my emotions
are bone scaffolds;
too weak and old,
keep on breaking,
keep on fixing,
disappointed, unloved,
overdosed with anesthesia,
a disaster in finding a cure
for this dementia

Her hair descends perfectly,
     gorgeously with the shiny sun,
And I like the way she stared at me
     in those stolen moments I held her hands:
She's in my wishlist;
     yet her mind is the thing I couldn't define:
I think I'm just starting to like her bubbly smiles...

My days are incomplete
     when I can't hear her sound,
My skies turned to gray
     when I can't see her around...
And I want her to know me
     as I know her right now,
'Cause I'm vulnerable;
     perhaps, I'm nothing for her somehow:

Yet when I find her bubbly smiles,
     things easily get exceptional
That even parallel lines intersect
     even just for a while...
Asymptotic love,
     is this happening as of this time?
But I think I'm just starting to like her bubbly smiles...

Is it affection?
     But I really mean it, it's a crush.
So how come I feel
     these feelings in a sudden rush?
I can't sleep peacefully
     when I can't dream about her,
And I can't utter words comprehensively
     whenever she is near...

I can't walk carefully
     when she passes by in front of me,
And I can't wonder thoroughly
     whenever she's just a distance away;
Is this just a hectic situation I'm at,
     or these have been such trials?
I think I'm starting to like her bubbly smiles...

And when she will perceive
     I'm into her, someday
I hope she won't becoming
     insecure being with me,
'Cause now maybe we're just friends
     living on a different isle,
I think, and will always think about her bubbly smiles...

Burning like ice.
          Cold like fire.
                    Somehow,
                              planets will collide.

This one's not gonna end,
bury my heart
if you'd love someone else.

Take my tears, I can't pretend,
let the world know
I'm afraid to lose you.

This day, I hope no one but you,
will stand beside me
in the midst of sorrow.

But if you'd leave me,
leave me dead
in the forest nowhere to be found.

This one's not gonna end,
bury my heart
if you'd love someone else.

Beautiful --- so beautiful
painting of the eyes
colored with rainbows.

Fly, fly, fly --- faster!
you need to escape;
will o' the wisp.

Flowers bloomed --- then withered
funeral of dreams,
broken dreams.

The stars are fading,
the moon is still sleeping, tonight.
Wherever you are,
you will remain inside my heart;
we will move the mountains and hills
and we will be forever till the end,
oh my love, I have been captivated.

I will be able to accept all the risks,
even if it will take away my breath.
Wherever you go,
you will always be my soul;
we will walk on the horizons, and stay
and we will be forever till the end,
oh my love, I have been captivated.

There is a castle
on my mind,
thoughts
are unexplained,
mysteries
deep within;

but whenever
I write,
leads confusion
to imprint;
a poet's pen
evokes concealed
feelings.

I don't know
     how to spell love:

is it
                          "F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S"?

A man starts to change when he starts to fall in love..












..and when he gets broken too.

Your name,
still stains my brain
like it had never been before,
you took me higher
but then again I touched the floors:
we have drifted away
(you were the one who decided),
and now, it is too late to be back
from those words you said.

Your lips,
still intertwine on my days
as you kissed goodbye,
it has been dreams faded ---
and lost with those myriad times;
you turned each night colder,
unbeknownst, and will never grow,
and chasing those memories,
somehow, is all that I can ever do.

Your eyes,
are still blinded,
that you could not see me through tears,
a broken heart from a broken smile,
and it will never be eased again;
you have thrown all the chances
far from usual things,
so what am I supposed to do
than to break down and cry?

And now,
you showed me the worst,
yet I will still miss you
throughout these lonely years,
I keep on bleeding,
keep on fixing these shattered pieces:
and I have no choice
but to accept every details found,
to understand everything
to be brave, then believe
and to chase those memories
by walking apart ---
apart from your grave.

If he cheated with you,
he's gonna cheat on you.

Cherish the scar
that once puzzled
you to believe.

Cherish the scar
that once vexed
you to forgive.

Cherish the scar
that once broke
your heart.

Cherish the scar
that once ripped
you apart.

Cherish the scar
that once was
your haven.

Cherish the scar
for you to take
the risk again.

You're sweet like chocolate
that runs through my mouth,
your name still my lips
rhyming about.

I'm drawn into your arms,
and I miss you every time;
our love tastes like chocolate,
we couldn't lie.

I'm drowning in blue,
fantasies are out of control,
you left butterflies in my mind;
we're supposed to be cool.

Your eyes are my windows,
even curtains were torn apart;
you're just a girl
breaking someone's heart.

