Frozen tears float round and round
as whirls of butterflies scatter away.
In gleaming dance they descend to the ground,
blown by the blizzard, forlorn and astray.

Sawn off butterflies shoot between the sun,
cradled in your breathing,
half hearts and the senseless beating of wings ceases…
as stained glass lies fallen and broke,
warm in your hands
cold in your heart,
cradled in your breathing,
the beating of wings
lies broken.

Close your eyes. Dream…
The snow is falling just like leaves.
Things are sometimes not what they seem.
Innocent dreamer, look what you’ve done:
You’ve opened your eyes and eclipsed the sun.
Now ashen roses rain on the fields.

Winter’s city-wide.
Crystal bits of snowflakes
like butterflies
fly all around
in my head.
Close your eyes and feel:
Memories,
as stained glass lie fallen and broke,
warm in your hands,
cold in your heart,
cradled in your breathing,
and beating of wings
lie broken.

Do butterflies scream when they burn on the lamp?
My thoughts are hurting in this clamp
That is my mind.
So many of them left behind.
My mind has gone south for the winter.
Mandalas made of cat skins haunt my slumber
So many nights I've lost
It's not a number.
I'm a ghost
Of what I almost was.
Our memories are made of smoke
That I've inhaled so much, I'll choke.
Please put the furniture back the way it was.
When the alcohol drowns my thoughts
I won't be afraid of the dark anymore.
Please turn off the lights before you leave,
I can't stand the butterflies screaming.

Thank you for the love that almost was.
You've been a nice and gentle man
And offered more than I could dream
But alas, I'm not what I seem
It's not my fault you lived a dream
About a love that almost was.

I have to leave you now, my dear
Why must all men be only boys?
You think we're all your little toys...

You are so young, so immature!
Your choking love I can't endure but I could never tell you, not a single word.
You've cut my wings, a crawling bird I'm when you keep me in your thought.
It's not my fault I love you not.
I'm sorry, but my answer's no
And well...
For this I have to let you go.

It all started with the end.
No need to pause or play pretend
All people close their eyes, my friend.

In the cold **** pavement the rain wrote my last words.
Our words never human
that only the birds
will remain to sing again.
My last words for you
are not for goodbye.

I never left you to die
as you had me to.

Forsaken our moments
shall never be
as today when you left
I ripped out from my chest
All that I am.

I am now more you than I am me
because you drowned me in pain.
Hope you shall come back again.

Your best imaginary friend,
Ben.

The night is almost quiet. Crickets I don't mind, but the cars, they don't belong. The night is alive, but life feels like it's being drained by a monster of tar that swallowed the city. I feel alone in this hell hole even though others are ****** to be here, just like me. Their presence is futile, I'm as alone with them as I am without everyone.
Were you ever real? What if life is just a dream and waking up is just this solitary we're confined to sleep in like rats in cages? A sardine in a can packed with sardines is feeling lonesome. Who gives a ****?
Am I even real?
The ticking of the clock makes me smile thinking this all will go away. Wishful thinking. I'm lonely, not stupid.
The sirens are deafening. The words are soggy like someone spilled cheap alcohol on them. The thoughts are cloudy.
The seconds die, one after the other and I'm still alive. Being alive hurts. Tonight I feel alive.