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My mind remembers the past in the events that fliped my life upside down. Or maybe it is the moments that I wanted to hide behind closet doors and let myself cry. I'm not sure why it is this way but it is. When I think of years before all of the day's become a blur and only negative parts stand out. I have to try and remember days when I was happy, like really try, even though those weren't really rare as my mind makes them seem. But once I've managed to pull some out recently it only makes me tear up. These memories are always engulfed with the love I felt flowing from you when you'd put your arms around me and the look of overwhelming happiness in your eyes. These memories are the only ones that can pull me together when I feel as though I'm falling apart and I miss those days more than anything. I miss the bond we had and wholeness we shared. But I feel us moving on  with our future and there is a small but unforgettable spark in your eyes that gives me hope things are getting better.
I don't feel so alone anymore. It has been easy for us to pretend but now I feel as though things are really falling back into place little by little.
 Dec 2015 Xnihilo
PaperclipPoems
So when you've been standing out there for hours waiting for the storm to pass

Consider finding shelter because it may take longer than expected.
Shelter yourself. Don't rely on others.
 Dec 2015 Xnihilo
PaperclipPoems
I've got a moment to myself
And a clear mind for once when I write
All negativity aside
Wow, you know- for once I feel alive.
No more cloggy sentences
Filled with emotions I can't explain
No more cloudy rain clouds causing
Muddy puddles in my brain
I've had enough of "I can't take this"
No more depresso shots in my coffee
I woke up this morning and realized
I deserve to be happy.
 Dec 2015 Xnihilo
GaryFairy
law
 Dec 2015 Xnihilo
GaryFairy
law
with all the flaws in our laws
they stall a cause with a clause
it's hard to get because across
because the cause hits solid walls
 Dec 2015 Xnihilo
EtherealOmega
I can still remember
The way things were so sweet and simple
Just two kids happy to be friends and share every moment

I can still remember
Us sharing our first kiss on my bed
Just the simplest kiss of two curious kids

I can still remember
The kisses the came after more and more frequent
And how every time my lips met hers they tingled

I can still remember
Falling for my best friend slowly
Her laugh and smile all I could ever want

I can still remember
All the nights spent in the basement
Curled close under covers stealing secret kisses as a movie played

...I can still remember…
When it all started to change
How the sweet and simple faded replaced with something worse

...I can still remember…
The needy kisses the parted my lips
And how her own felt like fire upon my skin

...I can still remember…
How my best friend slowly became my mistress
How my first love slowly became a sin

...I can still remember…
All the nights spent in the basement
That I came out of with rope burns on my wrists and a fear of restraint

...I can still remember…
Her fangs sinking into the skin at my shoulder
That place still stings and burns sometimes at night

...I can still remember…
Her time and time again leaving for a real boy
Only to come back crying saying I was the only one for her

...I can still remember…
The way my heart shredded itself with every parting
But still found a way to offer itself with every return

...I can still remember…
The first time I didn’t answer her call
The way my heart hurt because it wanted to hear her

...I can still remember…
Both the bad moments and the good with equal fervor
And so I still keep her picture on my wall as a reminder

Sometimes I still think about calling her again
Just to see how she’s doing
...But again I can still remember….
How my heart took her back time and time again no matter how broken
And how I used to convince myself I felt nothing at all

And now I know I can’t risk it
No matter how much I miss every single thing about her
Even the bad nights spend in the basement
...Because I can still remember...
How I would find myself tied back into the cycle
The cycle that almost took my life
I can still remember
And when the memories come knocking
I just need another escape
 Nov 2015 Xnihilo
EtherealOmega
A healer with broken wings
Stands staring down at his hands
They are covered in crimson blood
As clear tears run down his cheeks like a flood

The memories..
They are all coming back to him now
Terrible things which he wishes he had never done
Things he wishes he could go back and change somehow

He lost his gift trying to free her
His love to him the greatest spurr
Yet still it was not him that broke the chains
Yet still it was not him that took away her pains

He lost his wings when he was cast from the order
His gift used up and his mind now in complete disorder
The ones above him saw him more as a threat
That it would be better to just cast out and forget

He lost any last shred of humanity when that creature came
When it tried to make him and it one and the same
For that life it took from him his sight
But ever more it had cast upon him a terrible blight

Now he is losing his sanity
As he stands in the rain contemplating life’s profanity
Everything is swirling around him in a cloud of dark abyss
Everything within him has gone terribly amiss
The simpleness is gone
And so is the light

  Now his mind is falling into…..                                                   
                               
   o                         
                                    
     h  A          s                                                       
                                   C     ­                                                                 ­                                                                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                              
                                                                 ­                                                     .
 Nov 2015 Xnihilo
EtherealOmega
An angel of Death with agonized eyes
Sits alone in the dark as she cries.
She doesn’t want others to see her in pain
So in the silence of night she causes it to rain.

What she isn’t aware of is that one other knows
Whenever to a quiet place in tears she goes.
He can feel it in his heart like a searing knife
Whenever her own is filled with painful strife.

Maybe one day he’ll sneak up and surprise her with a rose
Instead of in the shadows of silence staying froze..
He knows it would make her all smiles,
And for that he would walk a million miles
And go through the universe’s hardest trials.

But for now he will pretend that he doesn’t see,
And through the small little things try and from sadness set her free.
Because even though his wings are broken, and he will never fly again
This faded healer with darkness swirling in his soul
Will for her happiness pay any toll.

Forever his love for her will shine
Even after he has passed forever into the shadows’s silent shrine.
 Nov 2015 Xnihilo
GaryFairy
100,000
 Nov 2015 Xnihilo
GaryFairy
at one time, we were all migrants
we had a dream and tried to find it
the torch of freedom was our light of guidance
we might have died if our cries were silenced

their dream relies on our compliance
we can't decline the reasons behind it
hear their cries and let them find an alliance
they're just trying to escape the violence
America was built by migrants...i say, let them come...
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