I promised myself
not to fall in love again.
Our love tastes like chocolate,
suddenly it melts.

CHRISTMAS* is not only *FOR GIVING
but it is also about FORGIVING.

Bunch of rotten words has already been said
which could sometimes bring us to distant places,
I guess now is the time for me to give up,
to abandon and to sacrifice my selfish emotions;
because under the rhythm of my breath
we're only making every piece of our voices apart:
because at the corner of my mind,
we came up breaking each other's fragile heart,
I might miss the memories we ought to build
yet I'll try to love you no more throughout the years...

In order to find true love,
you don't have to taste
all the coffees in the world,
just wait for that coffee of yours
to cool down
and then just drink it;
you never know,
it tastes better than others.

why do
i love coffee
when it rains?

why do
i still love you
even it pains?

The strands in your eyes
reflects through the sunrise in my morn,
Your welcoming promises
I have yet to find in every step of my turn.
You’re the enticing melody
when my serene nights howl with sorrows,
You’re a seraphic presence
I imagined in the room when I’m so hollow.
Your hand fits perfectly in mine
but, how can you be so blind not to see it?
You’re so close yet still so far
well, I just can’t avoid your cold heartbeat,
Indeed, we’re just like dominoes;
I fall for you, and you fall for another.

It took so long
for you
to remember me again.

Memories
were made
to die,
like the sun
bid the moon
goodbye.

Rusting of ironed-love, never to forgiveness,
my eyes can perceive no beauty of sunsets.

Ignite the light, warm my dearest night,
prepare for the time, stones in the sky collide.

Deliver no pain, shout for joy, strengthen your faith,
for everything will be back to its normal state.

.
.
.

four...

three...

two...

one!...

MERRY CHRISTMAS
and
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

the government
is not
your enemy
but
yourself

Juvenile Government. Black-skinned Politics.
Lavish desires for power, establish conflicts,
Contrive one's graveyard for authorities,
And inculcate defalcation at the zenith.

Deciphering the truth from ocean of lies,
Sovereignty of benevolent people has drowned;
Flooded miseries. Benighted reality.
Withered accountability. Absurd transparency.

We fuss. We
            fight. We
    shout. We
   cry.

But after those
      tiresome quarrels
   and arguments,
                      it always ends up
          with a smile.

                We hold
     each other's back,
          and that's
               how
                    crazy we're in love.

Hahay...
anaa lagi koy dakong balay
apan wala gayud tawoy
bisan jutay'ng kalipay,
walay oras nga dili
maglantugi
hiniktan ang kalinaw
ug dili gayud makaipsot
sa adto nga pisi

dako lagi ug balay
apan wala gayud gugma
dako nga balay
apan ang kagubot
dili gayud
mahilona,
daghan lagi nga k'warta
nga natagamtaman
ning mga kamot
apan pubri ra gihapon
magasige lang sa mug-ot
daghan lagi ug suga
nga makit-an
apan kung tarungon
ug lantaw
ngit-ngit pa sa alkitran

maypag wala nalay
dakong balay
kung ing-ani man galing
maypag wala nalang
kung mao ra kini ang
makasamad sa akong
kasing-kasing.

I am imprisoned by this contagious disease
Which rendered reluctance and anxieties;
Should I hang first myself upon with this
     velvet rope?
To find a distant place to forget my
     greatest lost.

No one has ever arrived in that rendezvous;
I have been entangled into this path
     I never knew,
And this world is not enough for their
     expectations:
'Tis better to banish the reality, than to see
     my imperfections.

I only have one second left to breathe,
Yet I am already dead before my death
For I have been years in this relinquishment,
In every remorseful day I have been awaken.

My name is never written on the stars
And words are the only weapons in this war,
Do I need to take the risk, to take the rest?
When I am already dead before my death.

I swam the unfathomable thoughts I heard
But still I do not understand my existence here,
Hence, even if I only have one second left
     to breathe,
I am already dead before my death.

For all the ******* I have given
sometimes, I realized;
I’ve never been a good person to you,
but still you stood with me
against all the odds,
still you held my arms
when I’m about to kiss the ground,
still you never left me hanging,
never allowed my questions unanswered,
still you tried to understand my personality
as other people don’t.

I followed all your rules and commands,
I followed every step you were making,
perhaps, now is the time
to discover myself on my own way;
I listened every moment to your words
but please,
can I lend also your ears?
Unraveling the inner reason why I was born
but indeed I’m thankful , I found
an exquisite love from both of you ―
my parents.

