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375 · Sep 2012
Drifting
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
In my heart I know we'll drift apart,
But I want it to be like it always has been,
I'm scared to see that we might not be,
The people we thought we were,
I want our lives to stay the same,
But truth states that we always change,
Even if we never see it ,
It's there and it can't be stopped ,
So hold on to those few precious moments we had,
Because once we start to drift,
The ocean will not be so kind to float us back ashore
375 · Jun 2013
Watching it Sink
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
My porcelain heart
Is broken again
I glue the parts
And hold it in
The hurt the tears
and all the pain
The roaring storming
That begins to rain
The things that make you so right
And the things that make you so wrong
The stupid things we chose to fight
And one beating heart that made us so strong
But thats thrown away not spared a glance behind
Its thrown far into the waves, and left me dying inside
375 · Aug 2014
A Slave for You
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2014
Go to school
Education is the key
It will give you
All that you need

Get a job
The money is worth it
It will buy all you want
As long as you don't spend it

Work
Learn
Work
Learn
When do we sleep?
Where is my life
Why do I weep?

They say cash is the prize
Work is the goal
But if these ambitions keep digging in
My heart won't be a whole

Work to the grave
Because really I'm just a slave
374 · Dec 2013
What Is Living?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
What is life?
What defines living?
Is it the labored breaths,
that fill weak lungs?
Or is it the rush,
that fills frozen viens?
Is it the feeling of love,
or the feeling of pain?
Is it the swish of long hair,
or the curve of small hips?
Is it soft skin,
or soft lips?
Is it  what we wear?
Or how we talk?
Is it who we are,
or how we walk?
Tell me because I'm unsure,
do we really know the answer,
to what defines anything anymore?
373 · Dec 2012
Music up loud
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
When I cry I have to hide
Afraid of what others might see
When I'm so vulnerable
When my walls break down
When I let go
Can't stomach that I'm only human
That I hurt that I have feelings
I only want to be numb
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my grip
So close I might slip
Don't want to feel love
Rage is In my grip
Burning burning
Heating up
I'm dying dying
Falling out
Crying crying
I won't be fine
I'm done with rules
I don't care
I won't care
I done so done
I'm losing my sight
The walls have gone red
My heart is dead
Turn my music up loud
And walk the streets
Put away fear
I can't afford to feel
370 · Nov 2013
Put Down The Sword
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2013
There is something lurking so deep inside of me,
that just doesn't feel right.
Maybe it's from always expecting
that I have to fight.
I just want to give in
and put down my guard
Why does that have to be so hard?
I'm working my hardest on opening up to people, and not shutting them out. So far it's been going well.
370 · Mar 2013
The Sun is Here!
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
The sun is back!
I feel it rain down on me
I smile back up at the sun
And let it soak into my veins
The snow still remains
I feel the dark days melt along with it
I lay there, even though the ground is wet
And look at the sky
Wondering
Are they watching down at me?
Can they see what I cannot see?
Do they hear what is hidden behind words?
Do they want to help?
I can feel the sun brush my skin
I can feel the hope regrowing in my heart
Maybe I can start anew
Breathe fresh air
Now that I can feel the sun
And smile back too
368 · Oct 2020
Misfit Mania
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2020
I put up curtains
So the sun couldn’t seep in
To hide the fact
That my pain was slowly leakin
Bleeding out
Felt like I had nothin to believe in
Opened up
And got kicked in the teeth when
I only had love
But soon jealousy would sneak in
We tried to front
But our hearts were only seekin
Custody of love in its entirety
And not just on the weekends  

And though we had it
It was laced with irony
Because love will slowly morph
Into a monster that tries to swallow me
And it’s not under the bed
Like they say in the movies
This **** lives in my head
And tries to control me
Like a puppet to its master
I feel strings at my throat
Because my emotions are always faster
Than I can cut the ropes

I’m a hopeless romantic too
In this wicked wild game
Which makes it hard for me to part ways with you
Because I feel this overwhelming shame

Because I’m mostly hopeless
When it comes to love affairs
Let the romantic slip my grip
When I feel like you don’t care

All I want is to know you love me
And to always prove I love you too
Because if you’re my reckless decision
I’ll always continue to choose you

Like a drug
You’re my strange addiction
I’m in constant need of you
A prisoner to loves conviction
Too blind to see the truth
That I’m not that wise
I’m infected by my youth
But I have to survive
And what else can I do?
But fight to stay high
And keep acting aloof

