My life in odd numbers
1- You are breathed into this world by two loving parents who are still far too young, still children themselves. They will make mistakes, It will be okay. Forgive them, because everything they do for the next 17 years is to help you.

3- You are developing faster than most kids, they can already tell. This is good but take this increased intellect humbly, for at some point your brain will be all you have.

5- You smile at complete strangers, keep doing that, everyone deserves your kindness. Continue to love everyone unconditionally, this is one of your best qualities.

7- Tell someone. Everyone experiences trauma, some worse than others, some are affected more than others, some blame themselves, don’t. Do not let your trauma take over your life.

9- Your youngest sibling has just been brought home, You will love her so unconditionally that she will sometimes make you forget how much you hate yourself. Hold her as much as possible, you’ll miss this time when she's older.

11- You are in a new, unfamiliar place, this is a good thing. You will meet fantastic people and have good experiences. Accept it for what it is and be open to change.

13- You must learn to get restful sleep. Your all-nighters cannot be your safety blanket forever, You must sleep to heal, to grow. You must face your night terrors.

15- Look at you, stronger now more than ever. But darling you must learn to love yourself before anyone else can truly love you. You’re only hurting yourself because you believe you are not beautiful but trust me, darling, you are beautiful.

17- Stop worrying so much about what the future holds, be happy in the present day because you never know if you will wake up tomorrow.

Dear rainbows,
Thank you.
Thank you for showing that out of every storm comes
something so inexplicably beautiful that we often stop all that we are doing to admire you.
Thank you for being a bright light at the end of every struggle.
The day that you don’t shine after a terrible storm is the day that I give up.
Thank you For your every hue.
Larger than life, your bright colors streaming across the sky,
Thank you for being a beacon to all of our allies.
I reach for you and your beauty.
Thank you for being the symbol of an identity I hold so dear
For your colored stripes are ever so often my only hope.
Thank you for giving me strength when I need it most
You tell us, not to give up when life is unfair, to not succumb to our despair
Thank you for being this, Mirage of heaven
The prettiest woman, a reborn Marilyn Monroe
Thank You For I can feel your hands guiding me
Down every bumpy road
Thank you for standing tall
Like paint trickling down from the sky
Thank you for being the bay and meadow
While the clouds fly high above your head
Thank you, for defining all my colors
All the colors of my rainbow eyes
Thank you for your rare kind of beauty
For, heckling the rain
Thank you, for brightening the sky
The vibrant shades of the world
Thank you for cheering me up
Even on the darkest of days
Thank you, because after the world glistens with rain
It's fun to explore what lies beyond your end

Dancing rainbows heckle the sun.
Jealous that everything orbits the star.
Grateful that the Sól of the universe contributes to their existence but they curse in silence...
Appearing unannounced and bringing smiles on rainy days by ironically displaying multicoloured frowns.
Holding grudges over sunsets.
Plotting against sunrise,
Conspiring with the night.
Unsatisfied with it's mere moments of glory.
Still whispering silent thank you's
Bipolar rainbows.

Marie is a rebellion,
A stark fight
A ****** war
Like no other
She is the depth
of the ocean
Fish, sea monsters
and all
Marie is
Eccentric
A mistress
if you will
A vision
Of grace,
Twinkling eyes,
Blue as the sky
Marie is
Forgiving
Yet
Spiteful
like a
grapefruit,
Bitter
yet delightful
Marie is a
powerful storm
In the dead of night
She is the
child everyone
Wishes for
But
Never receives
Marie is
sorrowful
Yet is never seen
Without a smile
A beautiful
creation,
Made of
Pixie dust
Marie is
Radiant
Like the sun,
Shining
Ever so brightly
She desires
Stability,
A loving home,
In someone's
Arms

I wholeheartedly wish I could be the best at something.
My inferiority complex
The nicest,
the funniest,
the prettiest,
My inferiority complex
the most spontaneous,
the most adventuress,
the most forgiving,
the most talented,
My inferiority complex
the best musician,
the best writer,
the one who makes people laugh the loudest,
My inferiority complex
But there is always going to be someone
better in my surroundings,
in my bubble.
My inferiority complex
It stems from a family I never really belong in
From friends I never really had,
Subjects i was never really good at
People i never really knew
My inferiority complex
How am I to compete with those,
Smarter than me
When grades “determine” intellect
My inferiority complex
How am I to compete with those
More beautiful than I
When the outside is all taken into account
My inferiority complex
I am so tired of feeling inferior.
My inferiority complex
Lonely, broken. Empty
Nothing more than shards of glass
A failure, A disappointment
My inferiority complex
consumes me
Suffocates me
My inferiority complex
The Jealousy,
It defines me
My inferiority complex
Why wasn’t I born to be like him,
Like her,
Like them

sometimes
                                                       ­                         my
                                     ­ brain
                       doesn’t
                                                       ­     work

right
                                                ­                               and

                             my

                                              thoughts

     ­                                         scatter

               ­                                                    like
                               beads

                                     spilled
                               on
                                                              ­                 tile

floor

My heart
It holds everything
The good, the bad, the ugly
This heart pumps blood throughout my body
My heart
It holds the grief
From my uncles suicide
This heart, it's keeping me alive
My heart
It holds love
Newly found self love
This heart, just sitting in my chest
My heart
It holds the pain
Of seeing my mom down pills everyday
This heart beats to a rhythm
My Heart
It holds the trust
I put in my brothers hands
This heart is strong
My heart
It holds the benevolence
of my soul
This heart is heavy
This heart
It holds the shame
Of never being enough
This heart is sad
My heart
It holds fear
A fear of abandonment
This heart is broken
My heart
It holds the joy
of my sisters smile
This heart has been many places
My heart
It holds disgust
From a cousin, who couldn't keep his hands to himself
This heart has seen too much
My heart
It holds my anxiety
Formed from my father's anger
This heart hurts
My heart
It holds sadness
And blood stained memories
This heart deserves so much more
My heart
It holds sorrow
Strong enough to rip apart skin
This heart is a champion