My heart beats
some manic
American dream

just
like
yours

We just have to go deeper
and not get too
emotionally attached

'cause destiny's a *****
just like the distance

Short-term impulse episodes
of mass enjoyment
vs.
Long-term miracles
of wishful thinking

I'm on that "Be the change you wish to see" ****
or believe long enough to see some strange ****
Truth be told,
it's amazing
how much you don't know
because you're
too scared
to look inside
or ever ask "why"
more than what
you read online

No.

It's always some new notification
an autonomic phantom vibration
of the lost soul

Missing out
on it's missing
piece/peace

That stumbles in tune
to delusions
of
Godlike
tendencies

Gracefully,
all the way
back to the pharmacy

As long as they're prescribing
hope and ambition
This American dream,
I'm sleeping on it.

My heart starts
panic attacking
my nervous system
fighting
or
fleeing
or
freezing
impulses
OCD stacking
breaths
count them
one through ten
then back again

To this very moment
where it's coming together

I haven't eaten anything
All **** day
is what it feels like

I swear I'm not this weak

My racing thoughts are just paused on
******* falling apart
at any moment

Shuffled
until I'm present

Her
touch
tapping
tips
of my fingers
grounding
all my
impulses
and
channeling
my
transgressions

Until we are one
breath
counted back again

Girl, you're already
A walking genocide.
Armed with your 
favorite prescription
and all the reasons
why
you wanna escape
the inside

With a bomb strapped
and wire tapped
to your heart beat
to the only constant
of grace
that you stepped out of
in the stutters you gait

Steady your impulses girl
you don't need another slip-up
some emotional trigger

Blowing you 
out of proportion
out of your body 
The one you were 
never comfortable with

From what you saw
should be beauty
the red herring
of reality distortion
the magazines
the billboards
the Goddess abortion

I just wanna know
what you taste like
We already know
that the distance
pulls right
where we
would write
About each other
At the sake of breaking ambiguity
somewhere between the lines
A missing bond ever reached
like the unknown we teased
To the depths of our souls
Speaking telepathy
I lost my ******* mind
Before you found me
Broken
Hoping
Looking for an opening
Anywhere you
want me
to be
To cleanse your palate
in between the
salt/sweat/sugar sheets
Twisted in my tongue
tied to
your bed
Every time
I bite into your words
Again and again.

I'm sorry I treated you like
the groupie I've never had.
The things I said in haste
The anti-promises made

Wipe the stars from your eyes
I was more like a black hole
Imploding your soul

I ****** up your heart
And got your hopes up
I saw your dreams as meant
to be taken advantage of

Little miss broken
Mind if I muse you?
to abuse your beauty
and exploit your insides
for the sake of poetry

I could blame it on
Goddess oppression,
My misogynistic intentions
deep rooted by living vicariously
through an idea of a rockstar
Burnt out before I'm initiated in the 27 club

Black holes still in your personality
I can't just tell you
I was scraping the bottom of the barrel
Trying to keep the void filled
with inspiration
In desperation
We both ended up
occupying insides
caught in a euphoric tide

That oxytocin's a helluva drug
at least for it's half-life
We both came crashing
right/write where I intended
Reincarnated,
by the words I've mended

Are you OK?*
I lack my own approval most days.

Why haven't you been eating?
It's a spiritual fast.

Why have you been isolating yourself?
I'm trying to formulate a plan to save the world.
Somehow.

Any thoughts of hurting yourself?
What's life without a few battle scars?

What are your triggers?"
That's a very loaded question...

Be my constant
like Desmond
and the Island

When you and me
met between nosebleeds
and seizures of consciousness

We looked to the sky
and watched
electromagnetic
explosions

That held our hearts
pumping out supernovas
In their hands
we were Gods
respectively
blowing
Buddha minds
out of proportion
re-enacting
some center stage production
of how we shift our own reality

Subtly
unspoken
devoid of emotions
lost like a lighter
in a smoke circle

Offsetting
the light and darkness

But You were always my constant
again and again
in
flash-backs
flash-forwards
flash-sideways
*We could never escape the timeline

Un accro*
late night
bouts of creativity
vs. my manic imagination
I was God
and these are the details
I was lost in

Folie à deux
It's kind of a funny story
how I got here
how she got here
how we all got here
Everyone was in this
with a shared diagnosis
pre-hospital
cakewalks
of shredded lunacy

Je t'adore
Her neck was marked
with covered up innocence
Saying she just wants to
adore
or
be
adored
between her sighs
She just wants the words
choked out of her
to roll her tongue

La Petite Mort
Telepathic whispers
vibrating through auras
forcefields
of imagination
the dividing line
between aware
and fantasy
Manipulative
mindfucks
provoking
destructive
tendencies

­This is what brought me here.
This is where it ends
This is where I begin
*C'est la vie

We're all living
     for little deaths

Moments of some
     skewed inspiration

Pleasure out of desperation
of short-term goals

This is all now
right as I type this
Are you aware
that you're already
enlightened?