Here’s the proof

I once said ignorance is bliss
Until I learned the hardest lesson
That There’s love in every kiss
You can save the vague confessions
And there it is again
It’s slowly creepin in
The jealousy that takes my words
And slides out from my pen

I suppose thats my fatal flaw
Which adds development to the character
So I should be real evolved
Because I’m full of flaws and failure

Yet I try to give my all
In everything I do
But I always hit a wall
Wandering Far into the blue  
Lost Looking at the stars
To tell me what to do

It’s the only place that ever feels  like home
I Can look up at the sky at night
And not feel so alone
So i wonder if the constellations
Can give me a consolidation
On the humiliation,
of my constant reconciliation
With my own temptation
Think I love living in damnation

I’m never patient

Remember I said emotions rule my world
twisting and turning my thoughts
Watch them twirl
Might give em a whirl
While they swirl
Out of my brain
In the form of rambling words
Maniac is the strain
Roll it up and lick the wrap
Spark it up and smoke that


Expand and deflate
My lungs are irate
Might choke up on the sentiment
And start to suffocate
Cause thoughts can be killers
They’ll cut the brakes too
When your mind is going 100
And there’s nothing you can do
Heading straight into traffic
Your heart will start to race
And you quickly start to panic
Now it’s terror on your face

Hear the glass around you shatter
Feel it digging deep within
Now the thoughts that never mattered
Are carved into your skin

Tear drops turn to Whiskey
They fall so fast these days
Please tell me that you miss me
To help and ease the pain
367 · Feb 2013
Dancing in fire
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Set the roof on fire....
It's a party in hell
Let the music inspire...
And then the roof fell
Dance beside the flames
Dance beneath the light
Dancing without shame
Below the stars tonight
Closer time pulls us in
And the music starts to get inside
And this ambush of feelings begin
And I don't even want to hide
367 · Feb 2013
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame

Burry me beneath the Willow tree
Hold your tears, do not cry for me
Cast my soul along the river
Bite your lip, do not quiver

Don't bring me flowers to show your love
I will always see from high above
Don't cry for me, many a night
For when you're blind I'll be your sight

Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame
366 · Jan 2013
Get lost in the party
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Music fills my viens
Music cleans my pain
These wounds across my soul
Are gaping open , a widening hole
I dance with tears in my eyes
I dance to escape, to a new high
To forget the world behind me
To forget the things I see
I dance until my heart might burst
To forget the painful thirst
I dance tell I lose my way
I dance from night tell day
So lost in this party
Please, don't try to find me
366 · Feb 2014
I Want To Love You
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
Forgive me love
when I tear your heart out of your chest
Please love forgive me
I do it for the best

Don't cry for me
I'm a long way from being saved
And anyone close to me
Won't leave unscathed

I bleed the venom
That my actions speak
But inside my heart is frozen
Vulnerable and weak

I crumble beneath your eyes
So full of things I won't say
I sit filling the gaping void
Wishing this agony away

I can't love anyone
I can't even love myself
I want so bad to love you though
But wishes aren't granted in hell.
365 · Sep 2012
There when you need me
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Come to me when you are sad
You can yell and scream when you're mad
I'll be that shoulder for you to cry on
I laugh with you and listen when you need someone
Time will pass and heal your wounds
But untill then I'll be that tune
The one you go to when you need to escape
Ill check on you when I see your broken
I'll defend you, you're a golden token
Don't ever let anyone tell you less
Because you my friend are the best
365 · Sep 2012
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Tonight I'm leaving
I won't be back
I won't look over my shoulder
I can't stop
Hesitate
Falter
I have to walk
I've been slowly diminishing away
As I've sat here
Pretending
Like I don't need
Like I am above pain
But truth is
I'm dying
I hate the snickering voices
In my head mocking me
I used to think I would be okay
But I'm not!
I won't be!
And this pain emanating from me
No one seems to care
Or feel
I wish I could continue on
A perfect lie
But within every lie is a small truth
My truth is untold
360 · Apr 2013
Symphony of Love
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Softly my heartbeat
Each beat a note to my symphony
Of love for you
359 · Dec 2012
Different
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
My heart was bleeding out on the floor
A comment cut through to the core
My tears fell fresh with guilt and pain
I felt as if I'd been slain
My head hung low I burst inside
I wish that I could run an hide
Nobody ever said its easy to face your fears
Could leave the toughest man following a path of his tears
A bulletproof vest to protect my skin
Should've thought more about how my conscious ran thin
Slices right through me left me in the dust
I was looking around but there's no one to trust
I was living on the dark side all alone theses days
Could've gone home but I was determined to stay
Away from the light where I might see my shadow
Just to remind me of the person everybody knows
Confused and scared I lost my way
I was living in the dark determined to stay
Giving up a life full of richness
Because I could live knowing that I was different
359 · Dec 2012
No love left
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I've been waiting for you
You were halfway in my hand
Until she wanted you too
And you ventured to her land

