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Aug 2020 · 170
;at least
Amira I Aug 2020
in your eyes i found peace,
in your arms you got me at ease;
–those lead us to our warm kisses.
i don't want to go, not anytime sooner; at least.
Jul 2020 · 177
the earth and its moon
Amira I Jul 2020
let’s start it off like this; you were the earth and i was the moon in the past life.
i orbited you every second of my life, was spinning around you; watching you.
but you were a planet, and i wasn’t.
—or was i?

i always meant to be your satellite, keeping a safe distance. though there was always an attraction between us, in the form of gravitation.
but deep down inside us, there was something growing that we never understood. and i thought it was how we grow as a person.

because the scientists proved that the moon is actually acting like a planet, just like the earth.
and from there i understand, however strong i tried to grow like you do, we will always be different, despite the gravitation we keep between us.
Jun 2020 · 693
Malam Malam, Ubud
Amira I Jun 2020
Rumah joglo di tengah sawah.
Dengan cahaya remang yang berasal dari pojok ruangan ini.
Pemutar piringan hitammu baru selesai kau perbaiki.
Ku memilih untuk mendengarkan album Chet Baker Sings dengan vokalnya, seingatku itu milik mendiang kakekmu.
Gelas-gelas tinggi sudah kau siapkan, sebotol anggur dari Bordeaux sudah ku buka.
Makan malam kita sudah tandas, dua piring penuh berisi daging sapi yang sore tadi ku panggang, hampir matang penuh, bersama hancuran kentang yang sedikit dibubuhi garam dan lada, dengan saus krim jamur.
Jasmu sudah kau tanggalkan dan sampirkan di sisi sofa coklat tua itu.
Gaun hitamku masih rapih melekat pada tubuhku, namun rambutku, yang hanya sepanjang bahu, sudah ku urai, agar kau bisa menghirup harum bunga sakuranya.
Kita menari, pelan, sembari menengguk asam dan manisnya anggur Bordeaux itu.
Ku kira Chet Baker telah letih bernyanyi dan bermain trumpet, suaranya perlahan hilang, digantikan oleh suara jangkrik dari luar sana.
Aku pun lelah, ku rebahkan tubuhku di sofa coklat itu, menyandarkan kepala di dekat sampiran jasmu, menghirup bau cendana yang hampir hilang.
Kau menghampiriku, memelukku erat, menghirup leherku, pipiku, dan mengecup bibirku.
Pelan-pelan, satu per satu pakaian kita tanggal, di bawah cahaya temaram, ditemani suara jangkrik, kita melebur, melebur jadi satu.
Tanah Ubud, tak pernah gagal membuatku jatuh cinta, sengaja maupun tidak.
terinspirasi dari lagu Sal Priadi berjudul sama.
Jun 2020 · 445
Surat Tersirat
Amira I Jun 2020
Jemariku bergetar saat menuangkan isi hati dan kepalaku kali ini.
Entah sudah berapa purnama ku lewatkan tanpa berada di bawah atap yang sama denganmu.
Bertukar suara via telepon genggam —yang hanya secuil dibanding dengan waktu duapuluh empat jam— pun ku sudah lupa rasanya.
Namun satu hal yang pasti, bagian darimu akan selalu jadi bagian dariku.
Akan ku bawa sampai ke ujung waktu.
Mungkin aku akan pergi lebih dulu, atau mungkin engkau? Tak ada yang tahu.
Semoga Tuhan tetap melindungi, di mana pun kau berada sampai nantinya kita akan bertemu kembali.