Stop searching
time is like string
and we're already right
where we need to be
******* with infinity

right here,
in this very ******* moment

Where your heart beats
     with empathic connection

With instant bliss
     knowing that together
     we all feel this

If you find me staring off
I'm probably trying to orchestrate
Forced hallucinations
We call reality
Merging layers of fantasies
That ones where we photoshopped our dreams
Pouring them out of our hands
to imitate art

I look to the sky as a canvas
Using my wracked mind as a weapon
Exploiting the sun in my eyes
As enlightenment
The grand totality of everything
And the line of time

Lost a bet with myself that this was wishful thinking
It's just a constant mirror
Reflecting the unseen unconscious
We're all in here manifesting some parts
Of our skewed imagination

No matter how violent
The nose bleed
Or lapse in consciousness
Getting lost in flashes of lights
Seizuring out the message
A sign from some higher power

Recently,
There's been a dark cloud
Hovering over me
My mind's been provoking thunderstorms
In hopes it'll wash away the pain
Or whatever "woe is me"
That's been up with me

Recently,
It's just been dark 
I'm on edge about the future 
But I'm still deadset on the past
And mistakes that I am not anymore
All the things I was 
All the things I left behind
Came back as ghosts 
Storming my temple

As
I'm
Sitting
In 
A
Room
Alone

Appealing to my own emotions
In an ad hominem argument 
Versus my self
Or so it always goes
Me inciting thunderstorms
Before I ***** out the light

Eyes,
Hers
Don't stare
Down
My destiny
Like yours
know

Hands,  
Hers
Don't hold
Fast
My hope
Like yours
are home

Heart,
Hers
Doesn't impulse
Sync
My heartbeat
Like yours
metronomes

I feel the comfortable writhing
deep in my ***** again
I'm not sorry

This is your fault
You touched me first

Somewhere in the back of my mind
You're feeling me out

Little Miss,
Telepathic
Trespassers
will be prosecuted.

...I'll put my hands
around your neck
so softly

And choke out
the words caught
in your throat

To the tip of my tongue
     all the right things flow

To the flesh of your lips
     and all in between

resonating your body
     with stories

stranger
than
fiction

little deaths end
where they begin

can
you
feel
friction
feeling
you
up?

Just how you like
To be
shaken
and
stirred

tossed
and
over-turned

This is me unleashing
some twisted fantasy
to my little therapist
enabling me

To self-medicate with star-stuff
To "Show me what you're made of"
To "Baby, bend over and take it."

Show me the fourth wall
Let's break it.

I'm slowly starting to realize
that belief
or lack thereof
is relative to our survival

It's responsible for how far we've come
and what it took to get here

Time is just as important
It can be destructive
or constructive
relative to our
self-created path

Like our handwritten story
Starting where it ends
or does yours always
end at the start?

I'm slowly starting to realize
that the world is the canvas
and we're imitating art

I'm only grounded
When I'm *******

Or inflicting pain
on myself

This very moment
I'm racing my thoughts

to the borderline
of personality

In a self-destruction
contest

I don't play fair
when all I want to do

is feel more alive

than *******
or cutting ever did for you

underneath our skin
below the chemicals
and passed the atoms

we're vibrations,
a madness resonating for two

My life is a mess
     no metaphor
     could ever mean

My ambition
is being held captive

Lost
in the chaos of logic

Like a game of chess
    I need to be saved
    by the Queen

Wishful thinking
For divine intervention

Summoning
*The Goddess of this machine

She was lust in the morning
     and art by nightfall

Where she whispered halfway moans
     of words plagiarized off the wall

Some little death
Some ironic typography
     reinventing fate
    
Manifesting her destiny
     In stutters
     she gaits

A soul tripped out of the dream machinery

Now she's standing naked
     In the door way

The threshold
     between mundane and fantasy

Staring down the destiny
     about me

She asks me
     to follow her bliss

Her skin heralds the call
     to my hands around her neck

She wants to be
     bruised
     So Gracefully

Pulling her hair back
     dragged
     in and out of dreams

To the girl with the pin-up dreams
     I hope you found
          what you were looking for

Your James Dean
     I tried my best to be

I'm sorry,
     But I'm a different
     brand Americana

Our Country's soul
lost in translating
trafficked
hearts

and Ten things I hated
     about your favorite movie.
     Even though it's secretly my fav.

