Doing this confession that I have never done before
'cause I don't like this aching heart to be prolonged:
I know you want someone more than I have been for,
but can you even treasure something about my words?

You were just a dream, I never thought I would have;
you were just a friend and it was change to love.
I would grab the opportunity just to tell everything I'm hiding:
and the reason is that, I can't go on just pretending.

But why can't you even look straight through my eyes?
Is there anything wrong if I say all the things I lied?
'Cause you know what? I'm the happiest person to have you
so please don't run away, I'll color up your days with my rainbow.

And now, it seems different 'cause you don't feel the same way
you can't even utter just a single phrase to make it clear to me:
please don't judge me from that moment I have found you,
'cause there was nothing which motivated me to tell these to you.

I just want to be honest as I'm now reading between the lines,
and please don't run away, please just stay by my side:
I should've told you lately when it was never too late,
'cause now the time has come for us to be fluctuated.

I opened the door,
I let you in.
I showed you the real me,
I whispered all my secrets.
I flew with you,
I fell from the skies, alone.
I was mistaken,
I thought we're the best of friends.
I opened again the door,
I let you in.

© 2011

it may such just a little thing,
yet it can end any sentences,
can caught any attentions
and can stop any questions

it may symbolize
any feelings:
sad,
angry,
or confused

this dot is important
just like anything
in this world,

for it doesn't matter
how big or small
a thing is...

...it's how we give meaning to it.

We dreamed about the future
and we forgot yesterday,
the pains in our earthly life;
Heaven has the remedy.
Along the angels singing
the songs of love,
believing they exist
is believing to God.
We dreamed about the future
but the future is today,
stop thinking about what ifs
and accept what is.

how do
i cure
my depression:

𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬

Echoing voice of the moonlit night
Foresee but unarmored from past,
Fragmented heart of broken lights;
Unraveling miseries already did last.

Drowned by tears of years were lost
From crawling those diverging roads,
Victim of dying embers found his cost;
Resemblance of faith is in the woods.

But God above guided his way home
And dry every little river in his mind,
Mournful shadows are still unknown;
Embers of souls are always in divine.

sunrise
and sunset
are waiting
for you
to forgive

tulips
have bloomed
in spring

but still
the smoke
of cigarette
that lingers
in your breath
and half-empty
glass of whiskey
know

you're hiding
a ton of pain

I was here lying in the darkness and can't even walk,
Alone with nothing, just the words I can't even talk;
People left me hanging in the storm with just one hand,
I was there in the 11th hour of living to turn myself to stand—

Yet instead from running away from those giant problems,
I knelt into the ground, and it brought me up from to something—
My life is a scar; my life is a piece of scattered mistakes
But because of Him, I can hold on to someone what e'er it breaks.

In that dry ocean from the bitter spring of broken hopes,
I'm now having the real meaning of facing all the odds:
And if I'm just dreaming, I don't want anymore to wake up;
'Tis better to be blinded than to see the world with 'tis own blood.

I have the adequate reasons, for He changed the man I was—
Who was sitting only beside those wall's shadows and dusts,
With this painted Love; I've been lifted into the sky through Thy Name,
From His shoulders, the search is o'er: I found now the Effervescence.

Therefore, methinks that...

...unlike charges repel,
         somehow, like charges attract.

my heart was embezzled
by these emotions,
I became dumb,
couldn't tell people
what's wrong

my eyes are parched,
no tears at all;
I'm incarcerated,
stuck in this puzzle
I can't solve

I feel loved and unloved
every single day,
I just want to see the world
without heart breaks

my treasure, someday,
might vanished,
throwned in the depth
of the ocean,
where no map
can find it

I'm helpless, with some
of these useless emotions,
I feel loved and unloved
every single day

I'm thirsty.
She haven't felt our hearts beat as one.
She let the tears spilled out
from my eyes;
caged me in this solitary moments.

I can't give her a perfect love story,
so caved for my own treasure,
but my treasure was a fool's gold;
when a girl's kisses,
suddenly is cold.
I refused all the pavements
for every wound she left to remember,
for I'm still searching for a person
who could fill this glass with water.

The end always the end.
But I still see
some of her refracted lights
on the mirrors;
forced me to recall
about the poignant past.
I admit, I let her expectations
perished into ashes of disappointments.