“Namamu jadi rahasia, dalam diam kan ku bawa; mendarah.”
–Mendarah, Nadin Amizah
Terinspirasi dari lagu Nadin Amizah berjudul Mendarah.
Jun 2020 · 390
JUNI
Amira I Jun 2020
Bulan kembali memutari bumi
untuk ke-enam kalinya di tahun ini.
Bersyukur, hanya itu yang dapat kulakukan
untuk segala nikmat yang masih kurasakan.
Kalau kata Pak Sapardi, dalam sajaknya
« Hujan Bulan Juni ».
Ia itu tabah, bijak, dan arif.
Namun, akankah ia turun kali ini?
untuk merahasiakan, menghapus, dan membiarkan––
––segala sesuatu perbuatan manusia, pun baik dan buruk.
ditulis pada tengah malam pergantian hari pertama ke hari kedua bulan Juni.
Jul 2019 · 1.2k
bulan pamit
Amira I Jul 2019
Halo, hari ini hari Sabtu, tanggal 27 Juli.
Mungkin di atas bumi bulan sebentar lagi tak terlihat dan beberapa hari lagi akan muncul kembali, namun sepertinya di kehidupan Bumi; Bulan akan sirna sebentar lagi.
Bulan bingung, bagaimana cara Bulan tetap tinggal di sisi Bumi sementara Bumi tidak memberikan ruang untuk Bulan singgahi, sementara Bumi tidak memberikan kesempatan untuk Bulan mengasihi.
Apa yang pernah Bumi sampaikan pada Bulan terdengar seperti omong kosong belaka saat ini.
Terima kasih ya, untuk hal apa pun yang pernah kita bagi.
Maaf jika Bulan akan tetap menjadi Bulan untuk selamanya, bukan Matahari yang menjadi pusat perhatian dan gravitasimu, Bumi.
Bulan izin pamit ya, sampai jumpa jika alam semesta merestui.
Jun 2019 · 583
apa boleh buat?
Amira I Jun 2019
mencintai tanpa memiliki.
klasik, ya, apa boleh buat?
aku tak pernah menganggapmu adalah milikku, pun aku adalah milikmu.
namun rasa itu tumbuh di antara kita, tanpa satu pun yang memaksa.
aku tau kau masih memiliki seseorang dalam daftar prioritasmu, terlebih, mungkin dirinya lah yang nomor satu.
tunggu, bukan berarti aku senang dijadikan yang ke-sekian; lagi-lagi, apa boleh buat?
aku hanya bisa menunggu sampai sang waktu memberiku lelah yang luar biasa hingga rasa sabarku perlahan habis,
karena ku tau rasa cintaku takkan pernah.
untuk bumi yang masih dan akan terus be-revolusi pada matahari.
May 2019 · 649
now i’m letting go
Amira I May 2019
i’ve loved you so deeply
that i eventually forgot to love my own

i’ve loved you sincerely
that i eventually consumed by my ego

i’ve loved you unconditionally
that i eventually broke my heart

our time was extremely short
yet i felt a lot
i killed myself to forget you
yet it was no big deal for you
—i loved you, now i’m letting go
May 2019 · 207
Untitled
Amira I May 2019
untuk Bumi,
lelah aku dengan rasa percaya;
saat harapan berujung kekecewaan, ketika jemari tangan tak lagi dapat bertautan.
kebas aku dengan rasa lara;
beberapa kenangan yang harus dilupakan, sejuta beban yang menekan.
kemari lah, dekap aku agar tidak menyerah.
mari melangkah dengan jarak aman, seperti halnya bersisian.
aku takkan mengikat, nanti kau justru mangkat.
terima kasih sudah hadir, aku tak lagi mengutuk takdir.

dari Bulan
Apr 2019 · 940
pray
Amira I Apr 2019
Now I'm letting go
Of what I've never known
Wherever you are
I pray the wind will guide you home
cited from Vancouver Sleep Clinic’s Letting Go
Dec 2018 · 719
graksa
Amira I Dec 2018
Tuan, sore ini akasa terlihat kelabu.
Semilir anila terasa membeku.
Aku berada di antara dua perasaan;
sukacita dan dukacita.
Sukacita? Ya, karena sebentar lagi graksa datang dengan gagahnya; mengejutkan semua makhluk di bumi.
Seperti kedatanganmu.
Lalu, dukacita? Ya, graksa yang gagah itu bisa hilang wujudnya dalam sekejap. Kemudian membawa hujan yang meninggalkan wresthi di permukaan bumi.
Seperti kepergianmu.
Oct 2018 · 318
secret
Amira I Oct 2018
I realized that the gap between us is way too loose.
I realized that the moment to finally know you is way too impossible.

