Heather Rose

Heather Rose Jun 2015

When you were younger everyone asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up.
For most kids their answers were "Doctors, Astronauts, Firefighters, etc." things that the people asking knew they would never become.
But they just let them live the dream for awhile.
Then later on in life they get asked the same question once they were older.
The responses then were "I don't know." "How am I supposed to know?"
How do they except a reasonable answer when we aren't being taught the things we need to know in order for us to make decisions that could affect us for the rest of our lives?
In order for us to grow up we need to find our own paths and go down our own journey's.
We have to make mistakes and learn from them.
That is what growing up means.
Taking chances, making memories, and going after the things you believe in.

#up #dreams #journey #growing #paths

Heather Rose May 2015

Love

I want to know what it feels like to be loved
A kind of love that isn't forced
One that just comes natural
Something that makes you happy and have no worries
I want a kind of love that you see in the movies
A fairy tale type love
One that doesn't really exist
But everyone wishes it does
I want a love like the Notebook or any kind of Nicholas Sparks romance
I want a love that you are sitting on a porch in rocking chairs by the man that you grew old with
I want a love that lasts a lifetime

#love #happiness #old #couple #lifetime

Heather Rose May 2015

Feelings

The feelings that I have for you won't seem to go away
I lay down and wish this thoughts away
I don't know how much more of this I can take
You tell me you miss me, then turn me away
How I am supposed to handle these feelings?
How am I supposed to live my life like this?
You say that you want me, but then you change your mind
You say that you are thankful for me, but then shut me out
These feelings I feel are so ******* real
I'm tired of these feelings
I'm tired of my feelings getting hurt
Feelings ****
I hate the way I feel for you
I hate that I go back to you, even when you ignore me for days
I don't understand why I still have feelings for you
When you really don't give a **** about me
**** feelings

#feelings #**** #it #over

May 2015

Bluedyedroses

What if

"'Mom, I'm tired.."
I said, as I walked slowly towards her
My arms weighing me down
Hanging by my sides, T-shirt no sweater

"Go take a nap sweetheart"
She replied in a sweet, soothing tone
Wish I had said something more
Cause where I'm going, there isn't a phone..

I've withered and got down to my goal
It's a shame more people didn't realize,
No one took it serious enough
I never felt like I was the right size

I couldn't feel anymore neither happiness nor pain
If this is what it took then I'm glad the job is done
I loved you all so much so please forgive me
But I think this nap will be my last one

If my illness takes me before I'm ready to go, at least someone somewhere out there will know

#love #peace #sad #depression #hate #girl #sleep #mentalillness #mind #ed

May 2015

Erenn

Everything

From the very beginning
When I fell hard for you
Running on feelings that I kept denying
Slipping into your river vein that drowns me
Tripping over your anger, sarcasm, flaws
And everything that you pushed away
It was all beautiful

You are beautiful

I want everything
And I made a promise to myself.
I want to love you till the very end.

It's always been you from the start.
All your imperfections.
I want everything
I want you.
(Read it from bottom to the top too)
This is for the girl whom I fell in love with here on Hello Poetry
And she's my GF now:)
Thank you so much guys for the love:)
I can't believe it's my second time getting featured.

#love #life #pain #you #everything

Heather Rose May 2015

Sick

I feel so sick
I don't know what to do anymore
I never feel good about myself anymore
I feel like I look like a ****** twenty-four seven
I feel like I never look good
Even when someone tells me I'm pretty, I never believe it
I feel so ugly
I feel so fat
I feel like I can't ever do anything right
I've tried to push my disorder down and hide it
But I can't do that anymore
I eat till I feel sick
When I feel sick I let that feeling go away in the toilet or shower
I throw up until there is nothing left inside me
I still feel sick after that
I feel like my parents will find out
I don't look sick but I feel sick
I don't want to feel sick anymore
I need help
But I can't ask for help
Then my parents and family will find out that something is wrong with me
Why do I have to be sick?

#purging #sickness #bulima

Heather Rose May 2015

Life

I'm so done with everything
I just want to give up
I'm sick of being used
I'm sick of people making me feel like I'm not good enough
Then throw me away like I'm nothing
It's not a good feeling
It makes me feel like I'm a *******
The guy I slept with the first time ****** me mentally and physically
He used me to get what he needed at the time
Then he kicked me to the curb
I thought that he cared about me
And I thought this time would be different
We've had our past and we went our ways
But we found each other again
I wish we wouldn't have though
You ruined my self-esteem
You made me feel so worthless
When I had my pregnancy scare
Your words to me were
"We wouldn't be a thing, we'd just share a kid."
Those words were like daggers in my heart
I didn't know where to turn
I felt so lost and devastated
I know I'll be judged for what I'm about to say but...
I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't be pregnant
And if for some reason I became pregnant
I would "get it taken care of"
I'm not ready for a baby
I have my whole life ahead of me
I'm still in school
I just became a sophomore in college
I can't provide for a baby right now
And I want my baby to grow up with two parents
Who would love him or her
And being a single mom wouldn't provide that
Judge me, hate me, I don't give a **** anymore.

I just want you to know that having a baby is your decision and if you feel like you can't provide a good life for you child, then do the right thing and get an adoption or an abortion.

#love #scared #thankful #notpregnant