And you thought you fell in love
And left me wasted at the end
And you that she was your love
Until you found it was pretend

Then you called me up with fake apologies
And you thought I'd take you back
I thought your were a disease
And I know this for a fact

I was through even though my heart broke
I was done though I wanted to cry
And when I turned around I chocked
And I thought I wanted to die

But your memories are gone
In the box in my head
When I said so long
And my love was truly dead
357 · Jul 2014
Immortal Minds
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2014
My bodies heavy
Craving sleep like a drug
Perhaps these pills coursing in my veins
Have no effect on my immortal mind

The mind that howls at the moon
While my mortal body begs for slumber
Begs these midnight hours
To release me from this sleepless prison

Day turns to night, night turns to day
And yet still my eyes remain open
My mind buzzing, buzzing, buzzing
Questioning me

The darkness strains my eyes
And this tiredness drains my limbs
Insomnia, I'm minutes away from crashing
Let me shut down!

But no my mind simply restarts
And I'm back to square one
In this helpless coma
Where my thoughts hold me hostage
356 · Nov 2013
Seasons of Pain
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2013
Break
In Half
Broken Dreams Everywhere
They Litter The Floor
I Can't Bare This Anymore
My Heart Is Bleeding Out Again
My Thoughts Are Breaking Out Of Me
They Say Bad Things Happen For A Reason
My Bad Things Happen Every Day Of Every Season
355 · Nov 2013
Monsters In Me
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2013
The nights turned black
the moon is dead,
The shadows rise,
come for your head,
don't scream,
they'll only smile,
don't make a sound,
they're coming
close your eyes
nevermore will they see
plug your ears
nevermore will they hear,
hold your breath
nevermore will they breathe
oh...
these monsters are me
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Shadows lurk in me, 
I am to scared of that particular darkness, to explore it, 
I wish someone would just take my hand, tell me I'm going to be alright, 
I want to be the one to be soothed, 
Always being the one to soothe others, 
I want to be the one to ask for help and receive, 
Instead of being the one to give it, 
I suppose I'm asking too much,
355 · Aug 2014
Knights of the Night
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2014
Night fell over the land
Washing it in it's foreboding shadow
The wind whistled a tune promising tragedy
The symphony of a thousand hooves beating the earth
Sang along with the gust of the nights frosty breath
Cries of war hanging overhead

"Here come the Knights!"
Men cheered as they readied for battle
Armor draping over flesh
Swords thrusting, piercing the sky

"This night our savior shall prevail!"
The men declared
Placing their souls in the hands of one
They hoist themselves upon their steed

"We ride tonight, We ride to fight!"
A roar of agreement breaks through the darkness
Cloaked in their will to live
They rode out with a thousand demons on their trail

"We will not surrender!"
They shouted a promise so thick with emotion
"We fight for our women, our children, our land!"
They cried a devotion only a warrior could hold
"We fight, our souls be ******!"
353 · Dec 2013
Murder
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Stare at the evidence,
that weapon you used to **** her.
The blood that stains the carpet,
the frantic smears of tears and fear.

Does it shame you,
knowing what you've done?
Are you guilty,
of what you've become.

Head lowered, eyes cast to the floor,
walking through all of these doors.
You can't look me in the eye,
or tell me why.

But you took her life,
with a dull jagged edge knife.
Buried in her flesh over again,
as she wailed for it to end.