And I still do love her!
She always comes to visit in my dreams,
drawn me not to forget
every detail of her name.
I know we are only separated
by space and time
so I'll wait for her
till no more morning arrives,
for many have tried,
and many have failed;
still no one--
could fill this glass with water.

Come, let our hearts embrace thy warm embers,
I will keep you safe beneath my velvet feathers,
I will be the moonbeams to illumine your way;
Beseech reasons to brighten every mournful day.
Come, let our tongues speak every truth’s decree,
And sing a thousand songs of harmony to eternity;
The angels descend from heavens, and trust,
We will be together 'til our worlds turn to dust.
Come, let our eyes be never without light,
Of spring of tears have abandoned and dried,
Behold! Thy love quelled all my beautiful scars;
I will clench roses to exude the scent of my heart.
My only love echoes up on a tranquil shore,
Of laments of sadness forever will all deplore.

Even if this silhouette love
     would cry upon my grave,
Even if the stars collide
     and darken the eve,
Even if shallow rivers dry;
     tears deprive my plea,
There would still be you and me.

I am young man, conquered a few phrases
And my name is never pronounced by others' lips
I condemned myself for seeking words to rhyme;
For I've been in poetry, years after years of my life:
I may have not those qualities to be a renowned poet,
I will still write even Shakespeare stoop at me upset:
I love composing poems, whatever others may say
For I am prone upon this kind of art, day after day,
Poetry; is where my heart and my my mind solidifies
Tho I may have not a motif for others to be inclined.
He (Shakespeare) is already a diamond; I am not!
Dreams are where it all began, so I will never stop:
There are many prolific writers, better than what I may
Yet my hands will still write even Shakespeare detests me.

Why moon is more poetic
than the sun?
When beneath in it are lovers,
walking hand in hand;

Why rain is more poetic
than a day?

I don't care —
for she'll ever be loved by me,
than myself.

Why is it so hard to read
between the lines?
Why choosing once loving arms,
saddens someone's night?

When expressing loneliness
is so much to distinguish,

I don't care —
for she'll ever be loved by me,
than myself.

Why tears are more poetic
than a thousand smiles?
When crying,

crying is the only
thing to be done,
when words left unspoken:

Why wounds heal,
but scars still remain?

I don't care —
for she'll ever be loved by me.
than myself.

Questions seeking for answers.
Answers which are lost.

And even if I can' t have it now,
I know who is my choice.

I don't want again to wander alone
in the forest,
For there's nothing more poetic
aside from loving her
than loving myself.

The smile of the sunset appears to be my only way
To a moonlit love sheltered by your warm embrace,
I could not promise much, but if just you believe in us
There would be peerless fireworks written in our eyes.

Every breath I breathe is for the life I make for you,
And my endeavour is labelled by your lovely egos;
I could not promise much, but if you just believe in us
We could move mountains into the midst of the ocean.

Love has finally found the road, to which it has to be ours,
Everything I need is you, for the rest of the loving hours;
Your name is tattooed on my mind, I would never resist,
And you are the only reason for every breath I breathe.

Our bodies tremble with its softest touch,
Fiery eyes are calmed by autumn winds,
With fallen leaves surround us ---
     confusions are swept away.

Arms held tightly together,
No words can explain;
But the fact that we've shared
     mutual feelings,
Azure skies are filled up with glitters.

I can see the love the moment
I look into your beautiful face,
The light of a new morning forbids
Murky shadows of once yesterdays;

Everything turned into slow motion,
Everything is destined to be perfect
     everytime we kiss ---

And it doesn't matter how far or close
     I am, from your side
All that matters is how
     your sweetest lips invite.

Estranging those dusts of the morn
Truth be restored; peace be reborn;
Eyes can reflect each grief and gloom,
Scrutinize me 'fore world's doom.

Ne'er build fences for your heart!
Mark my footsteps o'er my past,
Hold me nothing than your parlance
Thus, adore me — except my tongue.

For eterne time may show my lies;
Howe'er, don't mourn upon each night
Open those eyes for who I am:
Then behoove me — except my tongue.

For future may seize you to change
But my persev'rance lasts no ends;
Bestow love with mere words to drown
And cherish me — except my tongue.

