i anchor
myself
to the back
of your mind
you wish
me away
but here
i still linger

Don't worry about the distance
   I will find new ways to make love
                                    To you

There’s this
pressure
on my ribs
reminding me
of every choice
I’ve made
and doubted.
You can’t undo
things you’ve
done in this life,
and you can’t
move on
if your mind
won’t let you.
-JRM

Burnt to ashes
how do I spark my flame?
Perhaps, embers somewhere
still breathe
and so I write again?

Bonfires and wildfires
people see so well
but the fire in my heart
remains unseen.

If you ever come along
and empty the sea on me,
I'd would still be burning
till he came,
a drop of tear from his eyes
is all I need
to douse the raging fire
deep inside.

I doubt
material wealth
means anything
in the afterlife
on the off chance
that I'm wrong
bury me
with my books
and my plastic owl.

I stand mute in a world of muted colors
I can't help but feel I'll never love again
honestly I don't think I will
I'm  tired and worn out
I fancy the thought of being alone.
The burden of caring that ruined my capability of loving
the damage you've inflicted on the girl who's never hurt you
Left scars no one can erase
Yet within this faded world I live
I'm lost without a trace

My first love, my blood, my sweetest Mother
Her ravaged body wrapped in white cotton cloth
White so bright as to spill into cancer with light
I brought her white chrysanthemums
Their long petals scooped away the tears
Rising and falling like tides in an ocean of sorrow
We burned incense, we bowed, we embraced change
We were reminded that life is delicate like rice paper
In all of time she was unique as herself, the only one ever
I remembered daisy chains
Sky blue eyes which said they loved me unconditionally
How she stayed in the hospital with me all night
Holding my newborn child
Whispering secrets into her granddaughters ears
Only they will ever know.
I miss her laugh, her pearls of wisdom
" Take it easy on yourself, love "
" Take care of yourself first so that may take care of your daughter"
" Remember you are beautiful, strong intelligent and loving"
I still hear you Mom