Thank you for letting me
embrace the beauty of nature,
for letting me perceive the world,
and for letting me wander
beneath the pouring rain
(I learnt the lessons then).
Thank you for scolding me,
for giving me pieces of advice,
for the care,
for every sweat you tasted
(from sun-up to sun-down)
in order for us to experience things
that some could not
(I appreciate it like rain),
thank you for everything,
Mama and Papa.

I’m not used to, of saying
“I love you”, “Thank you”
and “I’m sorry” in front
of your eyes, but it
doesn’t mean that I don’t consider
these thoughts in my heart,
it doesn’t mean that these phrases
have never been at the corner of my mind.
You may not know, but as I’m breaking free
from my childhood stories and fantasies,
I’m also losing my strength, for I know
your presence is not permanent.

But Mama and Papa, I’m begging God
to bestow upon me enough time to show how
much I love you; how much
I need you both
in my hardest
battle, and in my greatest  loss.

It’s been years that were already in memories;
still you don’t recognize that I write,
that whenever I can hold my pen
I can’t resist the art of poetry,
yet I hope you will find
this poem I made before you depart.
I’m sending all my hugs and kisses
inside this treasure,
I may hate you sometimes
the way you talk to me ―
when I encountered mistakes;
but it’s only mild,
because you can understand me
as other people can’t.

Sincerely yours,
your child

Believe not those perfect
and so enticing words;
thou shalt be like an ox
heading to the abattoir.

In a tranquil night,
     soft rain
     began to fall;
     I, struck
     by your lightning,
     compelled to build
     defenses around
     my heart.

I'd rather be in distance
     than to succumb
     to your charms;
     the rain
     was just a drizzle
     like my feelings,
     if I'll tell you,
     all of a sudden —
     our story will end.

All I have had, the raven
Killing and blinding my eyes with tears,
My life, in a foolish endeavour
Trying to reinvent what was already lost.
Every waking moment,
I recognize nothing but pain;

I was dissevered by the trails of your fantasies
So, I surrendered deciphering the truth of truths,
Was bedevilled by the questions
My mind could not unravel the answer,
Jar your memory, even for a while;
For you to remember, I am becoming broken too.

And you shall fear not I, to cry,
If memories were left in morbid melancholy;
But fear, if in that heaven of smiles,
I might found a bird beneath my miseries;
Whom my heart would suffice the skies above
And will hunt for the love I once succumbed.

She loves me,

she loves me not...

she loves me!

Hazel eyes, stained with innocence,
Beauty of perfection, of imminence,
Bed of roses, fragrance of her neck,
His bones are always getting weak.

Beneath the pail moonlit night,
Flaming hearts, the only light,
Cold wind whispers words of love,
His arms, her warmth, a hug.

She stands in front of the mirror,
Cries a river of tears, in terror,
Eyes once stained with innocence,
Into imperfection, into imminence.

Lost in the midst of oblivion,
writings on the walls
are depiction of excruciation
I condoned,
with this question
clawing on my tongue:

"𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴,
𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯?"

The devil in my mirrors
has its beguiling wings,
now slowly burning
for I found my angel.

A piece of cake
           to be
                    a piece of sh*t.

do I have to stop now from writing poems
when my words now never wanted to rhyme at all,
when ocean was already turned into desert
when time has left me unknown and wounded,

when there's no one who melted me with love
when consequences told my mind just to stop,
when fragile promises were already broken
when the azure sky has torn out into pieces,

when lies still sound better than the truth
when this life has ever found nothing to prove,
when I'm tired for that girl I've been searching for so long;
do I have to stop now from writing poems?

Steadfast.
Yet with
one second,
one mistake ---

everything is ruined.

...do not
                    do donuts,
                                         do nuts,
                                                       ­     do knot,
                                                                ­               do not!...

Have you ever experienced like everybody
is watching, waiting for you to lose?
Have you ever felt like always been
misunderstood, and just being used?
Have you ever tried to elude from a thing
you thought was true?
Have you ever been waged in a war,
which caused hatred to grow?

There will always be lonely nights,
leading you to find no hope on fighting.
Don't kick the chair,
for tomorrow will all be yours,
just don't kick the chair,
soon enough, it will be over.

Have you ever been holding on for someone,
who can't even pay the worth of your pain?
Have you ever ripped yourself on a situation,
which only you were blamed?
Have ever seemed living in a spotlight
grasping for a reason to breathe?
Have you ever restrained for your life,
but then, the easiest way was death?

Tell me. We might be sailing with the same boat,
people are trying to delude you on a storm.
They are sitting there, waiting for your fall;
and their happiest moment is when you crawl.

There will always be hard times,
which you can only carry, are your hands.
Don't kick the chair,
for tomorrow will heal your tears,
just don't kick the chair,
soon enough, you will get better.