I stumble
I fall
I've been through it all

I break
I bend
But I will always mend

And when the grips I held
Keep telling me no
When the doors are closed
And I don't know where to go

I will run to the mountains
Where I find my light
I will chase the sun
Reminding me what's bright

No it's not easy
And no it's not smooth
But there's something so breathtaking
About seeking the truth

And it's the process of healing
That's so worth the wait
And though you may be tested
The end result is great

you don't understand-
i can't help that i'm skinny.
a stick that looks useless,
curves small to secure pity.
you don't understand-
its hard to maintain weight.
the food won't add on,
no matter how much i ate.
you don't understand-
i have so many flaws.
freckles galore, and
dark vains that resemble claws.
i'm trying to tell you, yet
you can't understand.
"you're so lucky you're skinny"
but,
"it ***** you can't tan"
surely you'd know by now,
i'm fragile but strong.
i can take all your pity,
but my "luck"- not for long.
i may be skinny and as short
as can be,
but tell me you understand,
before you say you want to be
me.

the epitome of love was all that you were
you saw right through any scars and tears upon me
the mistakes I wore didn't define me in your eyes
it was like I was so valued that there were no words
but maybe "no words" for me wasn't what I thought it was

because there really were no words
I heard nothing
the love I once saw
evaporated
dripped away into nothing
but a fear in my heart

I thought you would be here
and when I knocked
nobody was there
time and time again

sometimes
when you love too hard
they cant handle it, they say
but you could
I know you could
you just weren't ready
but sometimes people come too soon
and by the time you came around
it was just too late
far
too
late.

here I sit
grounded
speaking of who I now am
I am a worker

I will not get off my wall
these hands that shake, fearfully
they will work until they are sore

you can try to pull me down
or shake my foundation
but, no, not me
not this time

its at this moment
when I realize this wall is only for me
the one who knows the truth
who knows the way and life

you can try to climb my wall and join me
but no, that's not how this works
you will crumble
crumble into a pit of endless ruin if you do this alone

don't come to me for help
come to him
he will start a new wall for YOU
you are a worker now

you will work until your hands shake
fearfully
working until you are sore

you know me
and you see me
but seek me in the dark of night
where my face is shadowed
and safe from exposure

I am dark but lovely
and the darkness isn't the evil that you may expect
there's something beautiful about a mystery
and that's all I want you to discover