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 Feb 2014 Jocelyn Aguilar
Sjr1000
Step Right Up
Puts hair on your head
Grows neurons in your brain
Makes you take a dare
Connects you with
elves and faires
Turns your fears and anger
into a rarity.

Step Right Up
Dance with me
Dance with her
Dance with him
Spend a week there
one night.

Step Right Up
Gets your expectations
in line with reality
no rejection
All your relationships
will fall into line
Everybody is going to be kind
You're going to jump for joy.

Step Right Up
Money Love Sleep
They are all going to come your way
Open wide
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your hand
Close your eyes.

Step Right Up
A sucker's born every minute
A hustler's a thousand words a mile
We're pulling bucks
out of our pockers too many times to count
Trick and Trap
that's our motto

Step Right Up
Smile
Dial
Email
Text
Promises of total intimacy
and
total isolation
simultaneously

Step Right Up
We've been schooled
We've become tools
Whose the fool?
That's the ticket
Your number's up
Step Right Up
Thanks to Tom Waits: Step Right Up; Bill Maher: Trick and Trap; Pt Barnum: A sucker's born every minute.
And you
will slowly
fade
out of
my mind
similar
to how
I faded
out of
yours
years ago
and here we lay watching fireworks together
while i wonder if its the way we
hold hands delicately
that in this one moment
i'll remember forever
as i pay more attention
to the way the luminous colours
light up your beautiful face
than the shattering colourful stars
in the sky and
the way i hear your breath
getting caught in your throat in wonder and awe
after your favourite one
bursts again unexpectedly,
over the thundering noise it makes
leaving smoke in timeless space;
you do not realize how long i've
longed for moments like this or
moments with you in general
you do not realize how much
i doubted myself for you
ever
being
mine
tbh i only post my poems here to keep them safe from being deleted or something, it makes me uncomfortable that people may have read my past poems because i know i'm not the greatest at this but it is something i enjoy doing very much so.
 Feb 2014 Jocelyn Aguilar
R Saba
poetry should be you, on paper
in black and white
italic and bold
truth of some kind
or lies told to illustrate a story

doesn't matter, really
since poetry is transparent
opaque, solid or wavering
poetry should be fluid
weaving through the fingers and threads
of the lives of those
who have yet to be truly touched
by their own words

poetry should convince them all
to speak up
and listen
just sayin'!
There's a girl.
Everyday she sits in the back of the room.
Hiding.
Hiding from reality.
Hiding from the truth.
No one notices her.
No one even cares.

Everyday she goes home and cries.
Pours out her soul.
She screams in the pillow to muffle the sounds.
She no longer feels alive.
Numb to the world.
Numb to everything.
She feels nothing.

Slowly she gets up.
She walks to the bathroom.
In a trance.
She grabs the razor like she does every afternoon.
But today is different.
She's had enough.

She turns on the water and fills the tub.
Scalding hot.
Just what she likes.
She slips in and lets the water burn her.
Lets it creep into every scar.

Her skin's on fire.
But she could care less.
She won't feel the pain much longer.

Shaking, she grabs the razor.
Thin, delicate lines.
All lined up like tally marks.
Counting the times she felt alone.
The times no one cared.
The number of people that hated her.

One by one they bled.
It was like drawing a picture on her precious, porcelain skin.
Spelling out a message.
The message she's been trying to tell everyone.
But no one listens.

The water quickly turned crimson red.
The background to the portrait of her body.

The cracks in her heart grew wider.
But no light could shine in.
For the darkness was taking over.
Just like it had taken over her mind.

No longer would she feel the hate from everyone at school.
No longer would she feel inadequate to her parents' demands.
No one would miss her anyway.
She was just a blur.
Blending into the walls that held her captive.

Soon it would be over.
Shutting out the world that shut her out, she took her last breath.
The life poured out of her.
Her body went limp.
Feeling alive again no longer mattered.
 Feb 2014 Jocelyn Aguilar
tracy
remember the time when i tried to glue my hand to yours and
claimed that glue would be the reason we'd stay together?
you didn't stop holding my hand that day.

i walked 20 steps from your side of the bed into the bathroom,
the towel smells a little bit like you and you promised
it would stay there for another 20 years.

you know i'd stay here forever, right? when you're in a rocker and
i'm eating puree, ask me again to tell you the story of us.
i'll tell you a story better than cinderella or snow white.

they tell me i'm poetic but poems are written with meaning.
i write because i am searching for ways to describe you but
you're too big for poetry and i love you too much for language.
Here I am, consciously putting your puzzle piece heart back together because someone played the gambler and bet on your blood only to lose because you found out the game that was going on quicker than your host expected and they dropped your vessel like the glass trinket that it is and it shattered to pieces as it met with the ground. Harlotry is the game she started and didn't know how to quit, her mind seemed confused as well as her chest that seemed to be made cold as ice and black as night.
Here I am doing my best to show you how much I care, how much emotion is there in my heart waiting to be shared, to be left in your arms as the truth that it is, to be reflected in your eyes as the things I see, for I love you that much. I could stay with your help if you wanted me to, and could stare at the smile that I caused for you. Now here I breathe like it's not in my nature because of riggers of passion and moments of pleasure.
We could spread your beauty like a rumour that stays, like an illness that's healthy in odd kinds of ways. We can burn things together like pyro-addicted lovers and laugh in the faces of stupidity of others. And the places we stand will be all but cherished for our bitter facade has all but perished from the lives of those that treat us like **** in this evil world that's hell in a pit of a fruit of the universe that no one would pick for differences that express just how much that it ***** even for those with an Irishman's luck.
So here your faith shatters as mine did too and remembrance and patience are again a virtue that not many have because this world tore them down like a natur-istic thing that survives with a frown. And I love you so much I've faith in you, only you, and the things you may do for the hope that humanity will change one day and be more like you.
For Orion.
I either care too much
Or I don't care enough
It's like I'm playing a never ending
Tug of war against myself
Too much pushing and pulling
Wondering and waiting
Is it worth the time
Or am I going insane yet?
And even after taking steps back
To see things more clearly
My perspective remains the same
And the image is blurry
I can't decide what's right
And I'm running out of time
To finally make up
My ever changing mind

Drop the mask and façade
I need to see the truth
What is actually there?
What is actually you?
And what have you done
To try to make me stay
Even when it seems
Like I'm pushing you away
I miss the way it used to be
When you actually tried
Now I'm falling for you harder
And I'm scarring my pride
But what is actually hurt
Isn't the fact that you're fading
But the fact that I was wrong
When I thought I could change it

And maybe after this
I'll finally learn
How to point out the liars
Before I get hurt
But mistakes are inevitable
Even for me
I'm not the perfect person
I wish I could be
But I'll remember the past
When I'm living every day
I won't let people trick me
Won't listen when they say
That they can give me the world
But they have their fingers crossed
Because I can't lose my head
Or ever get lost
For the fear of unreturned love
Is something to hate
Because it's bound to happen sometime
Despite your effort to delay it

And well the seasons change
And memories fade
But the lesson will always
Remain the same
You'll have to face lies
Disappointment and heartbreak
But hold onto yourself
It's the only thing you'll take
Because most everything eventually
Crumbles and falls
But if you're still there
Standing up tall
You'll be able to start over
Get a fresh start
To reopen the wounds
You've sealed on your heart
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