that honesty was the best kind of poetry.
So here it is. My kind of poetry
but your kind of honesty.
I am so
infinitely,
undeniably,
irresponsibly,
head of heels in love with you.

Drunken texts and phone calls at 3am
Forbidden fantasies of you and me
Stumbling through the city to find where you might be
It's all a trick isn't it,
An impossible dream.
Your apartment door shakes,
Oh it aches for me.
Taxi cabs being forced to drive.
You send me away,
No. Not tonight..
Lipstick kisses and tired hearts.
I always take it that little bit too far.

How did I give you all this power over me?
Clearly I did not mean to.
I am not my own person anymore, who am I?
My life slipped through my slender fingers, my only hope was for you to catch me.
I was let down not once but several times, your “power" twisting my bitter soul.
What must I do for you to see?
I picked up your habits, your drugs are killing me inside and out.
I never enjoyed the lighting of cancerous cigarettes until one hang from your mouth.
I lack power, the only quality you seem never to loose.
Maybe I am just weak
A weak, dying speckle of dust from your shoes, but drink me up and spit me out, only will I crawl back to you.
May I blame it on power?

Sometimes it's not when you're perfect
That you feel like yourself, it's true;
It's when you're embarrassingly imperfect
That you know that you're definitely you.

I am content here
with our voices low.
When we breathe
I feel Life in the sighs

In our hollow of soft lights
and pillows

Saying things slowly and sweetly.

I'm afraid
no, I'm terrified

terrified of a world where you get to stare
into the paradise
that is your eyes
as often as i do

that you get to see the sunlight
create a glimmer reminiscent of
the shine of a diamond
as it bounces off your smile

that you see more than the curves
in your gluteus
that you learn that you're beautiful
& get used to it

that you learn the patterns
of the palms of your hands
& notice how the constellations
pale in comparison to their beauty

cause to be honest

i'm petrified
petrified by the thought that
one day
you'll learn to adore yourself
as much as i adore you

& realize that you deserve better.