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And it's okay
if you flinch
every time he moves
his hands too fast

because in another time,
you were just
defending yourself,
and that is all right.

And it's okay
if you still skip class
every once
in awhile

because in another time,
that was the only time
you could catch a break,
and that is all right.

And it's okay
If you stay up all night-
making friends with
your bedroom walls

because in another time,
sleeping meant dreaming,
and all you really wanted
was reality,
and that is all right.

It will all be okay
in the end.
 Feb 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Jade Anne
i’m sorry that loving a girl with anxiety was hard

i’m sorry that i was constantly worried about what you were doing and where you were and who you were with

i’m sorry that i felt like i needed you constantly when you didn’t need me and it pushed you away

but was i so wrong for doing so when i guess my anxieties were right because you were prancing around behind my back with her and you were always the one putting on me ‘after this long you don’t trust me?’

what a poetic lie that you got away with for far too long
(j.a)
 Feb 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Talula
I keep telling myself
Don't cry
Don't cry
Hush little baby,
wipe those tears from your eyes
I know you told
Some pretty lies
But now is not the time
To break and fly

Hush little baby,
It's gonna be okay
Things will get better
Eventually
I know it hurts
Really bad now
But you never know
How things'll turn out

Hush little baby,
Take a deep breath
Before you can't
Ever again
Just calm down,
Dry those tears
I'm sure someone
Is still there

Hush Little Baby,
Don't say a word
The more you say
The more you'll hurt
It's better that you try to forget
Just wait until the end of it
 Feb 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Courtney
first a date, then a kiss
love songs are made of this
you’ll say I’m beautiful
I’ll love your smile

you’ll promise crazy things
I’ll dream of diamond rings
we can be innocent
just for a while
 Feb 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Just Melz
It can only be stitched together
          with understanding
   The holes filled
               with trust
        And the missing pieces replaced
                    with love
            
             But a Broken Heart will always
                         remain *broken
Sometimes, I look at you and I can't speak.
Once in a while, it's because I'm marveling
At what a work of art you are.
Now and again, it's because
I want to hold your hand.
Occasionally, it's because I want
To feel your arm around me.
And once or twice, it's because
I want to kiss you.
Mostly though, it's because
I start to feel like I'm dying.

There's something that stabs into me,
Twisting my heart
And muddling my mind.
That's usually due to a couple of things.
One: I miss you more than I can explain.
Or two: you forgot about me.
Sometimes it's both.

I know you never really forget about me,
But it feels that way.
We're sitting five feet apart
And you don't look my way once.
I challenge myself not to look at you for a minute,
Then two or three, four or five.
Because every time I glance your way,
You're laughing at something someone else said.
Another person made you smile.
You're so wrapped up in other people
That I slip your mind.

And that's totally normal.
It's to be expected.
I know it's weird,
And it's probably wrong,
But I think about you all the time.
I wonder what you're doing
And how you feel.
I hope that you're doing okay,
And that you're thinking about me.

Sometimes when I get upset
I want to see you so badly.
Want to talk to you,
Hear you say my name.
Hear you say that it'll be okay.
That always helps.
To feel your hand on my shoulder
Or even better,
To find myself wrapped in a hug.
You have the power to make things better.

You matter to me a lot,
And I know you so well.
There's always a joke to be made,
Or a smile to be shared between us.
Those times are the best.
But then, sometimes
I look at you and I can't speak.
 Jan 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Vanessa
I emptied an entire tank of gas driving on roads I've already taken.
Each time around looked different, Each time around even felt different. Like the seasons, one make you feel something unique from the other.
You'd think I learn my lesson by now,
Each new year my clock resets and I can start again.
Back in the place where I began with you.
I mean rally what else can I do?
I never understood how to live without you.
 Jan 2015 Katelyn Knapp
Kur
used to think I couldn't go a day
without your smile
without telling you things
and hearing your voice back.
Then, that day arrived and it was so **** hard
but the next was harder.
I knew with a sinking feeling
it wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event.
It doesn't just happen once.
It happens over and over again.
I lose you  every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug:
whenever that one song plays on the radio,
or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.
I lose you every time I think of kissing you,
holding you, or wanting you.
I go to bed at night and lose you,
when I wish I could tell you  about my day.
And in the morning,
when I wake and reach  for the empty space across the sheets,
I begin to lose you all over again.
I would like to share one of my favorite poems. This is written by Lang Leav, part of her newly released book, Lullabies.
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