I feel so sick
I don't know what to do anymore
I never feel good about myself anymore
I feel like I look like a ****** twenty-four seven
I feel like I never look good
Even when someone tells me I'm pretty, I never believe it
I feel so ugly
I feel so fat
I feel like I can't ever do anything right
I've tried to push my disorder down and hide it
But I can't do that anymore
I eat till I feel sick
When I feel sick I let that feeling go away in the toilet or shower
I throw up until there is nothing left inside me
I still feel sick after that
I feel like my parents will find out
I don't look sick but I feel sick
I don't want to feel sick anymore
I need help
But I can't ask for help
Then my parents and family will find out that something is wrong with me
Why do I have to be sick?

"You're a control freak" you yell at me.

When all I am looking for is some sort of consistency

you're right though, I only like what i can't control

maybe that's why I have good grade, but maybe that is also why I stick my fingers down my throat

Help me
I'm desperate
I have puke in my hair

Help me
I'm desperate
I threw up twice in an hour

Help me
I'm desperate
No one sees the pain I'm in

Help me
I'm desperate
Or is there even a point?

Where can I go
When I'm feeling alone
All of my usual places
Are being destroyed
My blade,
It has been taken away
The toilet,
It's being monitored
My binges,
Well what's the point
when you have to keep it in

There's no where else to go
But I can't keep it in
I want to swallow a few pills
Just to free myself
I'm tired of life
But I can't tell anyone
Or do anything
Where can I go