I let my self took a step back, and my heart laid itself back.
I didn’t straight stop loving you all at once, but I do it little by little, part by part.

Thank you for ever making my days brighter than before.
Please know that it was really important to me.
Sorry if you ever notice me annoying.
Please know that I was just another secret admirer.

I hope to see you around.
I hope fate will cross our paths once again.
Jul 2018 · 232
maybe
Amira I Jul 2018
Paris, 2019

Maybe someday I’ll bump into you on my way to campus.
Maybe someday you’ll catch me buying some croissants in your favorite bakery.
Maybe someday I’ll see you having a cup of coffee at some cute coffee shop.
Maybe someday you’ll realize that I was always there near you.
Maybe someday I’ll realize that all of my dreams will always lead me to you.
Maybe someday you’ll figure it out.
Maybe someday I’ll figure it out.
Maybe someday we’ll figure it out.
Apr 2018 · 719
k a b u t
Amira I Apr 2018
Waktu masih menunjukkan pukul satu lebih tiga puluh menit siang itu.
Aku sedang berada dalam perjalanan singkat yang ku tak tahu mengapa terasa lama.
Entah dari mana kabut-kabut itu muncul, menyapa dedaunan, ranting, serta bunga-bunga mungil yang baru saja mekar.
Hujan tidak lebat kala itu, bahkan tidak tumpah barang setetes pun.
Kabut yang teduh namun diam-diam membutakan.
Yang tanpa ku sadari telah menculikku ke entah berantah, jauh dari realita yang ada, aku berlarian menembusnya tanpa takut tergelincir pun terjatuh.
Meski dinginnya udara sudah meresap ke dalam tubuhku, mengalir bersama aliran darahku, juga perlahan menusuk tulang belulangku, aku merasa aman.
Sebab ternyata, kabut adalah teman baikku, yang telah lama hilang; namun kini ku menemukannya kembali.
Feb 2018 · 1.5k
tepati janji
Amira I Feb 2018
Ku putar sekali lagi nyanyianmu malam ini,
sebagai penghantar tidur dan penyemangatku esok pagi.

Katamu aku mataharimu,
menebar kehangatan ke sekitarku.

Kau bilang kau tak dapat lupakanku,
juga tak mampu menyatakan ku milikmu.


Tak sadar kah kau yang membohongi diri sendiri,
menyamar sebagai pujangga yang hanya bisa berjanji.

Janji yang kita berdua tahu,
bahwa kata-katamu itu palsu.

Berjanjilah malam ini; bahwa kau takkan ada di sisiku.
Tepati, amali, sebelum waktu ‘kan berlalu.
inspired by Ardhito’s song; The Sun.
Feb 2018 · 794
sederhana
Amira I Feb 2018
benar adanya, bahagia itu sederhana.
seperti berlarian di pekarangan monumen nasional sore itu.
seakan kita ada di sana untuk yang pertama dan; mungkin untuk yang terakhir kali.
kumohon, jangan ada yang berubah.
tetap lah menjadi sederhana.
seperti kala kau tersenyum setelah melahap makanan kesukaanmu.
seperti kala kau bersenandung ketika mendengarkan lagu idola lamamu.
Feb 2018 · 243
s h e
Amira I Feb 2018
she’s at the point where nothing does satisfy her and she’s confused because nothing really passionates her to be better.

but she’s not lost, as long as the sun and the moon are still right there by her side, watching her while she passes the day and while she sleeps through the night.
Feb 2018 · 252
you
Amira I Feb 2018
you
white t-shirt & jeans. coffee & cigarettes. your smile & your gaze. god, what to expect more?
Aug 2017 · 527
Itu Aku
Amira I Aug 2017
Tak pernah terbayang olehku,
untuk bertemu denganmu.
Tak pernah terbesit dalam pikiranku,
untuk jatuh hati padamu.