You slung her up and tossed her down,
sealed the deal as you watched her drown.
Dusted off your hands and turned away,
did you think about the life you decided to take?
353 · Dec 2012
To let them in
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I could unlock the door
But would I be safe....
I could open my heart
But would I bleed.....
They pledge their love to me
But the glass is foggy
It's hard to see
How can I go in walking blind
To scared to say that I just might care
To sad to think I might not be there
I just want to trust
But to trust you must be whole
Tortured by demons of a frightful past
My first move could be the last
Every step so unsure
Unstable grounds
The air so thick all around
I might crumble beneath the weight
To let them in
I'll need the key
To let them in
I must see
352 · Oct 2014
Silence My Song
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2014
I woke up feeling wrong,
Looked in the mirror and felt unsettled in my skin
Who am I? Where did I come from?
Why do I question things? Where did answers begin?
Why do I speak?
Why is this voice a part of me
Is my soul a real thing?
Are they real, the things I see?
Where do I go when I die?
Is it blackness, a dark and endless sky?
Will I know I'm me when I no longer breathe?
Will I think about these unimportant things?
Will I remember my loves, my hardships. my joys?
Will I remember the things that fixed me and the things that destroyed?
How about my memories? Will they matter at all?
Do these events add up to my impending rise to fall?
Will I remember why I woke up feeling so wrong?
Or will the death of me silence my song?
352 · Jan 2013
Beautiful people
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
We all have our demons
We all have our flaws
We hide them so no one will see them
We all have our smiles
We all have our frowns
We all cry when no ones around
We all have our bruises
We all have out cuts
All of us, yes all of us fall down
But this all makes us human
This makes us real
Because to be alive
You have to feel
And sometimes it hurts
And we will bleed
But it's a part of life that we all need
To send in our minds
Our epiphany
And steer us to a new way
Every last single one of us
Are unique
We are all beautiful
Even if we don't know exactly who we are
351 · Feb 2013
Flowers for love
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Fragile flower
Bathing in rain shower
Soft red petals
Smooth and cold like metal
Frost at the tips
What's left of the sun it sips
This flower lives in cold
I don't know how it holds
But below our tree it grows
It's almost as if it knows
That my heart beats every day
In a rhythm for you to stay
And this flower never weeps
Never shuts its eyes to sleep
The flower wind can't shove
This flower is our love
351 · Dec 2013
Angel of Mine
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
The fog clears,
and you're standing there.
Wings spread out around you,
in your angelic beauty.

Your black hair is like oil in water,
against the ****** white of your wings.
They hover in the cool air above,
and your eyes, electric blue, pierce my own.

Never in my life had I felt so safe,
and yet know I was in terrible danger as well.
Danger of walking grounds
I had long ago taped shut with caution.

You were made up of every fantasy that lie beneath,
and yet I could feel that you were every fear as well.
The only question in my mind is,
are you my angel from heaven or from hell?
349 · Mar 2014
Living Among Wolves
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2014
Beneath the Evergreen trees
a desolate land buried beneath the frozen comfort of snow
lays a land trifled by the spirit of the wilderness
ringing out in a distance the serenade of howls

The clipped call of winged, feathered brothers
sing their forlorn songs
perched vulnerably upon a branch
high in the tree tops that brush the hovering clouds

The cold rages on like an unforgiving beast
It's icy breath consuming the lives of many
yet prospering the lives of many other

Misunderstood and hunted
by their brothers of two legs
they dwindle by a thin string
which weaves their fate

Thunderous footfalls beat the solid ground
demanding that it lay still beneath the wrath
of such powerful paws

The wolf in all it's glory
peers out from the thicket
curious to who is among them

Lifting their muzzles to the sky
they unleash a song so much more beautiful
and endearing than that of the greatest symphony

Warning the others that danger is near.
I found myself watching documentaries on wild life tonight, and found myself disturbed by the way animals are treated, hunted and misunderstood, chief among them being wolves. It breaks my heart :(
349 · Feb 2013
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Looming above the dirt bed where she slept
A silent raven with wings fluttering
The raven before her graveyard home wept
For the woman was always sputtering
Talked of her husband, never laid to rest
Said only a fool would not say goodbye
She always clutched the necklace on her chest
She would weep in her bed asking god why
So sad she had died with a broken heart
He vowed he would always stay by her side
He vowed they could'nt ever be apart
Even though her fragile body had died
So there before her, her husband would stay
Before the dirt bed where his cold wife lay
348 · Jan 2013
New to me
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
I opened my heart
To a new beginning
So you could have a fresh start
So your world might stop spinning
But as I layed out my walls
You pushed at me
And slowly I watched them fall
And it hurt to see
You couldn't wait for me to come along
You had to have it now
You couldn't wait long
You made me bow
You see I don't like this
I can't lay my head to the floor
I won't watch this
As you parade like a *****
To this man you only just met
To this guy you want to love
I can't approve this yet
Even if you want me too
It's you I vowed to protect
After every mans cold dagger
I will be there to help select
Incase you stagger
Just don't let me down
I don't want to cry
Don't make me frown
Don't make me die
346 · Feb 2014
The One That Stands Out
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
I stood out among the crowd
all dressed in white and black
most wore skirts, and button up shirts
there hair was tamed each strand tucked away