I was always too weird for you
like an American ******
self-entitled indigo child

Feed me a stray soul
and I'll spark a new revolution
be the poster child for madness

This is what you told me was best for me
     To exploit my demons
     to muse the madness
     To *rebel with or without a cause

Are you aware, or are you tuned out?
     Behind your technology
     Do you feel invincible?

The singularity isn't near enough to save you

Intuition leaks,
     fight or flight gets rampaged

Sensory overload,
     the main power grid shuts down

Man vs. animal instinct
     in a creation throw-down

*We sent out the distress call via status update...

This mind intentionally left blank
Behind opened eyes
staring down destiny

A new page
A new mindset
promotes change
When it's looked at different

Things fall into place
It's all about intention

Fantasies manifest
form of stranger than fiction

https://soundcloud.com/therookielot/unicorn-destroyer
I recorded this on my iPhone. This songs about destroying unicorns. Thanks for listening B)

Darling,
     I feel more punk rock
     when I'm without you

Like I want to destroy something beautiful
     or break the first rule of Fight Club
     to summon you back to me

But temptation's a *****
     like destiny

The only things that are true in life
     is that it's stranger than fiction
     like synchronicity
     or our souls' electricity

Princess,
     Give me a task
     to earn the privilege
     to transcend the right time
     and the right space
               of your day.

She's a wildflower
     A daisy in the chaos of the ironic forest preserve

Where they tear down trees
     For new parking lots
     Seriously.

Looking pretty among the mayhem
     Her mind

I'm thinking there's self-destruction about her
     Or she used to
    
Something I can muse too

Did I say too much?
     I'm just as broken
     tearing me inside out exploited
    
But she'd rather favor vivisections
     To rid her of her soul's infection

Her body
Her weapon
Her choice

Horizontally
Up and down
Her arms

Raised up
like she's giving up
     Or she wants me to take her shirt off
     Both are the same

She bows down to me
     reaches for my belt
     and asks me to save her

"Darling, it's your story.
Only you can save yourself.
All I can so is support you in the fight.
and remind you,
it's not done."

I caught her
telepathically feeling me up

From across these parking lots
where I always find myself
stalling even when I'm not parked

Her eyes were like darts
to my sacral chakra
She must have felt the spark
igniting my erogenous area

Now her soul's on fire

Just how she imagined it
To be devoured eternally
To have the life ****** out of her
To feel the little death
Rebirth her senses

It was all in her head
just how I imagined it.

In an eggshell    
          The universe gives birth to itself

She purrs her r's to ****** the cosmos
     With a spell of linguistics

That we're all humming along to

I'm speaking in tongues
     Bowing down in worship
     vibrating the outside of my mouth

This is the new sensation
     Her aura's stimulation
     Like she read me like a book

Once she felt my touch of grace
     Convulsing hips
     and transcending taste
    
Some paradise of infinity lost in karma's translation
     Where we all come back around together
     Until we're light again
    
somewhere
     in time

She bursts

I stared down fine art to bring her back
    Big banging our broken hearts
     back to the start of stars aligned
          before we were gods
          before the chaos
          
     Scrambled back        
In an eggshell

Woke up from the American Dream
     Hungover
     Hellbent on reality

After I saw the worst minds of my generation
      Destroy with their madness
      Rather than exploit their demons

They shot them in the heart with anti-depressants
     and let them wake up
     dead to ambition

They prescribed me like you
     Withdrawal made me like me
    
GOD MODE ON

Just reach for the sun we're touched by
      Fire in the mind.
      Controlled flame

I am American Madness
     Mommy's little monster gone manic
     Mood swinging from the right intentions

I am American Madness
     Jumping this shark with the high horse I rode in on
     Saving my country from soapbox to soapbox

I am American Madness
     The revolution in our minds manifested
     standing up for something un-televised

The psychos in sheep clothing
     Lycanthropy at the right time
     Letting out our own Howl

Standing present
       Our hands are red white and blue in guilt.
       With the ghosts that we're dragging from past lives

Tearing the throat out of
        the things we can run
                but can't hide

Fighting off our demons
      Transmuting the nightmares
      Caught in the American dream catcher.

