I will tear you apart with my teeth and use your splintered bones as toothpicks before the trial
clean your blood from under my fingernails
your blood so rich and red will drip from the corners of my mouth
so thick and sweet looking
boiled till you blister
sweaty exterior sweeter than the scent of fresh peaches
but the inside was more acidic than I could define
sweet and fresh exterior for a decaying heart
I devoured everything you had to offer
without another thought
except for
I wish I had known

and so today i drew open the curtains of my ribcage and i brushed the dust off my heart and i forgave you.

— an excerpt from a letter to you

i would follow you to the ends of the earth
just to gaze upon your face
to trace the lines of your cheek
with the back of my hand
your eyes are a sea of green and they welcome mine as
our fingers interlock
on a blanket
made of purest heaven

we collided in more ways than one.

how do you love something back to life?
how do you heal someone who is unrepairable?
what do you rely on? what do you use?
hope is merely but a bandaid on a broken bone.
no amount of love can fix what was already broken.

we were broken from the start;
nothing more and nothing less.
we built our love on a foundation of false hope.
nothing more
and nothing left.

You asked me why I love you
And here’s a couple of reasons why:

You hold me like you can feel the
World, twirling on its axis
And if you let go we will both start spinning in an unending dance
And as we drift and glide among the stars we will slip and slid in the affections of the heart.
So instead you hold me
And I hold you, as if I never want to let you go, because while the stars are breathtaking, they lack the warmth of home. And while the dance is dizzying it’s hard to breathe without you.

Your eyes.
I could go on for days about your eyes. They entice me in their depths. The way the sunlight hits them in a wave of golden sparkles and then, you smile and I feel like i have a sunset for blood and a stardust heart. The way they light up as you behold the world.
The way your pupils dialate when they behold me. As if I am a star bright enough to burn away the world until it is just a breath, and a blur of color between our heart beats.

Your voice.
The way it rises and falls with the crisendo of your emotions. The way your breathing breaks up the beat of a steady sentence. The way it caresses my name like the breeze caresses a lilac blossom on a spring morn. The way it lulls me into a dreamy trance from which I have no desire to escape.

Your heart.
The way it’s song shifts, and tempo picks up, just a bit as I run my fingers over the smooth surface of your skin. The comforting rhythm beneath my ear as we match breathing before falling into dreams grasp. The way your heart strings tug and tangle when you fall in front of someone in need. How it pangs for those who have more misfortune then you. The way it’s song floats around me like wishes on the wind and tangled with my own until my own beat seems infinitely more beautiful and alien at the same time.

I have this irrational fear
That you will leave me
To chase after a brighter star.
And I don’t know how to react
But I do know, that if you did..
        I would let you.
And every night I would look up at the moon and we would agree
that you and the sun are alike.
Both so pretty and both just out of reach. And I would find solace amoung the moonbeams as I watch you spin dazzlingly amoung the sun as you dance between the stars.

i feel the weight of the universe
expanding in my lungs
pushing outward until it fills
the cracks and the spaces
between my ribs
i collapse outward in a scream
formed of stardust
bursting from me in a flood of emotion

i am too full for this hollow body
i am too old for this frame
i am too vast and ancient
to be contained
in a form that is not the sprawling forest
branching out at the roots
a living organism spanning miles
i stretch my arms wide
and touch the edges of
my feeble human consciousness
i **** at the heavy fabric
of the stage curtain
i rip it from its hooks
and stare at the vast nothingness beyond
and i feel infinite infinite infinite

i stare past the stars and the galaxies
and the thick clouds
birthing life from nothing
and i feel myself
unmade
the universe at home in my chest
spreading and pushing and ripping
until my skin
separates from my flesh
separates from my bones
and i am three incomplete lives
on the cold tile floor

i have lived through ages
i have lived through empires
i have lived through
the fabric of the universe
ripping at the seams and
bursting in a flash of light
to create life and vast nature
and love love love

your name rips its way
past my lips in a scream
and i am forced
to face my shortcomings
in the echo of words and
lips on lips on lips
feeling fading but never fast enough
to forget

i curse the day i ever saw your face
and found it kind enough
to smile at
i curse the moment i ever realized
you were worth the wait
because you may be worth the wait
and the pain
and the heartbreak
but i am worth stars
and galaxies

i am worth the creation of worlds
and endless life
and places too real and
immensely powerful
to be contained in a word
i am alive
i am alive

and i intend to stay that way