Semua terjadi tanpa ada yang bisa mengira.
Semua terjadi begitu saja.
Tanpa ada paksaan.
Tanpa ada taruhan.

Percayalah kasih,
semua lagu yang kau suka,
semua bintang yang kau sapa,
dan rumah yang kau tuju
Itu aku.
Oct 2016 · 326
never understand
Amira I Oct 2016
I never understand how could the world goes around so quickly.
At one moment, I feel so happy that I couldn't stop smiling.
But at the next moment, I feel so ****** up that I couldn't even move my lips.
Oct 2015 · 1.8k
Maybe, Maybe Not.
Amira I Oct 2015
"Maybe we’ll come together later in life, when I’m more world-traveled and you’re done turning a blind eye and keeping people at bay.

Maybe I’ll still love you with the same fierceness I did before, when you weren't ready to think of me because you were too hung up on everything else. Maybe I won’t love you at all but, somehow, we’ll still come crashing together with the force of a wild storm; the kind that ruins buildings and destroys streets.

Maybe we’ll fit together the way we were supposed to, when we were young and foolish and I fell in love too soon.

Then again, maybe we won’t fit together at all. Maybe we’ll collide together and explode into pieces, where nothing can be picked up and pieced back together because too much time has passed and I stopped waiting for you.

Maybe you’ll love me the way I loved you, the way you should have loved me when I wanted to give you everything; the world, myself, my heart, my soul. Maybe you’ll run into me one day, when time has passed and our friendship weakened, and you’ll get that lurch in your stomach. The one pulls you forward, makes your heart race, and your cheeks flush.

Maybe it will stop you in your tracks and you’ll see me the way I used to see you, with breath-taking awe that consumes every inch of you. And you’ll think of all the things you want to say to me or how you want to approach me, but you’ll wait too long and the moment will pass and I’ll be gone.

And you’ll think of me for days before you see me again. Maybe you’ll make your way towards me, walk purposely across the store with your thoughts in order and then you’ll stop because you’ll see me with someone else. Maybe I’ll smile at them in that sheepish way I used to around you, with my chin tilted down and my eyes peeking up through my lashes, and your stomach will drop. Maybe they’ll make me laugh and I’ll look up at them with all the adoration I used to give you and panic will sweep through you.

Maybe they’ll kiss my forehead like you would, but then they’ll take my hand like you were always afraid to and we’ll walk away and leave you standing there with all these things you wanted to say unsaid. And, maybe you’ll understand what it was like for me; to be enamored with you, to be awestruck by the beauty that was you and to have all these things to say get left unsaid.

And maybe you’ll regret never giving me a chance because you couldn't figure it out. Or because you were too caught up in thoughts of other girls or other things. Or you were too scared of losing me, but you lost me anyway.

But then again, maybe I’ll still want you then like I want you now and you’ll see me one day and say all the things you should have said when we were young. And maybe the timing will be right and there won’t be other people around mucking things up. And maybe you’ll love me the way I love you.
Because I’d really like that, I think, for us to come together like a hurricane; where things are wild and chaotic but in the thick of it all is a calm serenity that defines us. Where we compliment each other in all the right ways and smooth out each other’s rough edges. Where we have the relationship we should’ve had but didn’t because you’re complicated and I’m complex. Because I know what I want and you’re still figuring it out.

But then again, maybe we won’t come together at all and there will just be a bunch of unspoken words between us curling in our throats and dying in our mouths. Maybe our moment passed and I’m starting to accept that.