You're my breath, my ears and my voice
Tho 'tis diff'cult to be your choice,
I'll exult to all things I've done
If I'll be loved — except my tongue.

lighten the load
of your luggage
of insecurities

What is wrong? I ---
I already questioned millions
     of cooks around
          the world,
but still they can
     never give ---
the recipe for victory.

you are
the gravity
in my world,
and i
will always
f
a
l
l
f
o
r
y
o
u

Why every single time
I am with you,
my heart trembles,
my arms
wanting to hug you tight
and my lips
always
desire to kiss you
so softly,
that slowly
kills me inside?

The more
we talk,
the more
I fall in love.

Jeez...

        you're always barking a wrong person.

                                        Stop it!
                                                           Enough!

She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
We heard her unsound stories, then believed
She controls every little thing we controlled,
She lies at the bottom of every truth we hold
She lies at the bottom of every truth we hold

She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
But she could stir our bitter cups of sorrows,
With her, we are heroes whenever we wanted
There are no borders, no storms, just happiness
There are no borders, no storms, just happiness

She can take us to a new world of perfection,
But still our choice, will decide our destiny;
She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
We heard her unsound stories, then believed
We heard her unsound stories, then believed

Farewell to the woman
I still love,
we’re perfect
until we’re not.

Farewell to the woman
who held my heart,
we’re meant to be together
only to be apart.

Farewell to the woman
I built the future with,
just to wake up one day
to be a part of once past.

Farewell to the woman
I still love,
our different priorities
left only an illusion of us.

Farewell to the woman,
my best friend,
our eyes met
only to be strangers again.

Farewell to the woman
of my memorable years,
our sweetest smiles
suddenly turned into tears.

Farewell to the woman
I still love,
we’re forever
until we’re not.

eat me alive

in the darkest
coldest
part of the night

the moon
will not
haunt you

nor follow
your footsteps
in the midst
of our
love's demise

i can smell
your flesh
from afar

eat me alive

i'd rather
be dead
than being
alone

I have spent much time
on daydreaming,
I forgot things
I should have written,
words I supposed to pen
in the blank space,
are now gone —
gone as the night sleeps.

Becoming unknown,
from those fantasies I built,
the heart speaks —
when lips unvoiced by guilt,
for those lovely words
were now forgotten by time,
forgotten by my mind,
forgotten by the night.

Every ending has a beginning,
it is when you choose
to teach what you have learned,
to accept what you have lost,
to smile from what you have cried
and to realize
that life is still beautiful
even if you have been hurt
by someone else...

So, never doubt to say:
"Thank you for the broken heart"

Staring at the ceiling
trying to hide from mem'ries
we've been through
now, I'm free from tears,
but why can't I still forget you?

Your shadow crossed mine
but it never took so long,
your lips touched mine,
your arms wrapped around me,
and then left here so alone.

Why did you go away?
When I've almost given ev'rything.
I trusted you.
I forgave you.
Why?

I'm free from being intoxicated.
I'm free from being insane
but why am I still looking after you,
thinking where have you been?

Free.
Yes! I'm free!

That's what I believe.
I don't know if I'm lying
or what.

But at the end of the day,
I keep on running from the past,
I keep on rememb'ring some mem'ries of us
and it brought me...

...not totally free.

Since I found you, my life seems too bright
My friend indeed when times I can't smile;
I reckon every paramount moment with you
And I thank God I have a friend    
     to everywhere I tried to go...

I missed every touch of your hand when you're away,
For you're the only one who understands me, anyway;
You're also the one whom I can share my problems
And I don't mind what people might say,      
     I just keep all those vain things in silence...


That was before, but now...


I thought you were just a friend,    
     a bestfriend to me
But why I feel something different    
     everytime you are near?
Is it love? Or just nothing, I guess?
Yet why my days are incomplete    
     without you around in my place?


I'm drowning in every confusion you have given,
"Is it love?" A question I can't answer,    
     or am I just pretending?
But I hope you won't be gone anytime, anywhere
For I don't want to shed even a single tear    
     because it is too late...


