the kiss goodbye landed on my cheek -  
the symphonic "door is ajar" chime, softly, in the key of C

i can't write when i'm sick lonely lost and lovely thinking of you
fading into my sheets for the whole day and the sun was too bright on my face
and i'll eat donuts until the flu decides to say goodbye, farewell
and i'll choke up powdered sugar dancing on the stairwell
singing songs about loving you
i don't think i needed to say it
i think you already knew
a portrait of your mother behind my swollen eyes
does she know we spent the night living between each others thighs
we walk with bottles between our fingers
dipping our toes in cold water
the bridge lights up, the reflection is its daughter

is it alright?
would you be okay?
if i finally told you
what i think i need to say

is it okay?
would it be alright?
if staying meant missing my departing flight

would you mind?
if i boldly confessed
the words that have been buried
in this cavernous chest

if its not spoken, let it be read
i wish you didn’t exist
beautifully, but only in my head

does it hurt to hear it?
it hurts to say
‘i love you, darling’
escaped in a midnight whisper and tragically flew away

i'll take the long way home
and cry, tears floating like dust out of the window
and i won't act surprised when your name is plastered on some sign in the middle of nowhere
because you're not a coincidence and when september starts playing i'll just blame it on my palm being read
like a prophecy, this happened like some kind of map of the stars
the way we slept under them and the way you held me slowly then all at once
and apologized for loving me slowly, then all at once
because him and i, we had our time
and the stars don't love him
he was a virgo and you
youre a sign on the side of the road and i miss you more than him
i miss you more than him now

i tried to love you last night
with whiskey, whiskey
but you've left, gone west
the morning after, the morning after

its romantic how we get each other through a thursday night
its sad how you’ll never see that smudge of red lipstick just below my lip
misplaced, you would have said, beautifully misplaced
and i’ll ask which film is lighting up your face

it is ladies night, it is free well-drinks
and so i start every order with ‘well,’ and a sigh
and i tip the bartender with daisies
i never was good with money, flowers are a currency

and you find some kind of eloquent word to describe me walking home alone
beautiful, endearing, and you forget to mention that its unsafe
“you should have some company”
and i forget to mention that i wish it was you

so instead i laugh and swoon on the phone with a former lover
taking a break every so often
send a text that i’m still eloquently walking,
my heels writing love letters to you

take it east
where the girls all sleep with monograms stitched onto their pillows
and to the south where loving requires a ring
and i’m draped across my bed, naked, breathless
you’re here, you’re here, in the east, in the south
and i let you live inside of me for one night

so i’m folding my naked, once pure, body in half
asking for refunds for the morning afters-
when you didn’t take me to breakfast
or even kiss me, my forehead, my wrist

you only love me at night with whiskey
whiskey breath and whiskey ****
the morning after, the morning after