i’m like an old dog
sleeping in your couch
alone inside your apartment
only lit by the rays of light
glowing in the afternoon
that slowly fades
as the night falls down.

i wait for your return
— as always.

i casually hear the sound of footsteps
outside the door
and my tail wags,
my ears bolt up,
hoping it’s you
jostling around
holding your groceries
(with occasional dog food in it)
fumbling for your keys.

but as usual,
it’s not you:
it’s probably the postman
or the neighbor.

i plop my head back
on the pillow you gave me
back when you just had me
which i totally outgrew myself in.

i’ll wait again in the evening
— as usual.

if i
embrace you
hard enough,

will it numb
the knives
you stabbed
on my back?

will the blood
quietly seep
—run down my legs,
and create
a puddle covering
our tired feet
from dragging each other
up until this point?

will my arms
slowly give
and let you go;
leaving marks of my grasp
on my skin like red vines all over it?

will my face,
my tears,
my lips,
leave an impression
on your chest
creating a braille
only your blind heart
could understand?

will my embrace
be enough
for you to stay?

i’m sorry.

i know i will never find
a love like yours,

but then again,

maybe your love
wasn’t what i was
looking for to begin with.

nanghihikayat
nanaman
ang mga ulap
na sabayan ko siya
sa kanyang pagluha;

dahil
sa lakas
ng patak ng ulan
kaya niyang balutin
ang aking pagiyak
sa pighati
na aking nararanasan.