You broke your own heart
and wanted me to apologize for it.

I don’t need to make myself more
palatable for you to enjoy me.

I am not sorry for being myself.

i want to make you feel guilty
for changing your mind about me.

it’s not your fault that i am damaged
but it is your fault for how you acted.

it’s okay if you don’t want my body
because i’m not letting you anywhere near it.

*** with you is better as a concept anyway.

trying to hold a conversation with you
is mentally exhausting and i just
don’t have the time to defend every
sentence that comes out of my mouth

my words are not wrong
just because you don’t like them

When I look at you,
I'm pretty sure my heart melts.
I don't know how to explain that
but it's how I feel and how I've felt.
You're becoming my happy place,
you're making me brand-new.
I thought I should let you know that
I think I'm in love with you.

Anxiety is like a sixth sense that is wrong 9/10 times but it screams louder than everything else so it seems like it's the most urgent. Usually nothing's wrong and usually I overreact and even though I know those things I still wake up at three in the morning freaking out about something that's probably irrelevant. My anxiety says "oh this time it's real trust me because i'm the loudest thing in your brain so i am obviously right." and I'm like 'yes that makes sense tell me more please', even if its been wrong every single day for two years straight. A never ending cycle.

I hate when they don’t understand
when I say
“My anxiety hurts so bad today”

I try to describe it to them,
like when you get butterflies
(but replace them with knives)

She warned him before he came over
that she might wake him up in the night.
For her mind is plagued with monsters
that cause her to act out her nightmares.
He laughed it off and chose to go anyway,
aware of the seriousness in her warning.
He laid with her through the trauma,
and got a glimpse into the prison she owns.
The prison that lives and thrives in her brain.
He did not question her motives when
she woke up suddenly and pushed him away.
He wasn’t afraid for he understood why.
She wondered why he wasn’t scared,
and suddenly it hit her like a train.
The reason he did not startle was simple.
He must be plagued with monsters too.