No words
will ever be
enough.
To express
what goes on
in my head.
The thousand
storms.  
that rise and
fall.
While I lay
in the
dark.
Thinking
too hard
about all that’s
scarred.

I can't fix your hope
if its shattared or broke
Can't change where you've been,
where you're at
or where your going.
If you decide to be taken
by ocean or pavement
needles in the basement
or another definitive arrangement
I can't stop you,
though I hope you'll pull through
perceive a different view
find a strength within you.
Life's got more to give
but you've gotta
build your own  bridges
to reach where it is.
I can't do this for you,
but I'll be here if you need me too
even if it's just to shoot the breeze or to lean on

Please be careful. I know his intelligence is intoxicating, and his presence is a drug that refuses to leave my system and in return give me side effects. Wonderful, wonderful side effects

But stomach, you will ache for days at a time. Pounding wings against your sides send sharp tinges of amusement through my body. He's not the first boy to give you butterflies, but he is certainly the first to let lose a zoo.

Arms, stop pulsating for just a moment please! I know you need to soak up his embrace, but it will only leave burn marks on the skin. He is a hot coal, brutally beautiful, and it will only leave you with a scar.

Oh, but eyes! You see him so differently. An elegant light surrounds his frame, and every imperfection is that much more entrancing to you.

My poor brain. Thumping emerges and the blissful images of his smile refuse to dull. I beg you to stop thinking. Of him. Of me. Of us. Stop thinking of him, when in the brilliant ocean of his mind I am not a single wave.

I just need to close my eyes and forget...drift off .... but it's hard to sleep when your mind is at war with your heart.
Heart.
      Heart.
           Heart please stop buzzing at uncontrollable rates. His enthralling outlook is no reason to go into cardiac arrest. I promise you, as much as you hope and pray, brain is right. He'll end up being like all of the others, and I don't know how many more times I can pick you off the ground.

His presence is a drug, and I'm addicted to every part of it

Update: I overdosed

Dear God, I need a moment
I know it's been a while
You know I do not go to church
That just is not my style

I do not pray like others do
I believe in what is right
So, God I ask you hear me
On this dark and lonely night

I do not ask redemption
I'm too far gone you know
I'm not one who is worth saving
Deep down you know it's so

The people who are righteous
Who are here to spread your word
Are wolves wrapped in sheep's clothing
Working hard to fleece the herd

I'm not one who will follow
I don't buy the tales they sell
When I am dead and buried
I'm not in heaven but in hell

I'm cutting out the middle man
For they don't own my trust
They're ******* their believers
They use your name with every ******

I hope that you can hear me
Though I've used your name in vain
They confess and pay their penance
Then they do it all again

If the only way to heaven
Is to buy a ticket in
Then I guess I'm well committed
So, I'll live my life in sin

The sinners should be punished
I know you and I agree
But, who made them judge and jury
Who chooses what they see?

Dear God when all is finished
My soul is mine alone to lose
But, where I spend my future
Is up to you to choose

So, God, I'm here just talking
Not confessing to my sin
I'm not here to say I'm leaving
I guess, I'm only checking in.

you know
i waited for you.
like a child waiting for the first day of school, the coming of Santa Claus or the first snow.
you didn't come.
eh, i am not going to get mad just because of this.
but i'm still thinking
if you're okay,
if your smile's the same or
if you got new wrinkles on your face...

You're fine, I know that!