Then again, I can’t help but hope our moment’s just around the corner when I’m more world-traveled and you’re done searching for yourself."
Not mine, I saw it on someone's tumblr.
Sep 2015 · 1.2k
but
Amira I Sep 2015
but
But baby, tell me.
What if we were
really meant to be?
Aug 2015 · 318
Untitled
Amira I Aug 2015
It was stupid of me, wasn't it?
Praying for something that could never happen.
I spent months wishing you'd feel the same way although you were left in oblivion, because lack the courage and I'm too gawky and you're so fascinating and lovely and everyone thinks you're great and I could never approach you and risk a goodbye.
And when I stand next to you all I could see in front of my eyes is an angel but all I could hear is my mind telling me that I wasn't good enough for you.
And I hate that you don't know how much I think about you everyday and I hate myself for even feeling this way in the first place.
But I still love you even though I don't want to and it still hurts but maybe it's love because it's supposed to hurt and I'm still hoping you'd see me and I'm still wishing I would stop.
God please let me stop.
Aug 2015 · 387
fine
Amira I Aug 2015
I don't care how much my self hurt.
As long as you're smiling,
then I'm 100% fine.
Jun 2015 · 361
Untitled
Amira I Jun 2015
In that moment,
I swear to God I couldn't stop my self from cursing.
It was just a *******
milli per second.
When you looked at me
on my eyes.
****.
That was a single word
that came from my mouth.
Your eyes are obviously
the most beautiful eyes that everyone is dying to have.
Babe, I'm ashamed.
That a pair of perfect eyes
like yours could look
at a pair of ugly eyes like mine.
If I could stop
the time from ticking, I would.
I could spend the rest
of my life in that moment.
I think you got a spell on me.
You hypnotized me.
But I'm not gonna complain.
Jun 2015 · 1.1k
Pulang (10 w)
Amira I Jun 2015
Semoga sejauh apapun kau mencari, akulah tempatmu untuk pulang kembali.
Jun 2015 · 1.2k
forgot
Amira I Jun 2015
You might tell your best friend about me,
But I forgot that
You might tell him about her more often.
Jun 2015 · 472
never (10 w)
Amira I Jun 2015
I swear
I never
Wrote this
Much to
Someone else.
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
struck
Amira I Apr 2015
I think I haven't felt this feeling
In such a long time.
It's different.
Just the thought of his voice
Makes me giggle.
It's definitely different.
Just the the thought of him
Makes me laugh.
I haven't even met him
For 2 years or something.
I only can see him through his photograph.
And it already makes me happy.
But I want more than a photograph.
I think I got some love-struck
This time.
Apr 2015 · 3.1k
Birthday Poem
Amira I Apr 2015
Dear you
This world is not a wish granting factory
But please believe that you will get everything you need sooner or later
And remember that the things you needed, are not always good
It may be bad, because what is good when there is no bad, right?
In your sixteenth birthday, I wish you could be wiser
You could be more mature
To face everything in your life

Happy 16th Birthday **
For my best, and dearest friend. ❤
Apr 2015 · 584
sleep
Amira I Apr 2015
so this is it, huh?
the feels when you can't let go that one person.
though you never met him, even for once.
i realize that i've been dreaming the whole time,
and today i accept the reality.
you won't be back for us.
you will forever be there.
away from me.
i knew from the first time that this couldn't be real.
you're only there in my dreams.
and because of that, i want to sleep;
forever.
Apr 2015 · 841
A trip
Amira I Apr 2015
today,
i went away
it was the longest trip i've ever had.
8 hours by train.
i thought it will make me forget about you,
but i was wrong,
it makes me even remember you; more and more.
this trip makes me realize that this world is such a beautiful creature.
and i'm glad that you're a part of it.
even though this trip doesn't get me to you,
but i know that it will makes me ready for another trip
to get me to you.
for my beloved, Zayn Malik
Mar 2015 · 2.2k
oase
Amira I Mar 2015
Menemukanmu layaknya menemukan sebuah oase di gurun pasir
Bagai ilusi, bagai khayalan
Sangat aneh, juga sangat nyata
Setelah perjalanan yang panjang
Setelah mendamba akan air
Setelah mendamba akan cinta
Akhirnya kutemukan dirimu
Penghilang kehausan
Penyejuk jiwa
Jan 2015 · 477
reverse (10 w)
Amira I Jan 2015
Maybe today
     Is gloomy
          But for
               Me it's
                    So bright
Dec 2014 · 12.1k
distance
Amira I Dec 2014
Your face.
I love seeing your face.
It melts my heart,
It calms my mind,
It brings smile to my face.

