It's dark tonight
And I cannot breathe
The hands of time
Are slowly choking me
Tick Tick
Watch the color
Fade from my face
Tick Tock
Watch my body
Fall through space
Caught inside
These hands of time
Losing my grip
Losing my mind
Tick Tick
Why can't I see
What these hands
Want from me
Tick Tock
I'm fading fast
This life is just a memory
That can never last

I took something from you,
sweet stranger
you'll never get it back
the sounds of explosions
that causes the permanent
ringing in your ears
the weight upon your back
the smell of blood piercing your nose
the taste of ammunition
clenched between your teeth
the sight of your men falling to the earth,
never given a second chance
will never fade.
you cannot escape it, my friend
you had no choice
they had no choice
we never get to choose.

There are secrets that we never even give voice to,
Like squishing them inside ourselves will make them go away.
But, they don't need lyrics to have their own voice
-even instrumental pieces carry feeling-
And the music escapes when I open my mouth.
It tumbles out like a discordant symphony,
And I can't take it back.
I try, but I can't,
So, I stumble over the wreckage my silence has wrought,
Still denying the secret all the time.

*Maybe you know, now.
Regardless, consider this my confession.

We are the refused...

Barefoot in the marketplace
Born in the backseat
With minds erased
To hide dirt in the backstreets
And mud on the school steps

The fool in the textbook
Paints us inept
Tainted
******
Illicit natives
Miserable Misfits
Nothing the magistrates can't handle

OH!!!
They wish!
Suppress our melodies
But never break our lips

We are the misused...

Our eyes do penetrate
Every false-flag they perpetuate
Even though barbiturates
Are placed beneath our pillows
The shame billows
The shame follows
Rodents to the edge of the borough
Where men create addicts

There
Publicans turn
Badges burn
Magistrates press their shirts and hatch their eagles
Discernment is not taught
Nor is it learned

We are the obtuse...

Blacked out and abused!
Sold for pulpits and ocean views

Magistrates hate us
Their eagles circle to berate us
"Intolerant"
"Outdated"
"Unpatriotic"
"Ill-fated"

But by grace we persevere
By faith we adhere
To a higher truth
A purer view
Our strongholds are not stick
and stone
Chrome nor drone
But
Christ alone
Our strength and hope
Out hope for home

NOT polls and popes
NOT guns and votes
NOT Magistrates  and lazy legislations
NOT eagles which feed on
Desensitized demonstrations
Police brutality and assassinations
Nomadic nations
Sporadic speculations

We
The Refused
We
The Misused
We
The Obtuse
Will NOT cosign evil
Will NOT massage magistrates
Will NOT elevate eagles
We will NOT
We must NOT

I want you
But you don't want me
It wasn't easy knowing that I hurt you
I'm still not over you
I messed around
with the guy you hated
Just to get your attention
I wanted you*
So when you wanted to be friends
I was happy
But then I fell more in love with you
Everytime I talk you it hurts me
And as much as it hurts me to say this....
we can't be friends anymore*
Our friendship is making it harder
to move on

It hurt.
Like a deep aching in a heart, I never knew I had.
I cried.
Like a river flowing after a rain, that got too bad.
It stung.
Like a bunch of bees, defending
their stash of honey.
I yelled.
Like a lady, after someone had taken all her money.
It got better.
Like a rainbow coming, after a deadly rain.
I healed.
Like a women in church, after dealing with too much pain.

Joe was a guy with a great smile
In fact, every time he smiled
the whole world shined.
His warm brown eyes,
sparkled bright
they made me think,  
I was the only one around.

But Joe scared me
he got too close
He would ask all these questions
about who I was
   Where do you want to go?
        Who do you want to be?
            What do you dream about
              when you go to sleep?
                  What do you fear the most
                    can you tell me?
                       What's your future like
                        do you see me?
Joe patiently listened
at my attempts to answer
my replies were broken
kind of lackluster.
I didn't know who I was
I mean ...I still don't
and every time Joe looked at me
I just felt lost

He would call me in the mornings
and to say his goodnights,
But no matter how much I liked Joe
I was not yet where he was at.

So I said goodbye to him,
and proceeded my life
Leaving Joe behind me,
while he shined somebody else's life.