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Katlyn Orthman Aug 2017
We open our eyes
Estranged and confused to the world around us
We lay bare and vulnerable
Wide eyed and easily frightened

Time elapsed
We're kicked and pushed
Loved and hated
Given hope
It's torn away

We still fight
Told of a light
That can bring us peace
Bring us deliverance
From the pain

We smile although at night we cry
That familiar sting in your eyes and nose
That tug at your heart
Which pulls you apart

We create bonds
Give our souls to one another
As we continue to fight
Our bodies sore
Our minds slightly broken

And then we close our eyes
Tiny lights dancing behind
Our eyelids
Slipping off like dew on a morning daisy

We begin again
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2017
The drain dripped lazily, like rain water, into the icy bath  
Dark circles dress beneath my eyes like storm clouds
The bathroom is black, except for the light shinning in from under the door
I sit submerged in the cold water, skin numb from the biting temperature
Fully clothed
It's 10 am
Monday
July

I have spent all my sadness
Saturated myself in it
Now all is left is the dark, and the loneliness
Each prowling around my mind
Growling

I stare up at the ceiling
No light
Only vague shapes
Creating themselves out of shadows
And tricking my eyes
Soothing my conscience

My heart is racing
My fingers shaking
Both arms are strewn along the sides of the tub
But despite the solidness beneath them
I'm floating
It's 11 am
Monday
July

Time is slipping by
My teeth are chattering
My toes are gone
My lungs hurt
From breathing

My eyes hurt too
I only feel physical pain
I sink lower into the coolness
My chin hit the surface
Then my nose
My eyes
I'm covered

I open my eyes against my bodies better judgement
It hurts them
But they already hurt
I already hurt
I open my mouth
Water breaks in
I scream
They drown
It's 12 pm
Monday
July

My hair drips into the bath water
I'm shaking
My throat hurts
My arms hurt
Still no tears
Where did they go?
It's 1 pm
Monday
July

The waters red
It's finally warm again
But my body is cold
My eyes stare at the ceiling
My lips are turning blue
It's ...
I'm
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2016
I
Feel Nothing
Inside My Heart

It
Deceives Me
Again

Breaking Me
So Easy I Bend

Leaving Me
Right Back At The Start
Of It All

This Madness I Hide

It's Swirling

Dancing

Crying Inside

Save Me

From


Myself
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2016
I used to believe we were miracles
A gift of the stars above
Yet now my heart grows weary
As I feel the absence of love

The beauty which used to replenish us
The passion which used to revive
Is drowning beneath the anger and lies
I wonder, will it survive?

Such horrible miracles we've become
So deranged and mangled by greed
Is love a shimmer of light in the dark
To which our souls long to lead?


Peace so shriveled and distant
A memory I look upon fondly
A smile so timid, and longing
Whishing that maybe it'd find me
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2016
In silence I only hear my thoughts
The overcrowding of voices in my brain
The overwhelming rush of blood in my veins

I breathe deep

In silence I only hear your voice
Echoing in my head
The overcrowding feelings
Coat my heart in cement

And in the darkness I only see your memory
A faint light tethered to my heart
Beating in accordance to yours
Which used to beat alongside mine

And we were dreamers in the night
With wide ambitions and future sight
And now we're silent screamers
We're locked away

With so many opinions
and so much to say
yet my mouth is sewed shut
By the voices that play on repeat inside my head
they play and play and play and...

In the silence all I hear is you

In the silence which has become so loud
I feel lost inside this imaginary crowd
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
The flowers were tinged in red
The all mighty has fallen again
A dark ring has fallen around the sun
It grows bigger as each day is done

Shadows linger where we used to be
Our dreams casted out into the sea
And the indigo moon is hoisted up high
As it watches the light in our eyes die

As it watches the leaves fall from trees
A place our hopes used to be
In the branches of the old kings and queens
And the Earth opens up wide to swallow me

My lungs fill with dirt decay
In this soil belly where I lay
I feel the soil sink between my feet
In a place where light and dark will always meet
A  sullen smile as raindrops fall in reverse
And I forget all that I have rehearsed
The role I play has gone off script
Somewhere down the road I had tripped
And now my heart beats but it skips

Hopscotch heartbeats and sunken in eyes
Why did the sun and moon die?
Where are the stars that once shined so bright?
The emptiness is just not right

And now I sleep beneath indigo skies
My eyes shut tight
And now I have indigo dreams
They're full of tangled webs and screams
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