Even though I don't know you.
And you don't know me as well.
I'd still keep this feeling to you.
Admiring you from far.
Loving you through distance.
Oct 2014 · 626
He is..
Amira I Oct 2014
He is my angel
God sent him when I was at my worst
And he helped me to stand up again.

He is my life saver
He treats me the way I want to be treated
And he makes my heart beats again.

He is my babe
He fills my lungs with sweetness
And he fills my head with him.

He is my best friend
He can talk to me for hours
And he can always makes me laugh.

He is my lover
He loves me the way I love him
And he doesn't wanna lose me the way I don't wanna lose him.
Sep 2014 · 981
Where Were You
Amira I Sep 2014
I was there for you in your darkest night,
But I wonder where were you
When I need you the most?

Where has the time gone,
You promised that you'd never leave
Oh Baby, why did you run away?

And all those fairytales you told me,
They're totally full of ****.
Am I right?
Sep 2014 · 705
Don't You Mind
Amira I Sep 2014
I gave you something you can never give back,
Don't you mind.
If you see the scars in my hand,
Don't you mind.
I nearly killed somebody,
Don't you mind.
I did something terrible to your body,
Don't you mind.
I was thinking about killing my self,
Don't you mind.
I love you,
Don't you mind.
1975's song
Sep 2014 · 540
Glad
Amira I Sep 2014
You bring up a smile to my face.
You make me laugh with your jokes.
You keep talking to me, to make me feel okay.
You come when my days are dark.
You light up my life like nobody else.
I'm glad you're here.
:)
Sep 2014 · 593
walk away
Amira I Sep 2014
It's 3.15
I'm wide awake.
Thinking about one person.
That I love the most.
But hurts me the most.
I want to shut my eyes.
I want to sleep;
forever.
Because I don't wanna wake up
tomorrow morning
Without your smile.
I' m sorry I walked away.
It hurts me the way it hurts you.
Amira I Sep 2014
It feels like I'm going back to seventeen months ago.
Feeling what once I felt.
Confused.
Depressed.
Lost.
Trapped in two feelings.
You,
or
Him.
I think this is the time,
when what once went around
comes back around.
Jul 2014 · 1.6k
:)
Amira I Jul 2014
:)
Tuhan tidak pernah menjanjikan bahwa
Langit akan selalu biru,
Bunga akan selalu mekar,
dan Mentari akan selalu bersinar.

Tapi, ketahuilah bahwa Tuhan selalu memberikan
Pelangi di setiap badai,
Senyum di setiap air mata,
dan Jawaban di setiap doa.

Karena Tuhan tidak memberikan apa yang kita mau.
Tapi Ia memberikan apa yang kita butuhkan.

Maka, jangan pernah menyerah.
Teruslah berjuang.

Life is beautiful.


Yoga Triantoro, 2013.
Jun 2014 · 737
Until I See You Again
Amira I Jun 2014
Until I see you again

My eyes are closed for everyone
Jun 2014 · 573
dead in the water
Amira I Jun 2014
i open up my eyes
but my vision gets blurry
i can hardly breathe

your hands let go of me
the cold strikes my bone
i don't want you to go

i'm there in the water
still looking for you
i'm dead in the water
still waiting for you
inspired by ellie goulding's song.
Jun 2014 · 2.1k
let me
Amira I Jun 2014
let me
hear your beating heart
one last time

let me
see your brown eyes
one last time

let me
touch your tough arms
one last time

before
the daylight comes
Jun 2014 · 615
sky full of stars
Amira I Jun 2014
last night
i felt empty
without you by my side.
i decided
to look at the window
through the dark sky,
i saw the moon
and the stars
i thought
i found you there.

you're
a sky full of stars.
such a
heavenly view.

— The End —