I wish I could think of
the right way to say
I love you...

It's like there's no possibility.
My vocabulary is far too limited
  The love I feel is far too complex
              And I am far too unimaginative
to give you something that hasn't been
Said a million times.

      you would certainly find a way -
      youve always been fantastic at words
      and i wish i could borrow
      some of your genius...

Every combination
Every language
Every time I try
I can't figure it out

You have made me feel like...
Like the solar system revolves around me
Like death could never take my life
Like I know the Name of the wind

      ... no ... i can do better
      i want to keep trying
      i need to keep trying because
      if i cant figure it out
      im going to implode

You deserve a special
I love you.

      something to mimic the special
      you make me feel every day
      i yearn to give you that
      so bear with me while i paint you
      a written picture instead and
      hope it can convey some semblance of
      i love you:
------------------------------------------------------------­
You are a city.
And that city, in my head,
Looks a little like... well

it's under constant construction, the
scaffolding where you expand
the buildings - your knowledge.
and despite what you might think
it's a comforting presence

between them run roads, so many intersections
all leading to different interests
but those streets have potholes - your past
experiences - and there isn't enough tar in the world to fill them.
not that it matters, because your traffic never stops and the
streets are never still; potholes and all

zipping around on those roads are cars
that get you from point A to point B - your responsibilities,
when you really need to stop for gas. it's admirable
how dedicated to those pit stops you are, and
that you still really love driving

fortunately, despite pollution - the toxicity dumped
by other people - your city is still eco-friendly. you wanted
fresh air, so on each building you install solar panels - you
never sit back and let people ruin the world

so people sit on their porches and listen to music you pipe
through the city streets, via loudspeakers you installed
because you want people to enjoy themselves - and they
absolutely love it. they show their appreciation through
smiles and laughter. how could they not? nothing can compare

In your city
I want to be a window washer
                      a maintenance woman
                      a taxi driver
                      a gas station attendee
                      an ecologist
                      a musician
I want to be someone involved with all you are.

You're a constant inspiration
So call me selfish, but I relish just being around you
And lavish that I get to be special to you

You deserve more than these simple three words
but for the sake of concision - your favorite, I know -
I'll simply say
I love you

I love you so much
in my heart of hearts
Know that.

One of my greatest fears is losing you
and sometimes I feel the time has come
      too much distance
      too many differences
that you're ready to leave

Not many things make me
     as sad as that does
Very few things bring me tears
     like that does

If I could make you feel
the physical sensation of
I love you -  I would.
It's visceral

I feel my heart warm up
knot in my chest
and in my throat
butterflies in my stomach
and tingles on my skin
Only just begin to explain it

I love you
with every fiber of being
Please
don't give up on me

What was the last thing we did
together?
as a family?

I genuinely can't remember
and it breaks my heart
like our broken family.

Was it baseball on the television
sitting together in the living room?
Was it dinner at the table - no
it's been years since we've done that.


Come to think about it,
maybe TV dinners were the wedge.

Dad traveled for work
every week we'd see him 2 days.
Mom got her masters
and ran the house, working full-time.
I... I was too lost in the tidal wave of high school
too blind to see what was happening. Until-

Freshman year of college I felt it. Without me
there was nothing to reconcile mom
as she fell out of love and into independence.
Plus dad was out of work and at home, of course
that only caused the boiling *** to overflow. Now-

Dad's all alone
         and
Mom took the cat
         and
I'm living 9 hours away from both

the house goes on the market in January
but mom moves out in December
and in January I need to apartment sit the cat
while mom travels for work

I.
HATE.
CHANGE.

change you
change me
change us
it changes everyone

change here
change now
change time
change place
it changes everything

Just ******* change it all
I don't ******* care
It's just everything
I've ever known

No matter what I do
it always comes
and changes
changes
changes

i
hate
   goodbyes
  and
  i
hate
  change

People are like Pokemon
and I'm the trainer.
This time it's my story
being played by 7.8 billion people

Unfortunately,
I appear to have broken
a max repel in my backpack
and everyone keeps
leaving, fleeing or disappearing

I guess I'll catch the few
that stick around anyways