They all sang lyrics repeated
with no moral to the melody
and looked down their nose
at those sitting in wait of their turn

But I wore ripped jeans
a shirt bright as day
hair in unbound curls
and a smile as I went

I stood in front of the judge
and heard each snicker
and remark that my attire
was not suitable, and for that I would fail

At first it stung a bit
to hear how cruel they could be
but then I remembered
that I was the one standing
up there showing the world
that I am me

And I sang with confidence
that when I sat down
they would remember me

That girl with the crazy friends
and an outfit unlike the rest
but sang with her head held high
and was proud because
she was raw and true
and sang with the song
instead of just going with the motions.
So today I went to a Solo Ensemble Contest, and sang in front of a judge. I didn't dress up in the traditional black and white attire simply because I am not a person of tradition. It was a bit nerve racking to hear so many people comment on the fact that I didn't, but I am over it because I think I did well. I'm proud that I even dedicated my time to this:) It was an amazing experience.
345 · Mar 2013
Melting away
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
The sunlight of the fading day melted
Breaking off into a starry sky
Sometimes I wish I could disappear
Into nothing but the stars
So bright and beautiful
So beautiful
344 · Jan 2013
To have a friend like you
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Some may say we're weird
Maybe we talk to much,
That we say odd things
And that we're interested in all the wrong hobbies
That we aren't mature
And we're foul
Some may say that we're dumb
Because we choose to be unique
They pass judgement before they look
They throw it away before they read the book
Well I say I'm blessed for every flaw they say we own
To me they're  perfections
I'm blessed to have you all beside me
Blessed to be accepted
So happy to know that you're there
And that I'm here too
Because I'm happy to have friends like you
That can see through
To me
And I am not blinded and I can see
This is dedicated to my friends, without them I honestly don't know where I would be
Much love to all my friends
344 · Oct 2014
To Be Alive
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2014
Why does my heart hurt this much?
I'm young, but I feel so old
I am alive, but inside I'm cold

These tears fall so easily
It's burning my head
I am alive, but I wish I was dead

I can't medicate this ache
Uncured it throbs inside
I am alive, but I want to hide

Why does it hurt so much, to be alive?
342 · Jan 2015
Hollow
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
I wish I was  hollow inside
This pain might be easier to hide
But for now I'll ease my pain in music
The melody will drown my heart
It's fine because I don't want to use it
342 · Dec 2012
Free fall
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Snow fall
Trees tall
Sigh and smile at them all
Sky high
Big sigh
I wish I had the courage to fall
From the sky
Arms spread
Cloud bed
And dive
I am alive
So alive
I risk it everyday
Just to say
That I am human
342 · May 2013
No Ones' Home
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Breaking into myself
Every lock I had to pick
Every maze I had to get through
Just to open up the last bordered up door
And find out no ones' home
I'm all alone
Go figure
341 · Dec 2013
Written In My Scars
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
It's written in my scars
each one a tale of its own
Some speak of how I won
and some speak of how I don't
Each one gives me stregnth
to keep moving on
Each one reminds me
that misery only last so long
It's only bitter for a sour minute,
only cold while the wind blows.
It just reminds me that my dreams will follow
anywhere I go.
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2013
I placed my heart inside a box of steel
so that I would never feel.
I locked up all the chains,
so that I wouldn't feel pain.

I broke the key,
so no one could get to me.
I hid it deep inside,
where no one would find.

But you hold the map to my heart,
and the key that broke it open.
I should've known
I wouldn't be left alone.
It's been so long! I'm feeling so much better since I last posted on here. I've been writing more on a website called Wattpad, I'm absoultely in love with that website! If you want to read any of my work on there than heres the link > http://www.wattpad.com/user/TouchingMoons
Have a great day!:)
336 · Dec 2013
Dear Friend Misery
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Break me to nothing,
Burn me to ash
Cut me to pieces
Leave me for dead

I'll rise alive instead

Hit me and bruise me
Love me and leave me
Fill me then drain me
Take away my home

I'll live inside all alone

Give me a name then take it away
Give me hope then don't let me stay
Give me religion and tell me not to pray
Hold out your hand for me to take

