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g Aug 2017
the air still and stagnant
as it has always been
since the day you left
for what more could i say
if your heart never wanted to stay?
g Aug 2017
When I am gone,
Do not be torn,
For this is what life entails,
I will not prevail.
Despite my shortcomings,
thank you for still loving.
I might no longer be here,
But I still hold you dear,

Always.
i had to write a eulogy for an assignment and the assessment descriptor said we could be as creative as we wanted (songs/poems/whatever) and this is what i came up with at 2am in the morning
g Aug 2017
i just really miss you.
g Jul 2017
now
i'm not speaking for everyone
just the ones
who are like me

it's not masochism
neither is it psychotic
but the pain we love
and the love we pain

for pain brings us
to new levels of understanding (the self, others)
to greater heights of seeing (the self, others)
to lower grounds with (the self, others)

p a i n
the dreaded four lettered word
l o v e
another dread in another day

the immeasurable love
that brings us
immeasurable pain
and yet we throw ourselves in

for what more can pain/love do
except to make you feel
                                          ...pain?
4:44AM thoughts.
g Jul 2017
being brave
doesn't always mean
doing dangerous things

being brave
could also mean
getting out of bed
every morning

being brave
could also mean
putting your heart
back out there
despite hurting multiple times

being brave
could also mean
apologising to someone
first

being brave
could also mean
being in pain
yet choosing to smile through it

you're so so brave
and i'm so proud of you
so proud of how far you've come
and so proud of how far you'll go.
things will be okay.
g Jul 2017
5 year old me
thought it was
sharing things with people
crying with them

12 year old me
thought it was
holding hands
the term "boyfriend"

15 year old me
thought it was
kissing
touching

18 year old me
now understands
love comes in many different forms
sometimes in words
sometimes in expressions
sometimes in staying
and sometimes in leaving.
maybe someday i can fully comprehend what love is :")
  Jun 2017 g
C
It's been drilled in every poor man's head,
by a man only slightly less poor
"money cannot buy happiness."
But I disagree!
If you say that,
You have not watched your father scream at God at 7 in the morning,
questioning His existence,
as we get kicked out of
the second house that year.

I no longer find excitement
in new places.

You've never waited for the first of the month.
Every month.
In order to eat something other than spaghetti
and dollar store hot dogs.

You've never had your power shut off for an entire month
And watch as your family rips apart,
boiling water on the stove just to bathe.

Your parents owe everyone money.

You've never worked in order to buy your cleats, yearbooks, and school supplies.
Only to have your parents take that money, too.

You can send your vibes,
and tell me to think positive.
But the world is distorted!
Our lives are only better now because my family got jobs.

Before,
I watched a bulldozer
go through the house I grew up in,
as the bank sold our home
and built an auto-parts store over dirt
I used to ride my bike on.
The last pieces of my grandmother, crumbled.
My father stayed up every night
and slept through every holiday and birthday, since.

Is that happiness?
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