the indescribable feeling
of getting to know someone
to know every single thing
that makes them fun

but it's also the 2am talks
and the 3pm walks
that we truly discover
what we can uncover

for sometimes
people disappoint
when we build
expectations far too high
for them to surpass

plethora of emotions
unfurling inside me
is this all worth it
it's dark upfront i can't see

Chinese songs and thunderstorms

my parents taught me
to remain silent
when i have nothing nice
to say

they said
people will not
assume i'm a mute
if i keep quiet

so now
when something requires a nasty reply
i keep silent and
raise my *******

of sadness
of emptiness
of thoughts unsaid
of relationships unmade

they say it gets better
my question is when exactly
i'm tired of feeling like i don't matter
i'll leave this world gladly

why do i set myself on fire
just to keep others warm?
in a constant state of ire
no longer want to conform

baseless fright
i just know it *****
but its just another night
better for me to give no *****.

the state of exhaustion
perpetual sleepiness
oh what bore!
oh what disaster!

i wish i could erase my ******* existence from this world.