A circle so soft,
I wept tears of happiness,
Finally I’m home.

I am the very last words
you will utter,
for unrequited love aren't destined to be just a sad ending.
I am the profound being
of what you lost,
and I am also the meaning  
of love in your eyes.
but never will be in your
heart and soul;
for what you seek is a lost angel
like you.
I am a demon that invades
your mind,
the reason why you did not
and will never choose me.

-A.X

When you say "I love you",
Do you really mean you love me?
Tell me because I need a guarantee.

I cannot lie.

I think of you
before I fall asleep
where in my mind you still creep
I think of you
where the happiest moments lay
underneath warm afternoon rays
I think of you
even through the sea of bottles,
a facade on full throttle
I think of you
when I try to restore
and move on with the boy next door

and I can only cry.

6th grade... we were friends
7th... we were best friends
I remember the day
We decided
How our lives were going to continue
together
inseparable
classmates thought we were twins
8th grade... we grew closer
I told you I needed you
I cried in front of you
I revealed my biggest secret
to you
and with your help
I came out
but then
you found others
and our circle grew
It was okay
for a while
but as you became extroverted
and popular
and liked
I became an outcast
I didn't realize it at the time
But it was so obvious
At the end of that year
I started to see
How you thought I was clingy
Messed up
A burden
You were my only friend
And you hated me
But you were too nice to let me know
The last day of school came
we promised we'd get together
but days came and passed
I never saw you
you never texted
9th grade has come
you don't even look at me like a friend
I had a panic attack today
in front of you
not intentionally
but I would have hoped you could have helped
and you just watched
as I burned from within
I knew for some time
but now its all to obvious
You never liked me
You never will
But really
you were all I had

Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd do nothing.
I wouldn't skydive
I wouldn't travel
I wouldn't do everything
I've ever wanted to do.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd do as always.
I'd get up
I'd read my bible
I'd go to school
and have an average day.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd act as normal.
I'd smile to others
I'd say "hello"
I'd do my best
as I try every day.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd tell no one.
I wouldn't shout it
I wouldn't scream it
I wouldn't sing it
from every single rooftop.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd never know it.
That's why my usual
day to day consists
of all things I love
the very most.

If tomorrow were my very last
what I do today would be enough.
It would make me smile
It would make me laugh
It would make me happy
Because I have learned always
to be content in the ordinary.

I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.