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Katlyn Orthman Aug 2018
Beginnings and endings
Marked by unique tombstones
Each a fingerprint
Of great creators
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
I battle
My voice is weak
While SHE has been loud

Talking constantly
To bring me down
Speaking in tongues
That bring black clouds

My heart has beat
With bullet holes
Gushing inklings
Of doubt

Into my body
It took over me
Stole who I was
supposed to be

Took years off my life
In the form of
Smoke and knives

And now I talk back
At the one who
Brings me down

Now I scream back
Her voice
I drown

I'm me again
No one else is

I'm free again
These feet on
Solid ground
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
I'm sorry
For all the hate
All the anger
The confusion

I'm lost
Not very sure
Trying to keep up

Something new
Is around every corner
Sometimes sweet

It tests me
Test my love
My faith in myself

Its shaking me
Stirring me

But I still love
I forgive
I'll try again

So should you
I believe
I care

You can do it
The dream
Lives in our veins
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
When I awakened
There was nothing left
Not soul on Earth
Not a single breath

I looked outside
With dread and sorrow
At the empty streets
There is no tomorrow

My fingers shook
With fear and pain
To see my brothers,
Broken and slain

I am the survivor
The guilt came fast
How could I have lived
When all have passed?

I sank to my knees
My head back in despair
I folded my hands
And sent out a prayer

Please take me too
The guilt is too much
Without friends or family
Who're warm to the touch

An angel appeared
A bright swirling light
With a voice that said
"Please live and fight

Although the day seems dim
There is still hope to bear
For you're not the only one
Who wanders in despair

There is one more
Shes kind and not afraid
She will bring a light inside
That's just as bright as day"

I dared to rest my eyes
On the swirling mass of light
In its reflection
It was me ready to fight

I am kind and not afraid
I am as bright as the light of day
I am strong and I will fight
With all my heart and all my might
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2018
I am torn
Inside my head
Where thoughts are worn
And turned to shreds

This sunken heart
Inside my chest
Is torn apart
And laid to rest

Whispers call me
In depths untouched
Speaking calmly
In foreign tongues

I'm losing sight
I'm falling down
The light is bright
From on the ground

Goodnight I say softly
Goodbye I suppose
These sad atrocities
That I have chose

Have tucked me in
And closed my eyes
Where night begins
And I have died
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2017
There is a door in my mind
I don’t know who or what is behind
It’s dark and cracked open in spots
And through those holes it bleeds
Just like me
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2017
There's no silver linings
No light at the end of the road
And I've been searching
...all on my own

The trees are losing thier leaves
Much like I am losing my hair
And the grass is growing it's weeds
And I'm seeing things that aren't there

Its these chemicals balanaced in my mind
That prompts me to find
Such sad little beings
Who love and live
As thoughts in my mind

I'm seeing faces in the shadows
Love in darkness
And happiness with the smoke in my lungs

And I'm done

So done with this constant ache
This soreness in my head
This brutal awakening
That I am dead

Not physically so because I still breathe
But inside of me, I bleed

I look in the mirror
And hate what I see
"Well change yourself!"
But that isn't me

And now I'm slumped on the couch
Listening to slow songs
Watching the room spin
Out of control

Wishing these thoughts weren't there
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