We could be the champions of the oppressed
      Crossing the first threshold
     We all come back around together

© kenHeike, 2k13

Remember when we used to sleep above the covers?
     We would keep warm at night
     Just holding each other.

Since you're gone,
      Your body's been replaced 
      with a body pillow at surface level

Now I've got no one to sing to sleep
Now I've got no one to muse my demons away

Now I'm just dreaming of waking up 
     in body bags anymore
     
Cold and next to nothing.

What scares me the most is, 
     I wouldn't call it a nightmare

Would you be my Ava Gardner
     When I submit myself to the darkness?
         The madness of my own racing thought theatre 
                             In my mind

My own sacred sanctuary 
                         lost
     Somewhere between the ruminated past
     And a catastrophized "way of the future"
Where I presently react

Would you ever bring me back?
     Before bath times
     And fetal positions

Back into the arms
     of infinity, space and all in between
'Cause all I feel is scared anymore

Washing my mind clean with your cosmic touch
     From a black hole back to star child 

Whispering,
       You will emerge beyond The Phoenix and The Full Moon.
                   Just rise, My Sun

Exploiting my inner madman 
     with all the right intentions

Little death in the dark
Reborn illuminated

*Way of the future
Way of the future
Way of the future...

Are we listening,
     Or are we judging what we hear?

Let's play "Whose tragedy is worse"
     Show me all your battle scars
     The zones where your mind initiated war

Where you wrote "love" on your arms
     And all you got was a t-shirt
     Capitalizing on a loss of blood

Streaming consciousness
     into status updates
     crying wolf is still a call for help underneath it all.

We all lead a masochistic path
     Pushed by a self-destructive past
     Razors tracing the way
     Mapping out the suffering

Spilling blood like divine ink
     Writing a story
     Just remember it's not done

We are everything we thought we wouldn't be until we re-write our own history
    
They say time heals everything
     But time is just another man-made
    lie like reality

What if we're just addicted to being sad?
     We get caught up in these negative thinking patterns
     And never go back to count the blessings

Bad habits dying hard
     Like a re-opened wound releasing endorphins
     When something doesn't feel good anymore
     or "no one cares about me anymore"

Think again

Yeah I get it you're broken
     But we're all a little broken

It's not about ruminating on that missing piece/peace
     It's about pulling yourself together

Find what's blocking the way and tear it down to size
     Every hero story requires one last ordeal with the shadow

Exploit your demons
     sleep with the true enemy

Don't devote yourself to a self-fulfilling prophecy

Learn to realize,
Life's one big question
     Death has no *answers

The wind always find a way to put me in my place
     Though, I don't know where it's going
     I don't think it knows where it's going.

It's just running on empty through my hair gracefully
     In an attempt to breathe life back into me.
     Via my crown connection to the cosmos

Hey Wind,
     Can you bring me the world?
     How about dropping prosperity in my lap?
     Like some self-entitled ******* child of privilege

Hey Wind,
     What if I save the girl?
     She'll probably end up saving me from myself anyway
     Divine intervention from the mind of my inmost cave

Hey Wind,
     I've got good intentions
     I'm just throwing it out there
     I'll use my senses in discretion

Like pouring a heart out
Into some empty pages
and labeling it as art.

Our own life interpretation
Reality in the hands of those who wish to create
Relative to how you wish to change

Become what you think

Just remember
Intention is everything
The wind always finds a way to put everything in place.

I'm not here to capitalize on you
     I'm just here to exploit your emotions

I'll be your new anti-depressant  
     Your defense mechanism
     Your Oral fixation

Your morals are safe with me
     I promise

Take this down and try calling in the morning
     You're not numb anymore
     I'm your electric addiction
     Your unorganized prescription

Little Miss OCD Queen supreme 
     I'll give you something to run with
     When you're feeling uninspired

Sweet ambrosia,
Straight from my loaded God complex
      That oxytocin's a helluva drug

Come on,
Invite me in
and
choke
down
my
angelic
soul

Breathe in and out the light,
before darkness falls
let me transmute your pain to medicine.

