4 a.m.
here i am again
why aren't we friends
you're as consistent as the pain
always there for me to blame
you're like a secret that i keep
locked in my thoughts
listening always when I'm caught

4 a.m.
here i am again
sleep left me and you're what i have
like the unwanted truth
a reflection of reality

4 a.m.
here we are
why does it hurt so bad
where is your comfort
you are here, just as i feared

4 a.m.
you're like a drug
see real life in a whole new way
the high lasts only until day

4 a.m.
you're the journal of my mind
i talk and you listen
you cover my sin

4 a.m.
all is lost
but sometimes you must loose it all
to find yourself

4 a.m.
its now almost morning
ill see you again after the day,
mourning

I think you're beautiful
Your curvy body
The body I want to touch so gently
You hate your curves
The curves I love so much

I love your face
Even with all the blemishes
Your face is so beautiful
But you hate your face because of the blemishes

I love your **** and hips
Because they're a part of you
You hate them, but I don't know why
Sometimes I wish I could hug and kiss you so much that you wouldn't hate yourself anymore

Where you hate yourself I love
Where you love yourself I love even more

I see your beauty
Why can't you?

I guess I am the beholder of your beauty

You are the beauty in my eye of the beholder

the mirror
divides where
the partition begins
between broken and free

i touch the glass
it imitates me
copies my every move
i must be confused

i touch the glass again
it still imitates me
showing the contour lines
of my every ****** expression
but then its gone
i must be very confused

i look hard into the glass
i see my face
i look harder
but this time its different

i first see my flaws
my imperfect perfections
what makes me whole
why should i look like a brainless doll?

i look harder once more
into the glass
and i see something
far more different

i see the girl
with the piercing
dark grey eyes
who has everything in
her life just sorted out

but then i see
the girl
with dark black
holes in her sockets
instead of eyes

this girl has
many marks on her body
signifying how many times
she has been hurting

i see a marking
on her forehead
it says LOST
it then begins to
cut a wound
into her scull

i try to forget
all these disturbing images
i have seen in this mirror
forgive and forget

hasn't it always been about forgiving and forgetting?

i'm not sure i want to forget anymore.

i want to remember.

i turn back
and look at the girl
with the deep dark eyes
i then see her mouth move

who are you?

(b.d.s.)

i seem to be a lucid dreamer
at times;
constantly finding you in me

why do i like to dream about
the "could be's"
and the "never was"
as if it brought great joy to me

i seem to be a constant thinker
most times;
i can hardly think straight

through every nerve in my brain
it remembers every memory
of you
with ease

i seem to be a violent lover
all the time;
as if love is my crime

my soul had handcuffed
my heart
cutting every connection
of you

i seem to be nothing at all
i barely remember;
what is like to be loved now

i am a tiny flake
of dust
just breezing through
the depths of your mind

(b.d.s.)