God,
I have been so self-centered
focused on me all day long
as if I'm God
as if my ways are right and just
Or, at least,
more important than anyone else's
As if,
I matter more
or my little world even
matters at all
You know, the one where
I'm on the throne and
You give me glory
That world doesn't exist,
but I pretend it does
I live like it does
so often,
too often
Live for my comfort,
live for my fame,
ruled by my "right" to
"my rights"
as if they existed, when really
I surrendered my rights
the moment I
surrendered to You
Yet
I'm trying to take them back
as if my will mattered
or my ways were
right and true
Righteousness
is from You alone
Self-righteousness, the burden
on my back, take
this burden away
The sin I carry
Lord,
I need you now
Direct my thoughts away
from me and my selfish ways
where I care more for
my comfort than
the people around me
Turn my face to You
Only there do I find rest
my peace is in You
And when my eyes are fixed
on the throne
Yours, not the one I
try to construct
Then justice rolls down
mercy will I see
love, an outpouring
of the Love that's been shown
to me
Grace will I give, for
You gave it to me
And my world will shrink
never more to be seen
consumed by your
all-consuming, gracious sea
Lord,
help me
help me be
like You
I've been reading through the book of Psalms in the Bible recently and realized, I'm essentially reading someone's journal. David's poems were the prayers, praises and petitions to the Lord he wrote down, now there for us to see. They are powerful because they are raw and real, deeply honest and vulnerable. They speak to where David was at in moments of doubt, hope, desire, joy, heartbreak, failure, brokenness. They speak to us because we can identify with them. We understand his words of peace, lying down in green pastures and beside quiet waters, finding refuge in a God who is ever-present in times of trouble. We can identify with the moments when David cries, "Lord, where are you? Why are you silent?" We all have moments of doubt. Moments when (if we are really honest) we wonder if God is even there, or if He is, if He actually cares. The trouble is, we often aren't willing to vocalize those fears and questions because we aren't comfortable with the vulnerability, or not always having it all together. This is why David's words resonate with so many people in different stages of life and places of faith. Because it's David speaking to God exactly what is on his heart. With all of that in mind, I want to share a prayer/poem I wrote down recently as I sought the Lord in my brokenness and wrongdoing.