I'm not here to f-ck you Molly
     But maybe I can still make you feel beautiful
          Even if you're dead.

You were an "A" girl
     in the red-light district

This side of town
     Your Daddy was a politician

And his best friend
     Was your last appointment

They found your bones under the floorboards,
Molly.
They wanted to put you in a display case,
Molly.
What's your unfinished business
Molly?

You're still showcasing your soul
As an apparition of this apartment

They're here

Isn't it time to move on?
Don't you have light to travel through,
  to get to another physical vehicle?

What keeps you illuminating this place?
I'm not here to ***** you out
Maybe I'm just trying to understand,

What really happens when we die,
Molly?
Are they trafficking ghosts here for profit
Molly?
Have you soul'd out,
Molly?

I'm calling you out
Of my mind
Manifest yourself
Come on, blow up in my face

To the:
Bombshell
With the short fuse
I'll be your Molotov cocktail
You be my fiery muse

I keep seeing your face
In sepia torn scenery
In the art of my dreams
trying to photoshop reality

To the:
Dream Girl
With her totem locked
I'll join you in a free fall
As I violently shake back awake
Alone

So it goes...

You're dancing my imagination
Heart-beating my soul
Tango of illumination

I felt your grace
In telepathic foreplay
My little mind-fu©k
life's stranger than fantasy

To the:
Princess,
Crowned in roses
I'll savor you as a Goddess
When you open your sweet blossom

So it goes...

You're dancing my imagination
Heart-beating my soul
Tango of illumination

Fire of my *****
Rising up my spine
We could be enlightenment-to-be
Like Nirvana
      Come on blow my mind

I wanna be spellbound 
Without a destination
Just a journey
Into the depths of imagination
Where i'm dragging the lake for a muse
In some skewed desperation

Something to keep me going
Like the chills shooting for enlightenment
Up the spine of the self-aware machine
they made me

Missing a missing peace/piece
Searching for someone as lost as me
In a chaos we're both tearing through
Along the heartbeaten path 

Back to her place
Where I'm always finishing last
In more ways than you could understand
Until I'm standing over her
Running her hair back
After she's done
When belts lay undone

Hands fashioned around hips
Courting a release mechanism
Out of the machinery of soul 
Something for her to run with
When she's all out of road

Felicia,
I'm off my meds and I need you.

My mind is somewhere between 
rock bottom and a dark place

My mind is my frenemy
that I'm sleeping alone with. 

I feel more alone again.

Felicia,
If my minds the weapon
How to I get my heart 
to back me up?
Because it feels like 
it's set to self-destruction

my own prophecy self-fulfilled

Felicia,
How come I'll never get the time back I killed?

What about the madness 
and how it manifests 
into impulses?

Like biting my ******* lip.

and how come I imagine everyone naked still?

I feel like biting my tongue off
when it's freudian slipping
But I need that for the times
when these fantasies start projecting

Felicia,
I'm sorry for all those times I swore in your office.
I'm the impatient patient still locked in the waiting room of my mind

Waiting for the ******* world to fall in my lap. 

Felicia,
I'm ready to dig myself out of this bed I made in falling for tired cliches when all I needed was a metaphor.

Smile
Even if you don't mean it
Fake it like your o face
Make it like you're going out of style

I don't know why I keep going after the broken ones.
Maybe there's a piece they're missing
like I could be the peace of mind musing
her fragile little soul.

Maybe I just want to fix something.
The perfectionist architect,
The anti-hero archetype
Letting my emotions build castles
instead of locking me in some dungeon ruminating.

Or maybe I'm the ******* broken one
Dead set on divinity
Dormant in between rock bottom and a dark place

I'm ok, I swear to a god complex

Praying for some princess clad in punk rock armory.
Tearing through the motions
in the mosh pit of reality.
All for her crown of fire and flowers,

Come on, save me,
The light of my life
Fire of my *****

Lusting into supernovas
To encompass this astral plane
Where we're waging a war against reality
With the fantasy I'm wanting to pull out

a 4th wall broken

I want someone who is
More than just a cure for my loneliness
Someone who can seal my madness with a kiss

More than a pretty face
An electric soul
a fiery grace
More than static
Over and out of control

Til death do we tear each other apart
Reworking our guts into the bigger picture
You can't spell heart without "art"

To the one who can supernova my senses with
a stare
     a touch
          a telepathic tug

*Just be here now