation
me
me
me
Status Update
to your favorite enemy
yourself
and the lack thereof
action taken
It's what do you stand for
and how do you want
to express it?
How do you want to feel?
And who do you want it to impact?
Because honestly
you're only in your head
anymore
when you think about obstacles
it's your reality
take a breath
and let out your own howl
to take it back
from the *******
trying to monopolize
on your own madness

Eye-******
by the
Pastor's Daughter

On Christmas Eve
With the rest of the
fair-weather Christians
it's the most wonderful
time of year
To pretend you care
about someone
other than yourself
just believe
in something
greater
and fake
infinity
for a minute

I'm pretty sure
There's a ring around her finger
Like the wreath around
some Savior
or whatever
her Dad was saying
in service
about some symbol of
love
being everlasting
being everlasting
Like a mirror
looking into a mirror
Staring down your own soul
and judging

In the background
I feel her at the back
of my head
she's staring me down
her sights are set
she's locked and loaded
she's racing
some sin circus
in my
Unraveling mind
She's begging me
to start unwrapping
her clothes
like a Christmas present
moaning
ripping
and tearing
her *******
off
like bows
on the gift
of transgressions

I look back to an empty pew
and the ghosts of
my past and future
temptations.

She's no
Fragile
*******
Flower

She'll plant
Seeds
in
sanity

And grow
Through
Telepathic
Psychopathy

Passed
the
past
too rough
for diamonds

What didn't **** her
made her outpower
her ego

And she sent her soul
To cocktease
my cognitive construct
in haunting hallucinations

The girl next door
frantically feeling me up
via shared consciousness

She
suppressed
this obsession
So she's always
locked in my mind
like a ***** secret

She holds
the key
like a
cuckold

constricting roots
to hold me down
to Earth
with
no
release

She's
a wild
*******
flower

Your past
has constantly got you
trigger
finger itchin'
pulling
at the stitches

Tempting you to spill
your insides out
To re-write love on your arms
Like you meant the cuts
To cut the conversation short

Capitalizing
a blood loss
in a blog
of glamorized
self-inflicted
battle scars

Some masochistic pride
pulled you into the abyss
Where do you draw the line?
Between exploitation
and raising awareness?

Are you done
losing your mind yet?
You just get so weird
Sometimes
Do you know what other
people say?
You're the reason
You're alone
You did this to yourself
Have you tried not
being this way?
You just gotta put
forth the effort
to not feel so empty
Let the machines
fill you with compassion

Girl
I wanna *******
In your glass house
As we skip rocks
slipping our tongues
into something more comfortable

something less cynical
than the effect
we have on ourselves
in a mirrored conversation
constantly
reflecting back
our insecure subconscious

So come on
let's get physical
Feel the frustration out
It's hijacking your
central nervous system
don't let it control
coax me to the back bedroom
and I'll show you how to ground yourself

Break glass
In case of emergency
We just need a release

I'm trying to get back in the flow
of feeling consistently constant
to blow my mind out
back to something cosmic
Made of star stuff
and spangled banners
bellowing my brains out
trying to wrack something
worthy of your attention

You just get so lost in your ego
it's hard to love yourself
before you put the world first
on your shoulders
and let go of
what was dragging you down
barreling passed all the borders
The self imposed prophecies
of invading the privacy
of your broken paranoia
are you even following yourself?

When you get to point
of writing it out
trying to sort out the madness
to make the next step
and process the enlightenment

Someone left the light on
in the attic of Heaven
calling
back to the stars
where they made up stories
of legends

Pt. I
Longing for your
lonely fingertips
The taste of the space
between your breaths
Slow sips of
Your coffee lips
My Hands
Your Hips
The bite
The kiss
The marks you left
When I couldn't get you
Out of my neck
Screaming off my chest
In the morning
We meant it harder
Than tying our tongues
in goodbye
a new record
inside your cheek
where you hide the most
beautiful smile alive
before you dressed it up
to oppress the rest
in an ironic twist  
of fate

Pt. II*

I was listening
To *The Decline
On the way home
From your place

I felt like I might do the same

But the moon was rising
and it looked like the Death Star
In the distance

There's still hope somewhere
it reminded me
To keep finding what I'm looking for

The country roads always
look more beautiful
When Mother Nature
Is dying
To fall apart
Gracefully

Don't we all wanna fall apart
so gracefully?

This is your life
leave a fire behind
to pass the torch
via karma transfusion
telepathically energizing
racing minds
You've got your whole life ahead of you
To come back around
minute by minute
racing you down
left in the inertia
of figuring yourself out
chase the light
it's passing through the floorboards
where your heart lays sealed
secluded until one day…
she came
simultaneously
slipping up the skirt
of synchronicity
somewhere in time
You had her
And You lost her again
Until you stared down fine art
To bring her back
At the right place
at the right time
of minds' projection

I wrapped my lips
around your neck

Drank you down
kept palates wet

You left marks
I know just what
you meant

Bottoms up
     choke the message down
Little girl
     Do you wanna tear each other apart?
****** set
     fire to my *****

Heart shaped x-ray glasses
Now reality is the new *** tape
We're all framed in

Oh,
The transgressions you keep rewinding
Because fantasies just slow you down
Oh,
When you wanna keep moving
find grace in what you're doing
Oh,
The progressions the soul makes
when it follows the
heart beaten
path
Oh,
Can you even last?
I know
sometimes
I can't

I just wanna get off one time
     and not apologize
For spilling my guts
     trying to center
Your settled half-emptied glass
When all you needed was a refill.

Everyone's out to outdo everyone else
It's not even about meaning anymore
It's how much press coverage it gets
Whoever makes them "just" statistics
And there's no fantasy draft yet

Somewhere alone in his dark place
Ruminating his environment
Some bedwetting, fire starting, animal abuser
Infantilized by the hatred of maternal instincts
Projected on him
De-evolved

He likes the way she hurts him
She abuses open hand words
or clenched up fists of embarrassment
It just fuels his homicidal tendencies
His brains on the hate frequency
And he's ready to let the fantasy slip

Home is where the heartless host
absence of emotional ghosts
the boy
the man
the monster

He lost it

Family annihilator,
He took his mother out last
So she'd suffer through
the destruction of the *******
Her wasted wish
of abortion'd children.

This was before the news vans
This was before the first respondents
This was before the society outlash

Back to him alone in a dark place
In the depths of his disturbing mind
He sets higher stakes.