I was a wanderer for FRIENDSHIP,
But now I'm wandering for LOVE
And I don't want to lose this feeling anymore:
For I don't want a million folds    
     to go back being sad...

were you in love
with the feeling,
or with the person
you were trying
to become

you were disappointed
a hundred times,
unconsciously
hurting her

maybe you were just
overshadowed
by your expectations,
turned you
into holding on
to a ghost

Eyes were poisoned by these incurable tears,
lost in a vivid imagery of how we used to be ---
you used to be the angel of my dreams;
reviving the past, finding a relief for myself,
leaving those memories; I can forget you soon ---
only if I will drown my sorrows
at the depths of acceptance in every truth.

"I can move on", "I can wait for her, even forever"
"There's no problem it's her choice anyway",
"Maybe someday I can find someone too",
"May God bless their love story",
"Hope her lover would never hurt her",
Yes! I uttered words which sound so beautiful,
but honestly, I lied, only to hide from people.

Well, you know what hurts me
the most right now?

It's your SMILE...

...because I know it's not for me anymore.

No matter what you
did right,
you might still be
in ruins.
You can always drown
in tears at night,
dog days will be over,
be enlightened.

Some people will look
for your mistakes,
and will try to cage you
in darkness.
Some might take you
for granted,
and will hurt you so bad,
be careful love.

Nothing is really perfect,
only imperfectness;
clear your eyes, smile,
pray for forgiveness.
Never give up to those things
you always wanted to do,
there will always be antagonists
in your life.

Good morning love,
wake up and rejoice;
share the rainbow
in your heart.
Never mind the mirrors
in the world,
they are just jealous
of who you are.

the good thing about being lied
is you'll learn how
to cry
in silhouetted corner
of your room
that once
was your world—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll know how
to smoke
that piece of cigarette
hiding in your closet
to get rid of his kisses
that still linger
in your breath—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll get hurt so bad
that you'll realize
the feeling
of how it excites you
to be alone again

The difference between
knowing YOUR ****
and knowing YOU'RE ****.

.
.
.
I keep on thinking...



why do some people leave
someone hanging?
.
.
.
and just let them cry with a

?

or an

!

or a

,

and not a

.

You are better than the best for me,
and I'm kinda shy, so I sometimes
     walked away;
I hate the way you caught me
     staring at you,
I hate the way I looked around,
     but there's nothing I can do.

So, I wearing all my favorite gestures;
much more, I can't stop reading
     your mind:
perhaps, you're the only exception
     I include
for you are the one who turned back
     my smiles.

I hate the way I can make you laugh,
for some reasons, you might recognize
     I'm into you:
yet I hate it when most of the time,
     I hide,
so maybe you think every time
     I'm dumb and cold.

But most of all
I hate the way I don't hate hate you
not even a blink,
not even a sound,
not even a word I pronounced.

I am now marrying the heart of the night
trying to escape from the shadows of the past,
perhaps, I am once a despicable, foolish knight;
but all I have now is because love already lasts.

I pushed myself beyond my comfort zones,
just for me to grow, and struggle, and start living,
but you were too blind for my tears, I prolonged;
and all I am now is because love found its end.

You stained every thought I only have in mind
I could not even hold the pain inside my chest,
I am now marrying the heart of the night
trying to escape from the shadows of the past.

I heard painful derision of the nightfall
drawn me to seclude my talent
into the unknown place where it was not born futile.
It has been years since you ate my mind;
since we met in that strange road
where all melancholies diverged,
you have been my relief, my friend
and my witness when I was crippled by tears.

I seldom asked the mirrors, why should I continue?
If there are thousands of people outside our worlds
who could create you better than I,
who could make you more attractive than my pen?
Why should I continue my dreams?
And so I almost gave up, surrendered in peace;
I always wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

I was sailing edges of the oceans
just to seek for a masterpiece,
but I was fooled by my selfish intentions
and so I laughed at myself for length,
for there were a bunch of times
I could not even bestow you a single word.

I was totally bruised; buried my feet on the ground.
Others love my poetry, others just trifle,
others read it aloud that no one can hear,
others in facade of silence.
It matters no more, I have critics then.

I write not to impress, but simply to express
my undefined emotions, and unstitched fantasies.
Well, composing you is little bit hard for my part,
but you were a butterfly in my heart.