Then burn me alive, left dead at the stake

I'll save myself
From the misery
335 · Jan 2013
Sonnet: Deaths knock
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
It was death who was knocking at my door
I had been trying to avoid his calls
I guess I really can't hide any more
It was a short walk, but a longer fall
And the leaves so sadly fall off the trees
Lives but a shadow at the brink of dawn
A soul that was captured has been set free
As the morning sun creeps on the front lawn
And so sorrowfully I hang my head
And await the reapers death painted claw
For this morning I awoke to be dead
For it has been the reapers scornful law
And death may come I have vanquished my fear
Silently may I hold my falling tears
335 · Dec 2012
House of forgotten love
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
This house was built of love
Every brick every stone
The top could touch the skies above
And there I wasn't alone

Until your hate broke it down
I thought we had it all
Until the bricks lie on the ground
And I watched the house fall

I just sat with our loves remains
Laying in my arms
The hurt and pain that left a stain
Left scars of harm

Perhaps I fooled myself with this
It was to much to believe
That thoughtful night, that one last kiss
It was easy to deceive

So now I'm homeless I walk alone
The shadows take me in
I wait for life on my own
Mournfully to begin
333 · May 2014
Fall away
Katlyn Orthman May 2014
Watch me wither and decay
As I linger and chip away
I'm fading from this place

My hearts fallen out of my chest
and I've tried my very best
to sew it back in

My soul is wearing thin
and I wait for it to take over my skin
As I fall apart

This sad song keeps playing in my head
As my conscious realizes I am dead
Buried deep beneath my sins

Take this empty shell of me
Twist it into to dust, you'll see
There's nothing left to give

I'm falling away
333 · Sep 2012
Haiku 2
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Hush of silent trees
Howl of the forlorn night
Cool hand of the wind
330 · Jul 2014
Like I Was Supposed To
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2014
Looking at you, looking at me
from the end of your gun
Eyes that used to search my soul,
the eyes that made us one
Now stare back at me in dismay,
so full of this sure terror seeping into my bones
It's too late to reason and much to late to run.
The arms outstretched are no longer my home

Your face sends my mind spinning
twisting this surreal moment until I could cry
The room moves while my feet
are planted onto the ground
Falling out of control
Like theirs no bounds

This bullet biting into my heart
it's shredding my flesh and devouring my emotions
But I stay so still
too void to make a commotion
I should have said it all
when my fingertips where so close to you
Should have said the words
Like I was supposed to do
330 · Dec 2012
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
In the end he sat facing a gun
He was scared of the end nearing to come
All the things he'd said that he had done
His war had been won
There was no victory in the end
There was no vulnerable princess to defend
Just a body wrapped up In a blanket
In the ocean is where he sank it
He shook and cried he lost control
The anger had ruled and taken a toll
And now he sat with his head in his hands
Not knowing where he would stand
At the end of the gun receiving?
Or pulling the trigger relieving?
328 · Nov 2012
The eye 's
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Darkness
Filled by eyes
Watching
Every move
Every step
They hide in the back of my mind
They eat me slowly
Dragging my torture on
So I won't forget they're there
How could I
When they won't leave me alone
I'm prisoned
By their glares
327 · Dec 2013
To Dream of Dreams
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
She slumps against the bar,
her head pressed to the sticky surface.
She sits at the table of broken hearts, and dreams.
She pours her sorrows in a shot glass too full,
and swears she'll never go back again.

He sits with a wounded heart,
drenched in a vague memory of what was happiness.
He fills his gut with the burning liquid he calls home,
and swears that life is better alone.

They sit with one dream or another,
shattered in a pile of wasted energy on the floor.
A hopeless beginning with no end,
that always began with "what if?,"
that exist with one closing door.

It doesn't matter,
when the lights go out,
and the spotlight moves on,
leaving you in a windowless room of smog,
no mind to what might be on the outside.

All there is, is the comfort of the wine that numbs the sting.
And a new dream of what the shattered one might bring.
325 · Mar 2013
Always alone
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
I want to love you
But I can't
Your my best friend
And though we call ourselves
Boyfriend, and Girlfriend
I don't feel it
I love you
But I'm not in love with you
It was out of angry emotion
I acted rash
I should've known
I'd be the one to crash
But when I see her
My heart beats
Inside I feel complete
Yet she's out of my reach
And I've pledged myself to you both
But it's time I say goodbye
I don't know why
But I can't be in love with you
And I cry
Because I try
Because I feel so wrong
Like a bad ending to a song
I don't know how to say goodbye
I don't know how to give up
I've been a failure all my life
But this seems to leave me torn
My depression leaves me worn
I haven't slept in three days
I've been thinking
Of you
And how I wish you'd leave
It's easier that way
If you don't stay
I should be alone
Like always
Always alone
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