Joyce: Favorites

Oct 2018 Joyce

old art.

Oct 2018 Joyce

kgl

old art.

the words used to flow like silk through my fingertips
i used to know exactly how to weave them
make them fall into tapestries, hang them from walls
emblazoned with unadulterated innocence.

it wasn't until you asked to look at my creations
that i realised sunlight could be so damaging
my words felt frivolous under your scathing gaze
and they stuttered, crumbled. my tapestries fell.

now they're dust and i'm on my knees, crawling
grasping fistfuls that seep through my hands
you can't write about something you can't feel
and now i can't feel anything.

this is the last poem i'll write about you.

#love #heartbreak #words #depression #loss #poems #writing #strong #over #breakup

Oct 2018 Joyce

empty space

Oct 2018 Joyce

Willow

empty space

the word came out of your mouth
as sharp as a blade
and
easy for you to say
but hard for me to swallow

as easy for you to say
as it was for the three letters to
gut me from the inside
out

yes

i have come to hold animosity toward
the one syllable word.

my chest bursts open like
a black hole
******* every last bit of my happiness
away
gone into the never ending vastness
of darkness

i felt my lungs
collapse

but almost as if the word itself
had frozen my breath
as it left your lips

and with it went
my windpipe and lungs

you looked at me with those
crystal blue eyes
and my insides imploded, sending
each shard of ice
to poke and **** at my heart
just like

you.

W

#heartbreak #pain

Oct 2018 Joyce

9 Lives

Oct 2018 Joyce

Livia

9 Lives

I died before I met you
Only once prior
I recovered, got better, and made it through
Try to believe me, I know I’m a liar,
But I died once before I met you

I died the day I met you
Because my heart stopped beating
Your attractiveness too true
I was afraid to mumble a greeting
But I already died for you

I died the day after I met you
You wouldn’t get out of my mind
I got distracted – couldn’t make do
For someone like me, you were too kind
I died because I withdrew

I died a month later without you
I couldn’t even fight it
The fear stuck to me like glue
I started breaking bit by bit
I died when I wasn’t supposed to

I died a season later when you
Saw I was too broken to be fixed
I had a strong sense of déjà vu
But I was nevertheless transfixed
My death meant nothing to you

I died before I was friends with you
Your change of mind bemused me
Because you never used to
Listen to my sorry plea
I died when the world was no longer blue

I died two more times all because of you
You made me laugh, you made me cry
Until my world was back to blue
You clipped my wings so I couldn’t fly
My deaths were caused by you

I died a last time because of you
After we were long done
I saw you with another and trouble began to brew
While that’s all I ever was
I died because I wasn’t enough for you

Don't normally write rhymes, not too sure how it turned out.

#life #love #heartbreak #movingon #lose

Oct 2018 Joyce

conspiracy theories

Oct 2018 Joyce

labyrinths

conspiracy theories

is the illuminati real?
was 9/11 an inside job?
are we in love?

i keep saying "i don't know" like it's the only thing i do know - maybe i don't have the right answer but i've thought about it just as much as you think about glittery pink nails and tiny red bikinis on the beach in the middle of the day

do aliens live among us?
does reincarnation exist?
are we in love?

and maybe i don't know but i do know more than i don't know like the way you sent me that picture and said i was cute or the way the sky blinks at night a little too suspiciously to be a star. i know the names of all the planets and i know how to kiss like i'm in love

is there a God?
is the fluoride in our water harmful?
are we in love?

but I don't even know what the other side of the country looks like, let alone the other side of the world and i know a little but you know so much more and i don't know why someone so small needs someone so strong but i also don't know what it looks like to die.

is our fate decided for us?
what are they hiding in area 51?
are we in love?

when you look at me i feel like i could tell stories until my teeth cut through my lips and my tongue is bleeding from talking so much. it might not be love but it's blood pumping through my veins and working brain cells and beat beating against my rib cage, sweaty palms in the fear that you'll hold them, the fluctuation of a lifeline, you are my hospital waiting room where most of the people don't have to be there and go home. in a room full of hypochondriacs, i am the biggest one of all, diagnosing myself with a broken heart

was the moon landing staged?
how much does the government keep from us?
are we in love?

lol

#love #heartbreak #moon #relationships #stars #lol #idk #conspiracy

Jun 2018 Joyce

Facts about Sunflowers

Jun 2018 Joyce

rebecca suzanne

Facts about Sunflowers

We never took pictures together
because you don't like how big your eyes are
I would drown in them for you
but you would be too busy
watching the sunrise to notice.
You have glasses because you're blind
But they aren't the right prescription
because you still don't see your beauty.

I remember the night you had me drive
two hours away from the city lights
just so you could point out
all the constellations you memorized
when you were younger.
I let you go on and on about stars,
waiting for you to mention the way
you outshine all of them
But you kissed me instead
and I think that was even better.

Even when Summer faded out,
you would always smell like sunshine.
I wanted to live forever in the daydream
of you and me walking along the shoreline.
Your laughter was synonymous
with sunflowers
and how everytime you caught sight of them
you couldn't stop yourself from smiling.

But that should have been my warning sign
because Russia's official flower is the Sunflower
and ever since you left
I've traded water for *****
and this winter has been unusually rainy
but it's still too bright for me to go outside.

#love #life #pain #alcohol #loss #you #me #sunflowers

May 2018 Joyce

Sunset

May 2018 Joyce

a gale

Sunset

I have been watching
the sunset again.
Observing how it takes
a dip in the sea
coloring the sky orange.

I'm waiting for you
hoping to bump into you
Maybe you decided to watch it
as I was.
Foolish as it is
I did it anyways
carefully observing

as the sun bids me goodbye
it reminded me of you
that even though you were leaving
I still watched.
Hoping,
maybe this time
it ends differently,
it never does.

Don’t be bothered
I’ll get over it.

Soon,
I’ll laugh about it.

Soon,
I’ll stop looking for you
I’ll stop wondering where you are.
I’ll stop watching sunsets
hoping for you.

Soon.
I’ll get there, dear
Just not today.
Because today,
I’m still chasing the sun
making sure the sunset
never ends.

*a. gale

#love #goodbye #sunset #chasingthesun #mysunset